Obama Unveils New American Flag

Nov 12, 2012

President Barack Obama introduced a new flag today for the United States of America.

At a press conference in Washington, D.C. the recently reelected socialist declared that he had issued an executive order replacing the traditional stars-and-stripes with a new design intended to be  more "progressive and diverse."

The brand new American flag features a green and red color scheme, meant to symbolize Islam and Socialism, respectively. The red portion sports a Soviet hammer and sickle and six French fleur-de-lys, representing the six "important states" of California, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Hawaii.

The green section features the phrase "People's Republic of America'" written in Arabic. Just above the script is a marijuana leaf celebrating America's drug culture.

So Gallantly Scheming...

The controversial content of the flag attracted intense criticism from the reporters attending the event, but Obama was undeterred:

"Look I earned political capital in this campaign and I intend to spend it. I'm not running for reelection again. So I can do what I want, when I want. America's an Islamic, Socialist, 420-friendly nation now. And it needs a flag to match."

Constitutional experts say Obama has the legal right to fly the flag over all government buildings. However, to make the flag the permanent official flag of the United States would take an act of Congress. Such a bill would likely sail through the Democratic Sentate, but face a stiffer challenge in the Republican controlled House.

For Shirley Shepard, a homemaker from Lubbock, Texas, Obama's new power grab underscores the importance of the conservative movement:

"This exactly why we need Republicans in Washington. If it weren't for conservatives like my congressman, we'd be like North Korea by now."

  • http://twitter.com/PeteMarriott Mr. Soultronica

    No funny, absolutely absurd. Crazy people like Victoria Jackson would probably believe this farce of a story. There’s way too much anger out there, perhaps you should reconsider this one.

  • Haifa

    I get that it’s all satire… But I am a little bit sick of seeing Arabic script used in all the wrong ways! How hard is it to do some research into how to translate a sentence into Arabic in the right way and how to use the script correctly on Photoshop or whichever design software you are using?

  • DailyCurrant

    You don’t explain how its wrong.

  • JPancake

    1) If someone from Lubbock Texas opposes it… its probably the correct thing to do.

    2) Obama didn’t legalize pot. The people of Colorado and Washington did… on a state level (it’s still illegal on a federal level). So for those of you who want to put power into the states (conservatives)…you should be for it on a fundamental level because those 2 states want it.

  • http://twitter.com/drlulzington Dr L.O.L. Lulzington

    It’s good…but it could use a gay orgy and a scattering of aborted fetuses.

    ETA: This is my first visit here. It’s like, “Where have you been all my life, Daily Currant?”

  • Eric Person

    I am so sorry i stumbled onto this website, however, I promise it will never happen again.

  • http://twitter.com/1EgyptQueen QueenNefertiti

    Oh please get a life whoever posted this

  • http://twitter.com/1EgyptQueen QueenNefertiti

    If people would believe in GOD more they would know they have nothing to fear, I say let people live their life as long as they not hurting anyone and you live yours. I believe President Obama did the right thing, other people have a right in this country as well and we all need to respect them as well. Gay people are nice and fun people although I really don’t believe a person is born gay it’s a choice they make during life and GOD didn’t make them that way but I still love them just the same. Love is every where and not hard to find anymore. PEACE!

  • http://twitter.com/drlulzington Dr L.O.L. Lulzington

    You’re wrong. It’s not a choice and that is a scientific fact.

  • jrtjrt

    Isn’t the phrase ” Peoples Republic of America” the same phrase that is written on Obama’s wedding ring?

  • Chat Pata

    Dude. The Arabic is not used the “wrong way”. It is used the “reverse”. It reads, “Al Sha’ab Jamhooriya America” translated “United States of America” :)

  • Chat Pata

    My guess is, Daily Currant used Google Translate and messed up. LOL

  • Chat Pata

    This is what happens when you learn Intelligent Design instead of genetics in schools.

  • don green

    ig-no-rance.

  • Randal

    The ignorance in this feux-article and its comments is repulsive.

  • BRasmussen77

    Obama, Richard Dawkins, and the ghost of Josef Stalin are planing to distroy America. I can’t believe wat this socialist muslem tyrant has done this to our brave and prowd nation. We r finished.

  • Ms.Conservative

    The Marijuana leaf may just represent YOUR president’s (my dictator’s) love for reefer, bud, chronic, grass… Whatever pot users say these days. Just saying…

  • Swoloyag

    The letters are written left to right and not connected. All letters in Arabic should be in cursive and read right to left.

