Message From God Found Hidden Inside DNA Sequence

Feb 01, 2013

imagesResearchers at Harvard University announced today that they have found what appears to be a message from God written inside the human genome.

In a little-explored section of non-coding DNA, a team of top geneticists discovered a 22-word snippet of ancient Aramaic in which God confirms his existence and his role in creating life on Earth.

The stunning finding represents nearly irrefutable evidence of God's existence and his role in creating the process of evolution by natural selection.

The message was discovered when researchers noticed strange mathematical patterns appearing within a certain section of the genome.

smallgod

For Heaven's Sake

"We knew the patterns weren't naturally occurring," explains Charles Watson, the lead scientist on the project, "but we couldn't come up with any convincing explanation for them.

"On a whim,  we started cross referencing the patterns with language databases," he explains, "and we were shocked to find that the patterns corresponded to ancient Aramaic."

Stunned by its discovery, the team contacted language experts familiar with Aramaic - the language Jesus Christ spoke in daily life.

Entirely decoded, the message reads: "Hello my children. This is Yahweh, the one true Lord. You have found creation's secret. Now share it peacefully with the world."

Yahweh is the biblical name for the Judeo-Christian god.

Inherit The Earth

The findings will be published in the journal Nature next month, and are expected to provoke the biggest scientific controversy since Charles Darwin published his theory of natural selection in 1859.

"This doesn't mean that the theory of evolution is wrong," says Watson.  "It's just incomplete. It seems that in reality the Judeo-Christian god actually started the whole process.

"And instead of just telling us about natural selection, he left a hidden signature that we could find 200,000 years later when we invented the right technology. It makes total sense really.

"Before this discovery I was a committed atheist. Now I'm a devout Christian. This is exactly the kind of proof I needed to ease my doubts."

In addition to its profound impact on science, the news is set to revolutionize the world of comparative religion.

"I think the message clearly indicates that God wants us to co-exist peacefully with our fellow human beings," says Janice Taylor, a bishop in the Anglican Church.

However, other Christian denominations have a different interpretation of the scientists' findings.

"Clearly this means our God is the one true God and that we should exterminate rival religions," says Frank Page, leader of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention. "Now that we have truth on our side, I think it's time we start a new crusade."

  • BoMo

    Awww… will he still claim his copyright after all those years and all this mess???

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Jones/1684320016 Will Jones

    The Creator is It, not “he.”

  • namvetted68

    Elohim prefers you use the correct name and not the later bastardized translation . Those Harvard guys got that wrong. What else did they screw up? Sheesh.

  • Richard Neal

    “Elohim” (Gods) is the plural of the singular Akkadian word “El” (God)…These scientists are very clear in that the name – the famous Tetragrammaton, or Yahweh (“to be”) – they found is in Aramaic, not the more ancient Akkadian name for God (El) which you refer to…So, in essence, the scientists are 100% accurate and it is you who are completely wrong…It was long after the Akkadian period that El (God) revealed his name, Yahweh, to Moses. Re-read Genesis again and stop simply regurgitating what some heretical teacher has written…Sheesh!…

  • namvetted68

    It was a spoof, dude. Just like the this blog. Get a grip.

  • yhwh

    Citation please.

  • Mark Wilson

    Interesting discussion here, and links therein, about the possibility of evidence that might convince us there is a God of the Judeo Xian or some other sort…http://old.richarddawkins.net/articles/531607-it-s-like-he-was-reading-my-mind

  • http://www.facebook.com/Proudtohaveausername Leonid Schneider

    Were Douglas Adams still alive, he would now die laughing….

  • Franck Desire

    I think you really need to re-read your bible again because all these name: god, jehovah, elohim and whatever you call him are not the real name of the creator of earth and heavens. Read Exodus 3 from verse 15 (LEB) versions. It’s written my people are perishing by lack of knowledge. My brother we were blind all by these name which have been given but the heavenly father who has never sleeps continue to reveal is true love to us. One question you must ask yourself is: who wrote the bible? because to tell you the truth, none of the disciple of the Christ (Yeshua) has. Stay bless.
    To namvetted68

  • m

    once again a scientist tried to manipulate peoples beleives for a few dollars shame on him .harvard is the satanic place

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1651718219 Mary Ann Overbaugh

    Imagine this….there is only one God….now what is there left to fight about?

  • http://www.facebook.com/robert.wolfe.140 Robert Wolfe

    Hmm, wonder what they might find if they applied some of Tolkien’s alphabets? He was after all, a linquist. Only one, as in Eru? Only one, we all agree, it’s only a matter of symantics. I myself abhor the gutteral language of Aramic. Used to work amongst a bunch of Yemenis and I felt like Sam and Frodo listening to Orcs talk.

  • dave

    its just god in another launauge. he had many names look that up

  • AmazedHuman

    If this proves to be true, there are lots and lots of people who need to get straight with God in a big hurry!

  • FacistScientistsSuck

    err, is this worth any further reasoning… nah !

  • FacistScientistsSuck

    lets see Harvard you say? Yaewah you say? from Isreal’s bitch USA you say? i’m more akin to think not about this highly suspicious findings

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Glammeyer-Medcoff/1095061265 Karen Glammeyer Medcoff

    “I think it’s time we start a new crusade” PLEASE NO! the last ones wiped out a shitload of innocent people in the name of god and his teachings Lest we forget the malleus malefecarum!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rosa.lopes.1029 Rosa Lopes
  • Kidlan

    Imagine the following: there is no god. What is there to fight about?

  • Kidlan

    Aside from the fact that this claim is quite ludicrous, I think if this story were true, it would’ve made top news at some point. Stop making up bullshit that the ignorant will attempt to use in their ill-founded arguements.

  • just someone

    Maybe somewhere or some part of our DNA can be decoded as “Any illegal copy, modification, alternation or equivalent thereto will be deemed as violation of divine domain” ….

  • Kidlan

    I’m also pretty sure the author is just trying to make a funny in some way. But people will believe this stuff, it’s best not to give them assistance in being ignorant.

