Hillary Clinton: ‘I’m Running’

Feb 20, 2013

800px-thumbnailHillary Clinton responded to a reporter's question about the 2016 presidential elections today by saying that she is running.

The surprise announcement came today at a public park about half a mile from the Clintons' residence in Chappaqua, New York. 

The Daily Currant's New York correspondent had been tailing behind Ms. Clinton on her morning jog around the neighborhood when he finally summoned the courage to ask the question on every American's mind.

"Secretary Clinton! Secretary Clinton!", our reporter shouted, "Do you have time for a few quick questions about 2016?"

"Not now, I'm running," Clinton responded.

"Okay, well have a good day Ma'am."

She later explained though an aide that the phrasing of her remark was just her way of making light of the intense speculation surrounding her presidential plans.

Hillary Clinton is a former U.S. Senator, Secretary of State and First Lady of the United States. She is widely expected to attempt to become the first female president in American history in 2016.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vaughnstuart.dues Vaughn Stuart Dues

    I love you guys… you just nail it every time and leave me laughing!

  • [email protected]

    The 4 dead guys in Bengazi won’t be voting for her.

  • janierock

    Neither will the soldiers who died in the Gulf under both Bush regimes. What’s your point? Places in the Middle East get attacked and people die. Why are these four so important suddenly?

  • Jim

    Neither will the 60 Consulate and Embassy employees who were killed from January 22, 2002 through September 17, 2008 during the Bush Administration.

  • Thomas Blair

    and 2,966 in the trade towers and thousands of soldiers who couldn’t vote for Dubya sent to an illegal war in Iraq.

  • http://twitter.com/SophiePUMA SophieCT

    That’s right. Four dead guys in Benghazi because Republicans don’t care what happens as long as they’re shrinking goverment and NOT giving departments the money they request. Contrast that with the 4486 dead guys, from a bogus war (fully funded, by they way) that had NO investigations.
    But you keep holding on to that Benghazi meme and I am sure you guys will win the 2016 elections just like Rove was sure you won in 2012.

  • Jalen

    Neither will the people that paid for the Bush Administration’s neglect of alerts of Osama Bin Laden, resulting in the worst terrorist attack in out history.

  • me

    Go fuck yourself! Thousands ofIraqies didn’t re elect Bush either…just you dumb fuckers

  • http://www.facebook.com/eddie.davis.35 Eddie Davis

    Good Deal

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kaeutzchen Christian Kautz

    Love it and shared at ‘The World of Hillary Clinton’
    https://www.facebook.com/TheWorldOfHillaryClinton

  • Nonyo

    But I will and so are my kids

  • Nonyo

    Now you showing your true tea bagger face tstststststs

  • chainsawhandz

    “She later explained though an aide that the phrasing of her remark was just her way of making light of the intense speculation surrounding her presidential plans.” Oh, is that why the word “running” is supposed to be so hilarious? I guess you don’t have to go to the Onion to have your hand held and jokes pointed out to you after all.

  • DailyCurrant

    Yeah you’re right, this is much funnier:

    http://www.markprindle.com/judas.htm

  • chainsawhandz

    The text I quoted wasn’t pulled as an example of humor–it was pulled to show that you are guilty of explicitly explaining your punchline. If you’re going to complain that the Onion holds people’s hands to point out its jokes, then you probably shouldn’t do it yourself. The joke boiled down to a pun–one that couldn’t possibly need an explanation.

    But since your brought it up, yes, Prindle’s humor is a great example of successful absurdity. And much funnier to me. Even your sarcasm seems to be off-the-mark. Did you catch that pun? It’s funny because it’s also his first name.

    And now this whole comment is satire. I win.

  • DailyCurrant

    Well you’re just wrong on that point. The purpose of that phrase was not to explain the punchline, it was to assign ownership of the joke to Clinton and not to the reporter.

  • david simms

    JOIN THE HILLARY GROUP

  • david simms

    join the hillary group on f/b hillary in 2016 for smart people only

  • chainsawhandz

    Hillary shouldn’t be making the jokes though–The Daily Currant should. And you still shouldn’t be explaining them.

    Unless the entire site is a satire about satire. Which it isn’t.

  • Biggus_Diggus

    W’s people ignored memo that said “Bin Laden determined to attack the U.S.”. Death toll: more than 3,000. W’s people let Bin Laden go at Tora Bora. Bush lied us into an unnecessary war in Iraq killing more than 4,400 US service personnel. Imagined if all this happened on Obama’s watch. Teatards would be marching with pitchforks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dean.forster.9 Ba Humbug

    i thought bush said it was an act of war

  • http://www.facebook.com/dean.forster.9 Ba Humbug

    thats getting boring now how about 1i5 million iraqs

  • eric_in_NJ

    In that same vein, neither will the people who paid for Bill Clinton’s failure, on two separate occasions, to kill Bin Laden when he had the opportunity to do so.

