Obama to Declare America A ‘Socialist State’

Feb 12, 2013

sotu_slide_speakingA leaked copy of of President Obama's State of the Union address has revealed plans to declare the United States a socialist nation allied with Fidel Castro's Cuba.

The top-secret document outlines Obama's four-year plan to radically transform the country into a 'post-capitalist superpower' guided by the principles of Karl Marx, Saul Alinsky, and Hugo Chavez. 

The plan begins with a series of executive orders banning firearms, outlawing Christianity, and putting a $150,000 cap on all private sector salaries.

It then proceeds to a complete overhaul of the tax code, which eliminates taxes on the poor and raises taxes on the rich to 80% of gross income.

The administration will also increase welfare payments to African-Americans by 350% and nix Social Security payments for whites.

Viva Obama

Although the United States has moved to the left in recent years - passing a universal health care law and allowing gays to serve in the military - some see a complete socialist revolution as a step too far.

But according to Obama's inner circle, there is a precedent for such a sweeping transformation.

"The example of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela shows us that socialism can work on a grand scale," the speech reads,"We no longer have to look to the failed experiment of the Soviet Union. Socialism is a 21st system that works."

"In Venezuela you don't have to work for a living. You can stay at home and have the government pay for everything. Doesn't that sound nice? Whycan't we have that kind of luxury in America?

"Rich people have so much money. Why can't they share so the rest of us can have free iPads and free gasoline for our cars?"

It is unclear if Obama has always been an hard-line socialist, or if he has had a recent change of heart. But reading the speech, it is clear his loyalties now like firmly in the Marxist-Leninist camp.

In the text, Obama also says he will unilaterally end the embargo of Casto's regime and will refuse to enforce all immigration laws - allowing anyone from anywhere in the world to settle in the United States.

He will also eliminate college tuition, forgive all outstanding student loan debt, and ban the practice of home schooling - forcing conservatives to be indoctrinated with liberal concepts such as human evolution and gravity.

Many liberals are disturbed by the extreme nature of the plan, but are perhaps most concerned by the fact that conservative paranoia about his intentions appears to have been justified.

"This makes Glenn Beck look like a clairvoyant genius," explains one liberal activist.

  • LOL! but some people are going to take it at face value

  • John Beam

    Sure, this is a little bit over the top, but what about this is NOT what collectivists actually want. There are no limits to what the collective wants from us. That is part of what defines a collectivist: having no standards or limits.

  • smartalek

    Home-schooled, were you?
    Hope you’re not a smoker; so much straw is a serious fire hazard.

  • ramgrl

    Home schooled kids are intelligent. John is clearly a product of the Alabama public school system.

  • A minor correction-Fidel Castro hasn’t been Cuba’s head of state since 2008. The President of Cuba is currently his brother Raul Castro.

    Otherwise, hilarious.

  • Douglas

    god i wish this was real…aside from the obviously satirical “not have to work” and banning religion part.

  • maren showkeir

    YAY! It is about time!

  • Correction: home-schooled kids can be intelligent, if they have intelligent parents with ample time to teach them.

  • eric

    I could really go for the banning college tuition and commuting student loan debt.

  • anony123

    Lies; are funny.. To IDIOTS!

  • Wrong. There are no limits to what the 0.01% want from the rest of us.

  • Will my benefits go up in the summer, now a tanning booth tax makes sense.

  • Teto85

    Yeah, right.

  • DailyCurrant

    The article never stated Castro was president. Merely that his philosophy still guides the country.

  • Look in the mirror Jose, what did they take from you? maybe you just never made anything

  • tony

    Sean, the system is set up so that wealth goes to the top. Look at charts that document the upward movement since the 70’s. It’s not about blaming the wealthy, but rather the system.

  • The sad thing is that there are too many people out there who believe this.

  • this article is absolute rubbish. I dont like our current president’s way of doing things but slander is a bit far. At least attack with truth.

  • Jerry Catron

    April fools came early-The banning gun part may be close

  • Lee Rogers

    Satire, Jerry, Satire

  • Mateckz

    Correction, most of the instructors/teachers in the public schools aren’t intelligent, so your comment is unsound. That is why America’s Educational system is a joke.

  • Mental richness

    How in the world can a country as blessed as ours once was, look to a socialist regime as an example to us on how to run things? Is the Government so blind that they have forgotten the horrible acts of brutality that these socialists regimes have inacted upon their own people? America is headed towards the worse times….not the best.

  • UTKR

    Yaaaah, right. Like this is true.

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  • American Hero

    Fine for you, if you don’t mind selling your soul to the Devil.