  • CREATARDKILLER

    A HOAX OF COURSE..
    NO CHARLES WATSON ON HARVARD…
    NOW FOR THE RELIGIOUS RETARDED FUCKTARDS AMONG U
    BAD LUCK !!!
    HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR

  • disqus_QHTeIBmOMD

    我的妈呀,这让佛教徒情以何堪呀

  • DNA

    if there is no god, humans being will try to create their own Gods and fight for whose God is the greatest. period.
    However if there is only one true God that precedes all humans, then people should just surrender and live in peace and harmony

  • sammyxhuang

    西方佬天天說要民主,但是他們卻信仰最大的獨裁者——耶穌。這個恐怖分子獨裁者的主張包括:我是唯一的真理,我說了的才算數,別人必須信仰崇拜;信仰我的人,必須按我說的生活,不可以有任何違背我的意志和思想;敢反對我的人,我就燒死他們;爲了推廣我的主張,可以殺死所有不信仰我的人,所以我的信徒可以發動十字軍東征的戰爭;如果大家都不崇拜信仰我了,我就毀滅世界!!!!

  • 这种算什么信息!

  • Deborah

    Atheists get ot of this one!

  • Tzicross

    good, now science can blend with the truth and not avoid it!!

  • James the Least

    What in “share it peacefully” was so hard for the SBC to understand?

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.williams.9809 Daniel Williams

    “By breaking seals and opening case, you hereby void your warranty – no refund will be given when you reach heaven”

  • http://twitter.com/NCLowe76 Nick Lowe

    This is a satirical site

  • http://www.facebook.com/goodsoundguy Jonathan Gourd

    The whole comparison to linguistic databases part is way too vague. How did they convert the DNA strands to text that could then be compared to Aramaic? Anybody can look at a double helix and say that it means something, it doesn’t make it true, it just means that someone said it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1846326981 Christopher Anyone

    Imagine this. Planet Earth is your god. Protect her with your very essence.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trista.blue.eyes Trista Brattin

    Uh…did you see the other ‘Top Stories’ on this site? “CNN reports Barack Obama has resigned” “Pope Benedict comes out as gay” This is a satire site. It means it isn’t posting factual things. Goodness. This didn’t really happen. There is no message from anyone in DNA.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1619460593 Bob Lippman
  • hesh

    “if there is no god, humans being will try to create their own Gods and fight for whose God is the greatest” – Isn’t that whats happening right now?

  • Martin E

    Obviously you don’t understand what satire is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/prophetian.profeet Prophetian Man

    God..? is that you?

  • http://www.facebook.com/prophetian.profeet Prophetian Man

    You actually checked his pants?

  • http://www.facebook.com/tylar.akana Tylar Akana

    The thing that baffles me is that people still believe that there’s this invisible wall between all mono-theistic religions. Yahweh is a name, just like Allah is a name. Human’s use names in different languages to identify significant things. Two different words in two different languages can still mean the same thing. I believe that there was a single consciousness that started creation and life as we know it, which is an experiment. Trials and errors, to see what works and what doesn’t. I call this view post-Darwinism.

  • Eos

    and along the rest of the stories on this site, I guess Bieber really does have a weird tiny penis too!!

  • Dallas

    This is a SATIRICAL SITE- for all those of you taking it as a serious proof of God… how the actual fuck did you honestly buy this? Geez. Are you that desperate?

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    Wow… You believed this?

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    I hope that was sarcasm

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    Nope… Just a joke.

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    Its a joke dude. Just a joke…

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    Or, it could all be a joke on a satirical site…

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanhmcanna Sean McAnna

    Its satire. The joke is that this will never happen, because there’s no god…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Thomas-Hildebrand/615842334 Thomas Hildebrand

    Thus says The Lord: The God of Israel is dead in their eyes! The Salvation of God has no part with them!… Unless I change and become like them, unless I bow down and give heed to their demands, that I altogether conform to their image.

    Open your eyes! Cast yourselves down!

    Let your hearts melt before The Holy Fire!

    Embrace My Purifying Flame.

    My dying children! YOU ARE THE LAST GENERATION!

    The last of these kingdoms of men

    Hear The Word of YHWH!! TrumpetCallofGodonline . com

  • Shang Tsung

    lol.
    the heights some people take in order to convince others. I suppose
    every other animal also has a secret message written in their ancient
    dialect. I wonder what message was written on dog’s dna or better yet
    the dna of a plant?

  • ZAMZAM

    hahahahahah these people they realy do not know any more where to hold on too, all this is long stated in the noble quran since 1400 and more years ago!!!!! oooh please people our true religioun is to strong for you soo now you guys wants to bring something up for the stupid and ignorant ones top go after you pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeee, just pick-up the noble quran and this beautiful book will teach you soooooo much about science and the human body etc. etc etc. GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK YOU FOOLS!!!!!

  • Shamn

    This is not true .Its fabricated .They clam that mathematical patterns !!! they translated mathematical cod to old Jewish language?its just a new Legend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vodkarosee Cecille Alamag

    i wish they show the original 22-word Aramaic script that they discovered and not only the 22-word English translation.. I wanna see if the tetragrammaton YHWH is in there…

    I wonder also how these patterns appear in the introns, is it in a single intron or several introns… science oh science….

  • http://www.facebook.com/tom.chatterton Tom Chatterton

    Welcome my children to co creator stewardship! From here on out, you are on your own!

  • http://www.facebook.com/musidom Musidom Duma

    maybe this was all made up to get people to convert to christian….all i hear in these posts is….i’m going with god now,cause this is absolute proof….even some of these comments could be generated,like they do on download sites….just to give you a virus….unless you have seen it with your own eyes…still believe only half of it.none of you have seen the dna…and none of you know if it was doctored…..never jump into things,without testing the waters first…blind faith will destroy us all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/musidom Musidom Duma

    dont believe everything you read…the bible for instance….just cause some old scrolls were found…doesnt make it true….people bullshitted back then too.people also told stories from one guy to the next….and everytime the stories loose their meanings….be spiritual …dont let a religion control you

  • http://www.facebook.com/musidom Musidom Duma

    we just are no god no satan just we….we created this earth

  • http://www.facebook.com/musidom Musidom Duma

    i agree sean mcanna…everyone jumps in without looking where they are jumping and thats a sure way to fuck your life up.

  • 苍白的人

    真假? 求科普….

  • 苍白的人

    为啥留下的不是中文呢…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001698856460 David Gillum Sr.

    Mary Ann, there has always been “the only true God.” John 17:3 Never should anyone fight about the truth, but be humble and accept what is written in his word, the Bible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001698856460 David Gillum Sr.

    “The senseless one has said in his heart: “There is no Jehovah.” They have acted ruinously, they have acted detestable in their dealing..There is no one doing good. As for Jehovah, he has looked down from heaven itself upon the sons of men, To see whether there exists anyone seeking Jehovah.” Psalms 14:1,2 A person has the right to believe whatever they wish, but, in reality, there are only two choices; life and death. Deuteronomy 30:19,20 The same choices that the first human pair had. They just made the wrong choice, now they are dead.

