Obama Plans Tax on Country Music

Nov 13, 2012

Sources close to President Obama's inner circle say the recently reelected Democrat is planning to impose a heavy tax on country music to help close America's gaping budget deficit.

According to a top official at the White House's Office of Management and Budget the proposed 35% tax on sales of country albums and profits of country radio stations could bring in over $1.3 billion a year.

OMB acting director Jeffrey Zients says the new levy - tentatively named the Country Music Tax (CMT) - is designed to recoup revenues from conservative red states, most of which receive more federal spending dollars than they send to Washington in taxes:

"The president feels that if conservatives are so worried about the budget deficit, then its time for them to chip in. Roads and bridges aren't free, even in Georgia. If they want to keep reaping the benefits of the federal government, then they have to start paying their fair share."

On the Georgia Asphalt...

According to a draft document, half of the revenue generated from the tax will go towards closing the deficit. The other half will go to distributing free gangsta rap music to elementary schools in the South as part of a 'cultural diversity' program managed by the Department of Education.

"We think every Southern child should learn about Tupac and Biggie,' says Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, "It's an important part of American history."

The new tax will require Congressional approval to move forward, but Zients says Obama is committed to forcing Congress' hand on the issue:

"The Country Music Tax is not negotiable. Any deal to avoid the fiscal cliff must include the both the AMT and the CMT."

  • SergeantMajorette

    This is a win-win: either they pay the tax, or they fire the singers. I like it. Make it so.

  • Good idea, everyone pays their share and each person wont have to pay as much or pay for others

  • Harbinger08

    Brace yourselves for the flood of comments from outraged southerners who don’t know satire when they see it. Actually, they ought to be pretty funny.

  • Rough Tongue

    OMG I am rolling

  • John

    What about the GAC tax?

  • Eddie Coyle

    hmmm a year goes by… no flood, not even a trickle. Generalize much?

  • Harbinger08

    It’s satire, fool. Inability to understand subtle humor is one of the hallmarks of the weak-minded. That why we laugh at you.

  • Eddie Coyle

    I laugh at keyboard tough guys that hurl insults they’d never say face to face. The internet is a haven for mice such as yourself. You took a swipe at stereotypical southerners and fell flat on your face.

  • Harbinger08

    Listen to you. Taking it personally, are we? You’re the internet blowhard who showed up to shoot his mouth off a year late. FYI, rightwing crackpots who flock to comment sections to troll with phoney outrage and genuine ignorance is so common it’s a cliche. You, for instance. Have at it, then. Two replies to trolls on old joke articles is my limit.

  • Eddie Coyle

    right wing? you sure do love to generalize, and you are wrong…again. You must be used to it by now.