    جمهورية الشعبية الأمريكية

  • Donna Sartori

    the daily currant is no different than any other tabloid garbage

  • cerealspiller

    Is that why you read it?

  • SilentelyLaughing

    your ignorance is showing.

  • Who’s the dumbass now?

    Says the guy who wrote “fire(s)-article”

  • Who’s the dumbass now?

    The first thing they did was destroy literacy, apparently.

  • Fried Chicken

    also new hats for the Marines

  • mardifromOR

    Too bad some of the right wing nuts believe this…

  • l0nelydreamer

    never gonna fly the flag in my yard! Red, white and blue for me. I’ve been reading a lot of these article, and a lot of them piss me off a lot, seems like some of them couldn’t even be true. Then again, with what libarals are doing these days, it isn’t so hard to believe lol

  • http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EvidencefortheBible/ Galut1

    S P O O F ! its not april fools but its interesting how many folks buy in to it ….

  • Hani

    WRONG! it says “The People Republic America”, and honestly sounds like a typical chat, i.e. “God, Country, Family”

    It should be more like “The People’s Republic of America” and written so: الجمهورية الشعبية الامريكية

  • Hani

    HAHAHAHAH way to miss the point!
    I can’t believe how ppl are actually so blind to humor and satire! STOP eating junk food, it’s limiting your brain waves ppl!!!

  • Hani

    lol nice one…

  • http://toneout.thecomicseries.com/ l0nelydreamer

    I don’t eat junk food, I eat american food. and I don’t find anything funny or satire-ical about obama changeng the american flag. you sound like the typical libaral dummy.

  • Guest

    This is called satire. SA-TIRE. Mockery of individuals or situations, the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. Farce, absurdist humor. If you can’t get that then frankly you apparently it becomes more and more increasingly clear, as if that was difficult to see in the first place, why the Rebubbalicans pander to the low informed, ignorant, naïve dolts. Sigh… there is always one that sees the worm and STILL bites the hook…. my, my….

  • Tom Tait

    So, if you think its a choice? Tell me, when did you decide to be straight? Hmmmm? Tell me, when did you wake up and say “I think I will be a straight, heterosexual for the rest of my life?” Can’t answer that can you? You might want to rethink your belief that it’s a choice.

  • Tom Tait

    Well, considering that post by Brassmussen, it wasn’t apparently a great deal of work.

  • plcc07777

    Nonsense

  • john

    I disagree, my mother was married for 22 years then became a lesbian for 3 years, then married again for 6 years now shes a lesbian again…. its a choice. look if your gay your gay, that’s cool, idc. this is America you can be whatever you want to be, but don’t do that… its a choice, ive seen it mant times. maybe more of a very strong preference in lifestyle..

  • Dr L.O.L. Lulzington

    Your mother is what’s known as a bisexual.

  • Enzo

    Lets not give Obama and bad ideas people!

  • Guest

    Technically, Obama’s direction is the same as Washington and Colorado, based on results of elections since Reagan was president.

  • K1MBERLY

    I AGREE WITH LONELYDREAMERS REPLY AS WELL AS THE ALL AMERICAN STARS AND STRIPES FLAG

  • Kirsten

    Tell me, when did you decide to be straight? You must remember the moment, right?

  • guest

    Not real numb nuts

  • Guest

    Everyone can since you’re not born sexual. At some point in your life (Definitely not between being born and 7) you became SEXUALLY interested in the opposite gender and that’s when your sexual orientation is decided. So no you’re not born gay or straight, you’re just born. A babies mentality is survival and that is it. Exposure to life and experience helps you decide what you’re attracted to.

  • disqus_r1dIlra8k4

    I can’t believe “wat” this school system has done to you. You can’t spell to save your life. If you have no ability to spell, you surely have no ability to interpret politics. Obama is not a Muslim, you rock-headed, brain-washed hypocrite.

  • adbj102

    Obama IS A MUSLIM and THAT isn’t satire!

  • Benjamín Joel Fleet

    Satirical publications are not at all the same as tabloids. Satire is intended as comedy.

  • Benjamín Joel Fleet

    Actually it is, and you need to do something about your racism.

  • adbj102

    OK, I’m a racist and you are an idiot! At least I have enough intelligence to add up all of the facts, but you don’t!