  • Michael

    We will all find out after you die. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. (Of All)….

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark3069 Mark Cochran

    “Before this discovery I was a committed atheist. Now I’m a devout Christian. This is exactly the kind of proof I needed to ease my doubts.” — Charles Watson

    Not unless you have repented of your unbelief in the biblical record that God gave of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, confessed to God that you are a sinner, and received the Blood of Jesus Christ as the atonement for your sin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lori.portermeinert Lori Porter Meinert

    Well don’t most artists sign or hide their initials in the painting. So not so far fetched in my eyes….This is why we have been given the freedom of right and wrong and what we believe. Blessed are those who believe without seeing….

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=659836318 Stephen Peele

    wow what a comment from the Southern Baptists, we can revel in the truth but GOD is well able to fight for Himself…tone that down some…

  • Me Too

    Whether a truth or lie….What is the first thing the so called “religious” leaders have to say? “We should “exterminate” all the other religions?” I guess they missed the part about share it “PEACEABLY” with the world…

    Why can’t anyone get the message…Until we think of other people’s well being BEFORE ourselves, we will never advance, have peace and abundance nor inherit anything!

    It is mathematical fact…if you only take (receive) then you get exactly what you take, but if you give to everyone, then everyone gives in return and there is more than mega abundance of overflow…love and compassion are exponential in their growth patterns…all you need do is give of yourself and it will be returned to you astronomically…

    Love your fellow human being as yourself and forgive those who do you wrong!

  • denny

    exactly.

  • Lim

    will never happen can be happen
    Here is God

  • Plamen

    Well done to the scientists who made this discovery !!!

    Also I have message for Frank Page:

    After more than 2000 years and you people still don’t get it !?

    NO MORE crusades.we are all ONE with Creator,with the Holy Spirit !!!

    the sooner you get this the sooner you’ll see it.

    Amin

  • Boob9328547

    I didn’t need a proof to believe in God.

  • LydiaProschinger

    Frank Page, what part of peacefull did you not understand?

  • LFC05

    This is a satirical website, this is not true…come on people.

  • Barra

    Is this a joke that God spoke”Aramaic.”then?.I wonder what language God Speaks now?.

  • Hard Truth

    Your point, There’s only one true God accept it or leave.

  • Richard

    Yep I agree religion sucks big time I personally hate it. Here’s the thing Jesus also hates it He wants us to have a personal relationship with Him that’s the difference He LOVES you.

  • Matthew O.

    In these 22 words, there is enough evidence that they are authentic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/juan.nuevo Juan Nuevo Alemany

    I gess this other ‘cassuality’ is insignificant also. please link

    http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/l/laminin.htm#.UY_k8oJq0tE

  • SonFollower

    The Baptists want to DESTROY all other religions? Start a NEW crusade? WOW like that is a REAL loving Godly plan!

  • maria

    If you see a painting on a wall, did it just get there or was there a painter who painted it. Do buildings just appear in thin air or were there men putting labor into it and constructing it. You did not see them do it, but you know they did because the building is there. You did not have to be there and watch them build it to know this. So why is it so hard for you to believe that a creator, made the earth and the water and the very air you breathe. Just cause you did not see him do it, does not mean it’s not true…Logically thinking if you think of the Big bang theory??? Have you ever seen an explosion that created anything at all. Picture an explosion in your head? What do you see??? Destruction, NOT CREATION. It’s a deception THEY want you to believe so you don’t know the truth… That GOD does really exist. They want to justify their sin by eliminating GOD all together and they want you to fall into their same trap. The Bible also is filled with over 2,000 prophecies that Jesus foretold. Over 1600 have come true with exactness. That is not coincidence, a coincidence would happen maybe 1 time, but 1600 exact predictions of future events?? My friend it is you who are being bullshitted into believing there is no GOD. JESUS is not religion. Religion was created by man not JESUS. Just another deception from THEM who have you in the dark, not knowing the TRUTH that will set you free! Good luck I suggest you stop believing what they tell you on TV and in Schools and start some research on your own. May GOD show himself to you, whatever his true name is.

    Peace be with you!

  • maria

    What is his true name then?

  • joe

    though this is total b.s, no such thing was found..we have 26000 genes while yhwh is 26 numerically….The Egyptian god Tho wrote the bible…thats why Tho Rah….the letter Tho is the last Hebrew letter and its writen the letters Tho and Wow whose value is 46 (chromosomes)…tho is the first letter in Torah and the last in the hebrew letters’i ate first and the last’ yes god left signs…but not the one this b.s story tells……theoriginoflanguage.com

  • Bits

    There is only one God and He is the only living God

  • Victorian

    Wait is this legit I can’t tell

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Jensen/1296186909 Mark Jensen

    Is this story from one of those magazines that can’t even afford color ink? You know, the ones at the grocery store with a poorly photoshopped picture of an alien eating godzilla ?

  • godismyhoe

    If there’s no god who spins the table in a microwave huh?
    Christans :1 atheists :0

  • http://www.facebook.com/doris.s.edwards.1 Doris Stones Edwards

    “The Daily Currant”,…shouldn’t it be the Daily Current? Hmmm, and no author named or listed as the writer of this article is suspect to me. I will add the quote by the supposed Frank Page, ” “Clearly this means our God is the one true God and that we should
    exterminate rival religions,” says Frank Page, leader of the
    conservative Southern Baptist Convention. Now that we have truth on our side, I think it’s time we start a new crusade.” Well, he’s made to sound pretty much like a religious radical to me, and he’s ready to exterminate rival religions and get a new crusade going!? I think the ghost author is targeting and slandering specific people, and the Southern Baptist Convention church if either even exists? Perhaps, ‘Religion’ period, is his/her real target and subject of this mockery? Anyway, the best clue here, is to scan just above the comments and look at ‘the titles’ under: “You might also like”,…and LOL! this site is merely a joke gone real bad. It basically clues you in that there is NO CREDIBILITY in this site at all or their ridiculous stories. :)

  • Steven

    Judeo-Christian is an oxymoron. You idiot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/marcelina.melendez Marcelina Melendez

    iBeautiful!!! I trust my God: Jehova is His name.
    Jesus His Son is the Way,
    and the HOLY SPIRIT is His Spirit of power and wisdon that keep us in the right way.
    Open your eyes and your mind and see what HE has for you: Just BELIEVE and you can see HIS glory…for His glory.

