President Barack Obama introduced a new flag today for the United States of America.
At a press conference in Washington, D.C. the recently reelected socialist declared that he had issued an executive order replacing the traditional stars-and-stripes with a new design intended to be more "progressive and diverse."
The brand new American flag features a green and red color scheme, meant to symbolize Islam and Socialism, respectively. The red portion sports a Soviet hammer and sickle and six French fleur-de-lys, representing the six "important states" of California, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Hawaii.
The green section features the phrase "People's Republic of America'" written in Arabic. Just above the script is a marijuana leaf celebrating America's drug culture.
So Gallantly Scheming...
The controversial content of the flag attracted intense criticism from the reporters attending the event, but Obama was undeterred:
"Look I earned political capital in this campaign and I intend to spend it. I'm not running for reelection again. So I can do what I want, when I want. America's an Islamic, Socialist, 420-friendly nation now. And it needs a flag to match."
Constitutional experts say Obama has the legal right to fly the flag over all government buildings. However, to make the flag the permanent official flag of the United States would take an act of Congress. Such a bill would likely sail through the Democratic Sentate, but face a stiffer challenge in the Republican controlled House.
For Shirley Shepard, a homemaker from Lubbock, Texas, Obama's new power grab underscores the importance of the conservative movement:
"This exactly why we need Republicans in Washington. If it weren't for conservatives like my congressman, we'd be like North Korea by now."