  • D

    Sorry, you’re so wrong. Seriously, even now in my late fifty’s I still remember the day I decided to be hetero-sexual during my first kindergarten nap time (4 years old), when I got a great up-skirt of Nancy (censored)….

  • CGCG

    omg, get your FACTS straight. He grew up knowing many religions through his mother’s desire for her child to know more than one religion, even though she herself was not religious. He became a Christian in his adult life when he realized he did have a belief and yearning for religion. He is a Christian. but if he were a Muslim what is it to you??? Muslims are peaceful god loving people.

  • CGCG

    HA!, really?? This SITE is all about Satire. gosh, get. a life!

  • spionbaba

    The Quran & the muslims who /truly/ understand it realise that Islam is NOT a peaceful religion. The Quran 2:191-3 states that non-muslim people must be killed immediately, on-sight. There are about 100+ other verses that are unambiguous in the call to incite violence and impose death onto those who are not muslim. If you say anything to the contrary as a muslim, then you do not understand your own religion’s teachings and commands. Full Stop

  • donkeys

    Where’s the ejaculating gay penis?

  • Shawn Johnson

    Yeah… It’s a good thing Christians have such a peaceful book in the Bible, with absolutely no passages condemning non-believers to death… 2 Chronicles 15:12-13

  • MaslowK

    That’s the point. Enrage the idiots who espouse this sort of bs, and get them to publicly expose themselves for who they are so they can be further ridiculed into obscurity :)

  • Fantomex

    Oh God, really? It’s satirical–a joke. Not real. if anyone’s a “dummy” here, it’s you. Go see a shrink about your utter lack of sense of humor. While you’re at it, retake that freshman English class you failed.

  • MaslowK

    “The Quran & the muslims who /truly/ understand it realise that Islam is NOT a peaceful religion.”

    The same could be said about christianity & their bible, yet the majority of christians don’t follow Numbers 31:17-18 literally. The issue isn’t that religion somehow forces people to do terrible things; it’s that terrible people use religion as an excuse to do terrible things.

    That said, letting religious beliefs based on bronze age myths intermingle with modern day politics certainly isn’t doing the muslims any favors. We can only hope we never see the same thing happen with christianity in the US.

  • Dannymac

    who told you that Alex Jones? DERP

  • Dannymac

    WHOOOOOOOOOAH FUCK YEAH ‘MERICA!!

  • R Lee Urbanski

    Too bad most of you left wing morons wish it was true..

  • R Lee Urbanski

    Hello it’s fake news

  • R Lee Urbanski

    Peaceful religion! what a joke you need to get you’re fact’s straight dude. If you don’t believe their way then they want you dead. Does that sound peaceful I don’t think so.

  • Nicole Ar

    I think that the text is just an arabic font in word or paint added on to a layer of photoshop, nothing as fancy as what you describe. You caught it because you are Israeli and probably know some arabic (my Israeli Hebrew teacher knew some arabic, too), most Jews might even get that, but most people don’t think about the fact that other languages are read right to left. I read a book called Aleph through the looking glass, and it explained people used to write like you mow a lawn: you turn around when you finish a line and then write in the opposite direction.

  • Jeffrey Harrell

    it probably isn’t that hard, it’s just that no one gives a fuck..

  • http://www.qlineorientalist.com/Evan QLineOrientalist

    THANK YOU!

  • Backgammon

    We know this is a spoof because if Obama could have his own flag, it would have his photo on it.

  • fuck you

    it’s different because that’s the biological and social norm that’s been dominant for centuries. what the original person said is welcoming and caring? what you faggots are saying is that if a person CHOSE to be gay, that would be wrong?

  • Albert Einstein

    oh did u go to college? DAE atheism?

  • 1234

    No wonder I couldn’t read it. It never even occurred to me to read it left to right

  • nikki

    i call bull sh*t!

  • Jo Ker

    Viva la Cuba !!! ? :-)

  • Jo Ker

    For your nick, did actually mean to type “qwerty123″ but somehow slipped on the keys?

  • Joey Žaba Sabey

    Wow… That has gotta be my ‘something new every day’ for today… Any links to anything about this online, or will I have to track down this book? =d

  • Joey Žaba Sabey

    Yes, because the left wing of America think only six states are important and want to declare Shariah law.

  • Joey Žaba Sabey

    God, was I supposed to be reading tabloids as -fact-?!

  • Joey Žaba Sabey

    Do you ‘choose’ to like the taste of chocolate? Or is it just something that you have just always liked?