  • Agnostic

    Have you ever seen anything created?!?!? Instead of your strawman argument, why don’t you actually take the time to educate yourself on evolution and the Big Bang?

  • Oh God! Oh God!!!

    It’s simply stunning how frugal God was with mentality when He created the meatsticks that actually take this article seriously. It’s The Daily Currant, you fucktard! If they reported the sky was falling, would you break out your umbrella, too? Dumbass…

  • opposed one

    Or… “Only new white materials have been used in the construction of this quilt. Removal is Illegal and punishable by a minimum $10,000 fine and 100 years in a Federal Prison.”

  • oppressed one

    Oh no. YOu took it seriously. Oh well; there’s always one out there, huh guys?

  • The Current Bun

    You have to be so careful with satire these days. Most people now accept that the bible was a hoax, written by some mischievous aramaic philosophy students, but tell that to Ian Paisley!

  • Truth Serum

    Charles Watson is the lead expert on the subject nowhere in the article did it say he worked for Harvard. “Before this discovery I was a committed atheist. Now I’m a devout Christian. This is exactly the kind of proof I needed to ease my doubts.”

  • FYI

    The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide – now including South Sudan.

    Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence – which presses forward.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001449975788 David Junkins

    Frank Page, clearly is attempting to condemn himself and others using G-d as a banner for war and murder.

  • http://www.facebook.com/landonls Landon Shook

    profits you well have to use the old testament then we would stone people to death.

  • KittyKittyKit

    Frank Page really said that??? I find that hard to believe without more corroboration………….I’m NOT saying he didn’t say it, I just need more proof.
    Hey FRANK PAGE………….did you really say that????

  • DoingMoreWithLes

    I’ll be glad when you stupid fools learn to read.

    “The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide – now including South Sudan.”

    You do understand the definition of the word SATIRICAL?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Wheelsafire18 L Charles Burch

    From the article: “Clearly this means our God is the one true God and that we should exterminate rival religions,” says Frank Page, leader of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention. “Now that we have truth on our side, I think it’s time we start a new crusade.” ?????????? This is clearly a planted story to stir up more crapola. Hope you can post the “REAL” research next month, if there is any. Hint: Southern Baptists are not conservative as a whole. ;- )

  • http://www.facebook.com/Edenstone4 Rhonda Murray
  • http://www.facebook.com/jeremy.acton Jeremy David Acton

    What a load of crap.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=689669264 David Torres

    In related new, atheist across the world are being loaded in to busses and caravans. They are being transported to specially designed “concentration” camps for their ignorance and intolerance to what they call “nut-ball” religious factions.

  • http://www.facebook.com/drhoecker Dana Hoecker

    The findings will be published in the journal Nature next
    month, and are expected to provoke the biggest scientific controversy
    since Charles Darwin published his theory of natural selection in 1859.
    as i know you did not even read it

  • jusbreal

    I didn’t fynd dis artice on a satire site I found it on wt I thought was a legit page… Its sad wt people wt go thru ta confuse and trick otha people..I’m not even talkin bout da higher government control I’m talkin bout da bored peasants dat wanna put out false info cause dey think its funny haha.. not funny

  • Wtfman

    wtf is wt?

  • Wtfman

    Cientists found a suicide note written by the same Yahweh in the particles of an asteroid coming in the direction of Earth.

  • beo

    God states on the very FIRST page of the Bible that all
    life EXCEPT MAN – the Adamic race – came out of the sea
    (Evolution or Creation) – Genesis chapter 1 verse 20. Afterwards
    God CREATED (Adam) man, SEPARATELY, on the sixth
    day.

    Genesis 1:20 And God said, Let the WATERS
    bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and
    fowl [that] may fly above the earth in the open firmament
    of heaven.

    Before his death, Darwin acknowledged that there was a
    “missing-link” and he admitted that he was wrong about the Adamic
    Race having evolved from apes.

    If you want to know the REASON for The Creation and the
    REASON for human-life on Earth, read:- “The
    Way home or face The Fire”.
    JAH.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    No you are wrong…there are millions of us!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    No God= No Rule…fighting over the same ole stuff…oil and gold!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    Not at all! We are just worried about people like you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    He said he was a devout Christian, that includes DAILY repentance!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    You better read it and not listen to others! Everything it says will happen in the last days is happening in the same order the Bible says it will! Don’t believe me? Read it for yourself!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    I did take the time to educate myself, that is how I know, you didn’t! Because if you seek God, you WILL find him!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.schraider Jacob Schraider

    AMEN!!!

  • R>LEE

    AAMEN

  • R>LEE

    no your whole life will be a spoof until you get a grip!

  • Holly

    Hallelujah!!! Thank you Jesus! Thank you so much. I love you.

  • Silverthorn

    haha~

  • Mike Nelson Sr.

    Speak clear English not some bullshit you think is cool . you sound retarded when you speak like that or type like that ….

  • Laylan Maddison

    Notice how the message says “Yahweh” and not “GOD” Yahweh Is Elohim those who come from the sky they are human they made us in their image http://www.rael.org

  • renia

    I think another new religion explain this message the raelians :-)

  • gogg

    Even better. The individual named yawheh never said in his text that he was a god. If this article is true, it can only explain that we were created by something more technologicly advanced than us. Like a crazy scientist making a new race for his own amusement. Watching its growth and its development. And the time before this, we all thought there was a god. This can as well just explain that there is no god. Its just how you read it, and together with ure own understanding of the world, one conconcurs that must be the true meaning of the text.

  • Ozicell

    More likely a message left by an ancient geneticist who manipulated DNA who called himself Yahwey. If you wish to call that being God, then that’s your prerogative and you would be putting our modern day geneticists right up there with him!

  • singingcowboy674

    There’s so much real code out there that anyone with open eyes can figure it out. But this is a satire site. If it had of been an actual “hoax” it would have likely NOT appeared on a satire site. :)

    Now for the dumb assed, “winder” licker who calls us retarded fucktards, go smoke a salami. I’ll give you a sticker if you do. Now beat it kid. You bug me. :) HAR HAR HAR HAR. :)

  • singingcowboy674

    Your inferring that clothes are involved?

  • Daniëlle Zana
  • Daniëlle Zana

    Erm, Yahweh is an Eloha/Star Person/ET… not god…

  • Guest

    Then just live it… you have that right, just as others have the same rights to live what they have found to be true on their journey…religion they way is has evolved has become aggressive in its sharing with others. That is what is annoying about it…religion does not reflect the character of a just and loving God…it more paints a picture of government or an aggressive sales project…definatly does not mirror a group that is worried about souls…more about wallets and being “The biggest one on the block”…do you think this is what God ment to do?

  • annie

    i have a question why is baal = lord http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal

    yaweh is not his name either http://www.jesus-messiah.com/studies/yahweh-full-copy.html

  • Mohsin Youasf
  • ioan

    same bulshit as nasa found on mars message from god. This site suks!

  • promise

    who is elohim and wat do u mean by bastardized version

  • promise

    stop being foolish and be reasonable for once in ur sorry life

  • promise

    so u were formed from a particle …… moron

  • kozy

    Currant = a berry.
    Courant = a newspaper.

    The name of the site is “The Daily Currant”.

    That’ll be all.

  • borngreat

    The fool says in his heart| “there is not God”

  • godisdogbackwards

    Yeah, and who tells the thermometer what the temperature is. Blind Faith Idiots: 2 Atheists: 0

  • foo

    God does not need your help!

  • Daniel

    Chinese

  • You choose

    The freedom of choice. Right or Wrong we will all seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • black torch

    NOt dat I Dont belive in God, but this site always put up fake news, and thats really bad

  • Macabasa Calumpang Ellevera

    that’s not true because yahweh is not the real name of God…

  • Blaine Cooper

    Try 6,000 years ago, If it was 200,000 or even 100,000 year’s of our existence earth would be populated 100,000 people per square inch.

  • Blaine Cooper

    By the way everyone you do know the stories on this site are completely fictional, lol, Just click there about link.

  • Josh

    Well lets see. The article has no tone of satire in it, it is written as if completely legitimate (it’s like me telling you with a straight face that i think you’re a reasonable person, you’re gonna believe it because it’s what you’re inclined towards accepting, but it just so happens that i haven’t yet told you my straight face is masking a laughing mind). I for example, had not frequented this site before. The article was just a link i clicked on and without having read any comments or done any research i had no idea it was a satirical site because it is presented similarly to any real feed. So that’s how the fuck one might honestly buy this. So how about you hop off your high horse and lose some arrogance. That being said, any person who read this article should definitely read the corresponding comments section and do their own research before spreading it as ‘news’, otherwise that is very dumb and unfortunately some people have done that exactly.

  • omg
  • omg
  • Raja Ounissi

    except the fact that God does exist the rest is pure bullshit !
    stop underestimating our mental capacities to detect your lies please !

  • Raja Ounissi

    except the fact that God does exist the rest is pure bullshit !

    stop underestimating our mental capacities please to detect your lies !

  • fumat

    “Now Like it and Share it peacefully with the world.”

  • Michael Smith

    The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide – now including South Sudan.

    Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence – which presses forward.

    Q. Are your news stories real?

    A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world

  • kyle

    this has got to be satire….

  • noName

    Hmmmmm Charles Watson the non existent anonymous researcher from Harvard. That ranks with the Giant Gefilte fish sinks fishing trawler in the National Inquirer. And Obama was born in Hawaii. Notice the author of the article didn’t want to have his name associated with this baloney.

  • Old believer

    Nothing creates nothing or Something creates something Everything to a purpose. Something to everything much shorter distance and more likely true. Common sense. God created and Is, was, and will be, is more likely than not truth.

  • Emily ‘Wilbur’ Esser

    “…our God is the one true God and that we should exterminate rival religions,”
    Wow, you truly didnt get ANYTHING out of that discovery, you pretentious corrupt excuse of a human. Its clearly a statement that god is INSIDE ALL OF US and to spread the world of love to each other as we would to god- any god.

  • Lotron

    .. and no 72 Virgins at all …. dump

  • ozzythaman

    dailycurrant.com/science/

    see for yourself what kind of site this is

  • loaferoatan

    lol

  • Nise Myers

    hahaha true!!!

  • Moonshake

    This I CAN’T AGREE MORE.

  • Cryptinic26

    Sounds like any other day on Earth to me.

  • NeverAgain

    They are too busy to make Islam a big religion over here. They wont
    report this it might offend certain people. Don’t question God is what I
    believe in. It has been taken out of schools and images and religious
    symbols have been took down or if you put up a cross anywhere people
    want to start rallies to get it down.

  • Nora Patterson-Vance

    There’s nothing cool about looking uneducated Jusbreal.

  • Guest

    That would be because this is a satirical website, like The Onion.

  • Guest

    This is a satirical news website. It’s not real.

  • Guest

    Daily Currant=satirical website. NOT REAL

  • Guest

    Daily Currant=satirical news website. NOT REAL

  • Guest

    No one is trying to convince anyone of anything. Apparently no one in the comments section understands that The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. Everything on this website is made up to make us think a bit harder about current events. ITS NOT REAL

  • Guest

    The Daily Currant=satirical news website. It’s not real.

  • SLSK

    Who knows? They didn’t actually say any such thing. This is a satirical website; none of the stories are real. They are just meant to make us take a second look at current life. Politics, religion, etc.

  • SLSK

    It is fabricated. This is a satirical website. None of the stories are real.

  • SLSK

    Except that this is a satirical website. The whole article is made up.

  • SLSK

    It’s okay, it never happened. This is a satirical website; none of the stories are true.

  • SLSK

    I don’t know about Baptists in real life, but this story is made-up. The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. None of the stories are real.

  • SLSK

    No. The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. It’s not supposed to be real. Just like The Onion.

  • SLSK

    No; it’s from a satirical news website.

  • SLSK

    That’s because the whole article is made-up. It’s a satirical news website.

  • SLSK

    I don’t know if he is in real life or not, but this article is fake. This is a satirical news website; it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously

  • SLSK

    No, he didn’t. This is a satirical website. None of it is meant to be taken seriously

  • SLSK

    This isn’t supposed to be real research. This entire website is a satirical news website. Nothing on the site is real, and it’s not meant to be taken seriously. It’s all made up to poke fun at us and make us think.

  • SLSK

    Yeah, because this is a satirical website. Nothing on here is fact, and it’s not supposed to be.

  • SLSK

    Hold that thought. This is The Daily Currant. The satirical news website. All of the articles are made up to poke fun at us.

  • SLSK

    Don’t use this article as proof for anything. It’s totally made-up because The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. It’s not supposed to be taken seriously.

  • SLSK

    “the message” is fake. This whole website is satirical news. Just a thought.

  • SLSK

    Interesting thoughts, but this article isn’t true. This is a satirical news website. Nothing on it is true or meant to be taken as fact.