  • Bojorco

    Oh dear god, it’s a satire website! Did you really have to furrow your brow and go all “Mr. Serious Pants” on us here?

  • Rly

    Back off, Frenchie. Or we’ll nuke you like we did back in the dubyadubyatoo.

  • floppy waffle

    What’s a LIBARAL?

  • Splendid

    Why are you all so stupid.. I have no more faith in this country if i have to share it with you..

  • Joey Žaba Sabey

    Wait, -I’m- the stupid one here? =P

  • Cordell Whittle

    If you look up “boustrophedon” you can find out about the alternating direction script. : )

    Also I recommend to everyone “The History of English Podcast” by Kevin Stroud, which is free and well produced, and begins with many episodes about historical linguistics and the transmission of literacy.

  • Barbara

    I think he should be kicked out and all his cronies and his flag go with him
    This is America not Kenya! Send them all back to HIS HOME Country…PERIOD!!!

  • Barbara

    Stick around and you just might be surprised exactly what you see on here>

  • Barbara

    Guest, I do not believe it is a satire site……

  • Guest

    (Y)

  • Hellfighter William Jackson

    Now that was not very P.C. of you, wait let me reply to THIS for you, “WHO GIVES A F#%K”.

  • soledo

    Over five thousand years
    ago, Moses said to the children of Israel
    ,
    “Pick up your shovels, mount
    yourASS’S and camels, and
    I will lead

    you to the Promised Land.”

    Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt
    said,

    “Lay down your shovels, sit on yourASS’S, and light up a Camel, this

    is the Promised Land.”

    Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed yourASS’S, raised the

    price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

    I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the

    economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement

    funds, Twitter and bitcoin bubbleMarijuana, etc ….
    So I called a Suicide Hotline.

    I had to press 1 for English.

    I was connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was
    suicidal.

    They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck!

    HAPPY NEW
    YEAR 2014

  • effingreat

    Oh you’re so clever! I bet you were so proud to finish your little piece of contribution to the comments here. I’m sure you had a chuckle or two, out loud, as you finished each mindless meandering. How’s life in your mother’s basement these days?

  • captain_pudding

    Actually it’s “Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatu” Common misconception.

  • captain_pudding

    I honestly can’t tell if you’re a troll or just a moron. That’s the sign of a good troll, so kudos to you if so.

  • captain_pudding

    No, because tabloids often claim to be real news. The Daily Currant will be the first to tell you that they’re a satirical publication.

  • captain_pudding

    John, you could easily shut up all these naysayers if you would just chose to be gay for a few months just to show them that it’s a choice. Like all you’d really have to do is blow a few guys and they’d all have to agree with you that it’s really just a choice.

  • captain_pudding

    There’s a difference between choosing to be straight and realizing you’re straight.

  • captain_pudding

    I know you’re not very bright but just an FYI; Hawaii is an American state.

  • tb

    11 And I saw 1aanother beast coming up out of the 2earth, 16 And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the freemen and the slaves, to be given a amark on their right hand or on their bforehead,

  • http://www.movies-suck.com/ Wastrel Way

    It is not legal in those states, either. It is regulated. It is still illegal to grow, import, transport, and sell pot the way that people have for generations.

  • W. Pinkham

    Yes. There’s no room for sarcasm in response to satire.

  • andy

    The backside, duh.

  • Rook King

    In reality, Obama is against marijuana legalization. He has flat out said it on video. In fact, Obama took the U.S. to a record level of war on drugs spending. He was against gay marriage for most of his first term, the one in which he kept the Iraq War going almost the entire time. Obama escalated the war in Afghanistan and the drone program, he signed the continuation of the Patriot Act, and he signed the NDAA, making it legal for the federal government to hold U.S. citizens indefinitely and even kill them without a trial. All of those things go against liberalism. It amazes me that liberals still take this totalitarian’s side knowing what they know about him now. Obama is not a liberal. He is Bush on steroids. Open your eyes.

  • Rook King

    A conservative who talks about change.

  • Al Eng

    No sense of humor you liberals. But that’s because you see all that you dreamed of falling apart before your very eyes. That’s gotta hurt!

  • deez nutz

    How’s life getting banged by a goat thrice weekly, cha cha?

  • Walter

    the Arabic text written from left to right? Of course i don’t expect much cause i t is silly American fake and we know that Americans have even the big problem with English

  • justin

    Says the person who reads a satirical story as real.