  • SLSK

    ummm…this website is not supposed to be taken as “real news”. The Daily Currant is a SATIRICAL NEWS WEBSITE. Okay? It’s NOT REAL.

  • SLSK

    It’s SUPPOSED to put up “fake news”-it’s a satirical website. Like The Onion.

  • SLSK

    No, it’s not true because this is a satirical website. Not actual news.

  • SLSK

    Sigh. They are not lying to you. The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. It doesn’t give “real news”, it makes up stories to make us think and provoke debates and/or laughter. IT’S NOT REAL

  • SLSK

    It is. The whole website is.

  • SLSK

    People, people, please!! The Daily Currant is a satirical news website, okay? None of the articles are real. They are fake; we are supposed to laugh and find it thought-provoking sometimes. It’s like the less-famous version of The Onion.

  • SLSK

    If something like this actually happened, I hope people like you would be in the majority. But never fear, this is a satirical news website! This article isn’t real and none of the others on this site are, either.

  • SLSK

    Yeah. Satirical. Like The Onion.

  • SLSK

    True, true! This article isn’t true, though-The Daily Currant is a satirical news website. No worries ;)

  • SLSK

    Okay, but just be aware this article and this entire website are satirical. Not true.

  • SLSK

    FYI the article isn’t real. The Daily Currant is satirical news.

  • SLSK

    The Daily Currant=satirical news website. Just a friendly reminder.

  • SLSK

    um. No. This entire website is satirical news. None of it is real.

  • SLSK

    Keep in mind this is a satirical website. The entire article and everything in it is FAKE. NOT REAL.

  • SLSK

    Good points! ;) FYI, this article isn’t real-it’s a satirical website.

  • SLSK

    The whole website is a satire. None of the news is real. It’s meant to poke fun at things.

  • SLSK

    Daily Currant=satirical news. Just so you know. It’s not meant to be taken seriously.

  • SLSK

    Not needed. The whole website is satire. Like The Onion.

  • SLSK

    Sorry to bother everybody. Just thought I’d let you all know (having just stumbled across this article myself) that this is a fake article. The entire website is satire.

  • Guest

    A current is a dried grape…..

  • GoneNative

    A currant is a dried grape…

  • http://quantum-cosmos.com/blog Daniel Garcia

    Yawn

  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mount-Shasta-Energy-Services/305074483863?ref=ts&fref=ts shastatodd

    lol!

  • Joybringer

    whats wrong with keepin yer opinions to yer self an lettin others express themselves in a way of which they find most comfortable?
    Why u wanna be a hateful condescending troll?

    For love’s sake >_<

  • JenniferEvette

    and no one has sued the daily currant? not yet I suppose

  • Chance Wayne

    Don’t worry about them, let them burn!!

  • omg

    JOKE?

  • Stuffed Llama

    In August 2013 the world as we knew it ended. To investigate more fully how this occurred, scientists of our age (1000 years on) recreated everything and everyone as best as the data permitted. This simulation is so near to perfect, that the test subjects actually believe they are real. Each time the collapse repeats itself each subject runs through the maze of Hobbsian choices they made, up to the bitter end. This data proves useful in modeling and avoiding such choices as we create Universes of our own. Please relax. It will make the simulation run more smoothly until the reset.

  • John Angst

    It says he is the one true lord, which is possible. What it doesn’t say is that Judeo-Christian faiths are the true faiths or that the Bible or even the Koran are accurate..

    I believe in a God that created all this but I don’t believe there is a book on Earth that properly explains it. Especially the Bible, man has tampered with that ‘word of God” for centuries through editing things we don’t even know now what USED to be there, to CERTAIN translation errors.

    Don’t forget Jesus is quoted by people writing it that never met him and never knew anyone that even knew him. Pretty hard to quote an event and meaning with something you never saw.

  • Beckysheep

    How awesome God can show himself…and are we sharing this with peace in mind? I can’t imagine most baptist wanting to exterminate ANYONE but FALSE teaching, but people are capable of hate.It is the gospel of peace.Neat find thanks.

  • Me

    Mr. Page, fighting has NEVER solved anything. Starting another crusade would only do more damage. Besides, he should know as a religious man that God and tries to teach tolerance, acceptance, respect, PEACE, etc. I mean itn’t one of the commandments ‘thou shalt not kill’.

  • James Russel

    I agree completely.

  • James Russel

    A GRAPE IS NOT A BERRY GET IT RIGHT

  • TheBigLittle

    It isn’t an error to fail to know, it only an error when we fail to love. You will never know everything Nora, so get use to being wrong.

  • Santa Geekie

    Looked for this in the journal Nature and found nothing, if you have posted this in that journal, please send the link

  • Anonymous

    The comments here are a stunning display of the breadth and class of the human species. The mutual respect, intelligent discussion, open mindedness, and overall tone of pursuit of achievement to the human species brings tears to my eyes.

  • Mark

    This is utterly false. There was no such discovery made. I hope all of you who are reading this site realize this.

  • Dr Barbara Young

    You will not find the DNA code in a mortal being, only an Immortal. The World is not living for the evolution of its own Spirit, society refuses to even believe iin the reality of a Spirit, your true state of being. So big problem, you are destroying the spirit’s memory that provides the health of your next life. The cause of Autism. Look at all the things you are doing to destroy your Spirit’s memory, drugs, Tasar, ECT, etc.

  • Dr Gbenga Elegbe

    I think God just want us to know that HE really exists and that HE started the whole process of human existence which science can now confirm since we believe more in natural than supernatural. Dr Gbenga Elegbe

  • Anastasia08

    First off, this website is completely satirical. You’re making yourself look even more like an idiot.

    Secondly, if you’re going to preach, it’s amen*.

  • asenaca

    GOD works in so many miracle ways…and we should always give him the honour to be his alone and no other……

  • candywatkins

    Not only I agree but I must add it’s time for everyone, Christians first and all mankind recognize all that’s in the Holy Bible is true and was inspired by God. Being convinced of these truths, it’s time to “sell out” and be obedient to all His commandments. Scientists at Harvard University findings in our DNA is one of the amazing discoveries that God will continue to reveal in these last days, hoping to convince the unbeliever He is the Creator of all things.

    Because God is the Creator, He knows all things, the ending from the beginning, he knows many unbelievers will not believe unless a sign is given. He really doesn’t have to prove anything but because of His love for mankind He wants to give every opportunity for the lost to come into the fold. THAT’S THE KIND OF GOD HE IS. HE’S A GOD OF LOVE –

    I believe that the Holy Bible is accurate inspired by the Holy Spirit and written by the Prophets of old. We are living in the time when all foretold prophecies is coming to past because we are living in the last day. We must hurry and make it right because according to prophecies, based on God’s Word, time is running out for this Gentile dispensation and Jesus is soon to come.

    WHY do I believe this? There are many prophecies that have already taken place that states in the Bible should occur before the return of the Lord and only a few more left. Nevertheless, if you do not know anything about these prophecies, there is one that is clearly revealed to even those that don’t read the Bible. That prophecy states in the Holy Bible (When the gospel is preached to every nation as a witness -THEN THE END SHALL COME.)

  • jholderbaum

    A currant is a currant.

  • GoneNative

    Yes, but if you don’t know what a currant is, you might just believe the story.

  • gabriel

    the daily currant pls answer my question the article
    “Message From God Found Hidden Inside DNA Sequence” is a true story or just a hoax ?

  • flippyed

    Politics, money, power, drugs, self pride, etc…

  • flippyed

    Politics, money, drugs, self pride, etc… God discourages fighting, but self pride and political parties abuse His name for a vain purpose. Hence “do not take the Lord yor GOD’s name in vain”.

  • flippyed

    No! Political parties with agendas use GOD as a tool because there is so much power in it.Anything of Great Power has the potentisl fo r abuse.

  • Sickofstupidpeople!

    What??!! If this is true …it says in the text from God PEACEFULLY! We don’t need to exterminate anyone for anything…except maybe for some crimes people commit….but definitely NOT FOR RELIGION! I don’t think that guy is understanding anything ANY God has said. Ugh the ignorance,stupidity and want for more violence WILL be the end of the world everyone’s talking about!

  • Scientist someone

    You are obviously not a scientist or anything even relatively close to it…

  • vlodko62

    NO WAY! God would never be so lame as to say “share it peacefully with the world.” No, He would tell us that we need to use this knowledge to smite the infidels, beginning with that Muslim heretic Obama!

    This is clearly a hoax – nothing in here about fighting socialism and repealing Obamacare, which after all are the key elements of Christianity in the 21st Century. This “love one another” thing only applies to other like-minded Christians, and is mostly just window-dressing anyway!

    Unless the guy from the Southern Baptist Convention is right, and it really is a coded message to exterminate rival religions (and those Christians who are misguided), then this is just a fraud perpetrated by godless scientists!

  • vlodko62

    Hmmm, maybe you want to consider a Modest Proposal to solve the overpopulation problem in Ireland.

  • vlodko62

    No, a raisin is a dried grape. Currants are a completely different fruit. Or fruitcake.

  • vlodko62

    No, a current is something that either electricity or a river might have. A currant is a kind of berry. A raising is a dried grape.

    Since when did humor or satire go together with illiteracy?

  • vlodko62

    Gee, CREATARDKILLER – did you check the Harvard website to figure out that this was satire? Very smart of you…

  • vlodko62

    Funny how those old testament tracts imply that there must have been atheists around even then… Maybe they were on to something?

  • devoted christian

    You people denying this are stupid. No it wouldn’t make headline news because it wouldn’t put all govt scientist out of business I contacted Harvard and they said it isn’t fake. Half of their scientist’s are atheist and are now devoted Christians. U need to wake up and realize that there is a god. Are you that dumb that when the evidence is put right in ur face urgonna blow it off like dirt on your shoulder? Wake up. Get saved and devote your life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

  • devoted christian

    Would*

  • Anita

    It says share peacefully but as I read all the comments I find it amazing how mean people are to one another when the idea of God is mentioned. What a cruel world it really is and thank you all for reminding me why I am truly ready for the end of days no matter what the outcome is to be.

  • Anne Nona Mooz

    Let me preface this by saying that yes, I do understand that this article was meant in satirical humor, nothing else. Now, I absolutely understand that not all people are religious, and not all religious people are Christians. To each his own. However, as a Christian myself, I don’t see how people can ask a particular religious group to scientifically prove their faith. That’s a contradiction. Now, stating that you believe in logic and therefore do not believe anything that cannot be proven through science and logic is fine. But there are atheists out there who really expect us to find some scientific proof of faith. I just don’t get that.

  • l0nelydreamer

    I knew it! Now what are people who believe in “evolution” going to think when the proof is rite in there own DNA? Time for them to switch religions from science to realty.

  • Medeeks

    The botanical definition of a berry is a fleshy fruit produced from a single ovary. Grapes are an example.

  • Courtney Space

    its kinda true for a satire site but the message is a tad bit different..cute story though. I wonder how many people post this and believe it? *sighs about lies*

  • D. S.

    You’re kinda hateful JOYBRINGER.

  • D. S.

    I’m never wrong. I am Yahweh.

  • D. S.

    Stop being racist.

  • D. S.

    Humor and satire go together in illiteracy when you spell raisin wrong.

  • D. S.

    I love when my tiny penis offends people.

  • D. S.

    Potato famine.

  • Nonyabizz

    Hey douchebag, He exhists. hes my uncle

  • Veronika Kostrnova

    For centuries, scholars have been debating the two main possibilities
    for the origin and meaning of life. Some aspire to a higher
    philosophical dimension, which they can’t find in the theory of
    evolution, while others dismiss as irrational any reference to an
    almighty god.
    But what if another theory, one both rational and with philosophical depth, were to be available?
    This is what the “Message” proposes: Thousands of years ago, scientists
    from another planet came to Earth and created all forms of life,
    including human beings, whom they created in their own image. References
    to these scientists and their work can be found in the ancient texts of
    many cultures. Due to their highly advanced technology, they were
    considered as gods by our primitive ancestors and often referred to as
    ‘Elohim’ which in ancient Hebrew meant ‘Those who came from the sky’.

    Despite being a plural word, Elohim was mistranslated over time to the singular ‘God’ reference that appears in modern-day Bibles.

    Nevertheless, these people who came from the sky (the Elohim)
    educated humanity through the ages with the help of various messengers
    (also called prophets) with whom they had made contact. Each messenger
    was given a message suitable for the level of understanding prevailing
    at the time, with the primary purpose of instilling basic principles of
    non-violence and respect.

    Once humanity reached a sufficient level of scientific understanding,
    the Elohim decided to make themselves more visible in UFO sightings and
    to conceive their final message.
    Rael was given two missions: spreading that last message on Earth
    and preparing an embassy to welcome the return of our creators.