  • cochise1

    It is indeed a satire site. What makes this flag piece so funny is that if Obama got the power, he might actually do something similar..

    Let’s please not give him any ideas….

  • Fredtx

    As sad of shape as our government and economy is in, and knowing there are still 2 more years of this ludicrous politician in the White House, I can’t laugh at this. Maybe in 5-10 years I might, but I know what my future generations are inheriting from this “Socialist ” movement and the destruction associated with the disrespect for the US constitution. Further any elected official has historically proven they won’t fix bad government, but try to use it to remind you why you shouldn’t vote for the other party who instituted it. Sorry, just not funny right now!!

  • Мельнічук

    Nice, the words don’t even connect. It looks like gibberish.

  • mister alter

    How dare you utter the black speech here!

  • captain_pudding

    They don’t have humour in your country, do they?

  • Patrick

    i would like to understand more of what you are saying about the Aleph. I actually started researching more about this book today. Very ironic for me that I just read this post.

  • disqus_QyInro4hdW

    This story is fabricated by these people on The Daily Currant. There is no FACT to this story AT ALL…j00Z r 4LL //R0||$

  • Dana Mr White

    LOL this website is full of BS

  • DIAMOND CHIC

    this isnt true, i hate gossip sites

  • Kenn

    What if I wanna print in arabic? Do the letters still have to be attached?

  • henrybowman

    Vermont???

  • Joe

    More like Colorado.

  • TeMpEsT

    Here read this,
    flesruoykcufog

  • Johnny Ribena

    “I don’t eat junk food, I eat american food.” That is the single funniest thing I have ever read on this site!

  • Colorado

    We didn’t want the pot! We wanted the tax revenue were promised tax collections in abundance. Our un-employed banded together with students to push this through. Now we have problems galore and no tax revenue to correct them. Moral of story: You cannot tax effectively what can grown and consumed in someone’s backyard for free. For pot heads in neighboring states this problem is all good news cause Colorado has become a local supplier to all states adjoining us. Signed “Colorado”

  • deathtobanannas

    if this was reddit i would give you gold.

  • henrybowman

    No, Colorado actually bit back. I would have named New Jersey.

  • guest

    How did you EVER find your way to The Daily Currant ???

  • guest

    Seriously ? No WONDER this country is in the shape it is… Stay home on election day, please…

  • AwakenedAngryAmerican

    But. It is correct in only this way: “The United States of America”
    All other ways are incorrect.

    (But the intent of this parody is SPOT-ON. Kudos)

  • AwakenedAngryAmerican

    Use a typewriter or word processing. Save ink and trees.

  • AwakenedAngryAmerican

    Can you close the door behind you on the way out? Thank you.

  • AwakenedAngryAmerican

    I don’t think Washington and Colorado want to destroy this nation. You are incorrect in the real world. As well as in the world of satire.

  • AwakenedAngryAmerican

    That was heavy.

    Thanks for bringing me back to reality. You killed my enjoyment-buzz that this masterpiece gave me.

  • powerbase

    Keep them coming, soledo! Maybe you get a job writing for the DailyCurrant?

  • Irv Spielberg

    Government-Approved Illegals !

    Speaking of illegals,
    the government hasn’t built the border fence high enough to keep out the
    un-American criminals who want to take away our freedoms.
    Yes,
    the government hasn’t built the White House fence high enough to keep
    out the un-American criminals who are now inside the White House and
    working hard to take away the religious, social, and economic freedoms
    of true Americans!
    Here are two slogans that Obama would rather
    not think about: “Unborn babies should have the right to keep and bear
    arms – and legs and ears and eyes, etc.!” and “Unborn babies should have
    the same right to be born alive that abortionists had!”
    If
    Obama would Google “Dangerous Radicals of the Religious Right,” do you
    think he’d feel guilty merely walking in the hallowed halls of that
    House where true Americans walked?
    Is it safe to assume that Mecca Wafers are Obama’s favorite candy? And is barack-coli a vegetable or a disease?

    (For more on Obama in Washingdumb, Google “Obama Avoids Bible Verses”
    and “WHITE HOUSE-GROWN TERRORISTS starring Obaba Black Sheep….”)

  • Richardson McPhillips

    are you seriously this pathetic?

  • Richardson McPhillips

    Hmmm. You make me think. Does he really have the “constitutional right” to fly this “flag”? Perhaps you could look it up for us and report back again.