    The atheist ‘Intelligent Design Theory’ offers a rational solution to
    the age-old debate between God-believers and evolutionists.
    It’s compatible not only with today’s scientific discoveries but
    also with the ancient historical accounts of all cultures.

    But don’t take our word for it. Read Intelligent Design – Message from the Designers for yourself and do your own research.

    We guarantee you’ll never look at the world the same way again!

  • annoyingorange

    “exists” just to annoy you. peace!

  • enlightenedslave

    2 things to say dna activation and sorry for
    you brainwashed christians a book cant tell you the truth but the lord him self can…

  • anon ymos

    haha avatar reference…yahwah

  • Grilled Cheese Jesus

    I shot a load of DNA in a sock

  • lgcamp

    How utterly stupid! Charles Watson says the code was written by the Judeo god, but then he says it turned him into a Christian. H-e-l-l-o-o-o-o…. What it proves (if ANYTHING) is that people are stupid. It’s like me saying the code was written by the Judeo god, therefore it turned me into a Hindu. Come on, people. If the code was written by the Judeo god, then if it turns you into ANYTHING, it should turn you into a believer in Judaism. It has turned me into a wiser researcher. If there is a god, I can guarantee you that s/he is smarter than this!

  • lgcamp

    I agree. Good English is cool.

  • lgcamp

    I agree.

  • Gregory J Gontarek

    lol yes millions of idiots.

  • Juniper Bartlett

    Too bad you took something that is true and turned it into something ugly.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    It’s actually they. He and She.

  • Will Jones

    No “committee” effected the Creation from a point one-trillionth the diameter of a proton in 10^-36 seconds.

    The Creator is infinite, eternal, living, present, ineffable, invisible, holy, righteous, perfect, and unique: the Divine Singularity, God Almighty.

    Pray on It to discover your error.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    Don’t quote words nobody used. Fuckhead.
    PS – affected is what you meant.
    Here’s another mistake you made – The Creator and God are not one in the same. The creator created. God was left to govern. and he didn’t, FYI.

    You know nothing of God. You poor, lonely man.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    Also, God hates you for Choosing 9 of an infinite amount of characteristics.
    So useless a creature you are, poor man.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    I can’t get over how much you deserve to lose.
    Learn your place, boy. Until then, children are to be seen and not heard.

  • Will Jones

    Qed

  • ShocksAway

    Cool story bro.

  • Guest

    I dont think this is a real story…

  • Matthew Paul Colonna

    I dont think this is a real story…

    http://www.ugsrecords.com/beatsbygambit

  • Phillip P. Phillips

    The Christ Lord hath spoken.

  • Marius Live Annandale Blouklip

    It’s really a shame that people need this to believe – God’s word have been telling you this for 6000 years. Well anyway – next you would like to but you’re fingers threw the wounds in His hands, where He was crucified for you. Why do people need evidence – He gave you His word, His promise and His Son – and that should be enough!

  • Mr. Black

    All that is based upon a collection of campfire tales from the Bronze Age. I have absolutely no reason to believe any of it. So nope, not nearly enough.

  • Ann Tipton Clemment

    And Current = 1. a flow of water, 2. immediate happenings.

  • Ann Tipton Clemment

    The usage of EFFECTED was correct. It is a versatile word. Here are some examples.
    He effected creation by the use of evolution as a tool.
    He affected creation by the direction of evolution.
    She affected a foreign accent and a limp to hide her identity.
    The effect of radiation of DNA structure over time has been studied
    His affect is that of a fop.
    His effect on history was marginal.
    These are not all possible usages. Affect and effect are constantly misused. Better check up on this. However, archaic usages are still correct, even though only the older generations may still recognize them. Such as the word ‘pale’ meaning fence or hedge, as well as meaning light in color.

  • Steve Frank

    If its not about the jews, jews will slam it.

  • Kevin Lee Kauzlarich

    BULLSHIT

  • Lacy

    I think the most important thing anyone can do here is do their own research and not believe what they read in an article on a “.com” site. They’re the most unreliable sources. If you go to Harvard.edu you will find no evidence of any published research or findings on this topic. Not one. If the research was conducted at Harvard they would have publications already and they do not. It also doesn’t help that this IS a satirical newspaper and is the first found source of this ‘life changing information’. It just doesn’t add up guys. It would be lovely if it were true, but its not and it would benefit most if they just realized that.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    Ah, but here – He’s obviously believing that it simply happened. How? IDK BUT IT DID! See!?
    So, to say that No committee effected = No committee created. Yes? Obviously. However, if he were to be against this circumstance, then the universe just came to be and no committee affected it.

    Let me reiterate, with a word puzzle – Nobody did it, okay? It’s just happening. Which would make it more reasonable to say that nobody affected it, because if they were to have effected it they would have affected it and if they were to affect it, they’d have effected it.

    I understand that I said someone effected it. However, his use of effected is incorrect because his theory is misguided. A logical fallacy makes the use of all words incorrect.

    Point being – You can tell me the sky is Purple, and you can use all the adjectives you’d like, but the sky is still Blue and you’re now a known fool.

  • Jacob L Cragen

    I found my error without prayer, whatever you think that word means. Would you like to find it?

  • Ann Tipton Clemment

    All I addressed was your grammar. I did not address your opinion. I would appreciate your forbearance in calling names, as I did not so address you. Gracious.

  • apo

    I hate you and love you guys. I just had this article posted as final argument by fighting catholic ;)

  • peaceboarding

    “For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves, 15in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them, 16on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.”

  • Billy Ross

    “Clearly this means our God is the one true God and that we should exterminate rival religions,” says Frank Page, leader of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention.”

    So…. exactly what part of “Now share it peacefully with the world” are you finding hard to grasp, Frank?

    Haha, just kidding Frank, you exterminate away, mate. Start with yourself. Don’t you just love it when m0r0ns take satire as gospel?

  • Madhu Bag

    oh! Lord who believes this message.whom you reveal your secrets?

  • http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EvidencefortheBible/ Galut1

    This Site is Satire …don’t believe anything without checking it out ….

    As far as DNA is concerned The mere complexity of the codes alone should suggest a designer . the odds of it falling together and be a working DNA strand by it self is beyond astronomical….

  • gordofats

    Wow… You obviously don’t understand the word satire. HaHaHa!

  • gordofats

    Troll haha. what about you.

  • http://www.nofica.com Rodger Malcolm Mitchell

    Actually, in ancient Brooklynese, it reads, “Hello suckers. I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.”