  • eric_in_NJ

    I guess that Hillary took a page from W’s play book because she ignored Ambassador Stevens repeated requests for more security as he deemed the situation in Libya unsafe. W is not running in 2016 but Hillary is and unlike your imaginary issue that might be used to not vote for W people will indeed use Benghazi to not vote for Hillary

  • GovSlacker

    You lie.

  • GovSlacker

    She can’t run. Her legs are too fat.

  • Guest

    The only thing that surprises me anymore is that 120 million fuckwits divide themselves in half, walk to opposite sides of an aisle, and fight over who is the most incompetent biggest government spender in the first place. Say what you want about Bush, and there’s plenty, he didn’t assassinate American citizens without due process. Both sides suck. You’re a special kind of fucking stupid aren’t you?

    Full Report
    http://www.hrw.org/sites/default/files/reports/libya0912webwcover_1.pdf

    Synopsis/Press Release
    http://www.hrw.org/node/109831/section/1
    Delivered Into Enemy Hands
    SEPTEMBER 6, 2012

  • http://www.facebook.com/brutus.lincoln.paine Brutus Lincoln Paine

    The only thing that surprises me anymore is that 120 million fuckwits divide themselves in half, walk to opposite sides of an aisle, and fight over who is the most incompetent biggest government spender in the first place. Say what you want about Bush, and there’s plenty, he didn’t assassinate American citizens without due process. Both sides suck. You’re a special kind of fucking stupid, aren’t you?

    Full Report
    http://www.hrw.org/sites/defau

    Synopsis/Press Release
    http://www.hrw.org/node/109831
    Delivered Into Enemy Hands
    SEPTEMBER 6, 2012

  • http://www.facebook.com/rich.ross.9889 Rich Ross

    <—— its a diversion

  • http://www.facebook.com/rich.ross.9889 Rich Ross

    <——

    Job 18:15 The homes of the wicked will burn down; burning sulfur rains on their houses.

    ————————————————

    JOHN CHAPTER 20 VS 1 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM HEBREW

    ויהי באחד בשבת לפנות הבקר בעוד חשך ותבא מרים המגדלית אל הקבר ותרא את האבן מוסרה מעל הקבר׃

    And there was one late SATURDAY morning in darkness And when Mary
    Magdalene to the tomb and saw THE STONE REMOVED from the tomb:

    Jere 8:8 "'HOW CAN YOU SAY, "We are wise, for we have the law of the
    LORD," when actually the LYING PEN of the SCRIBES has handled it
    FALSELY!

    —————————————————-

    MATTHEW CH 28 VS 1 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM HEBREW

    ואחרי מוצאי השבת כשהאיר לאחד בשבת באה מרים המגדלית ומרים האחרת לראות את הקבר׃

    And after Saturday night when lit up one Saturday came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the tomb:

    ————————————-

    1 Corinthians 16:2 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM THE HEBREW!

    ויהי לעת ערב ביום ההוא והוא אחד בשבת כאשר נסגרו דלתות הבית אשר נקבצו שם
    התלמידים מיראת היהודים ויבא ישוע ויעמד ביניהם ויאמר אליהם שלום לכם׃

    And there was evening on that day and is one SATURDAY when the closed
    doors that gathered where students fear of the Jews, and Jesus came and
    stood among them and said to them, Peace be unto you:

    Jesus SHOULD BE TRANSLATED AS YAHUSHUA.

    ————————————–

    MARK 16:2 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM HEBREW

    And one on SATURDAY morning, came to the tomb early in the sun shine:

    ובאחד בשבת בבקר השכם באו אל הקבר כזרוח השמש׃

    how can you church of the pretenders say,

    "we are wise, we proclaim the word of the LORD"

    your scribes have handled it FALSELY, by changing SATURDAY
    TO SUNDAY

    ——————————————————

    JOHN CH 20 VS 19 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM HEBREW

    ויהי לעת ערב ביום ההוא והוא אחד בשבת כאשר נסגרו דלתות הבית אשר נקבצו שם
    התלמידים מיראת היהודים ויבא ישוע ויעמד ביניהם ויאמר אליהם שלום לכם׃

    And there was EVENING on that day and is one SATURDAY when the closed
    doors that gathered where students fear of the Jews, and Jesus came and
    stood among them and said to them, Peace be unto you:
    ———————————
    MARK CH 16 VS 9 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM HEBREW

    והוא כאשר קם מן המתים באחד בשבת נראה בראשונה אל מרים המגדלית אשר גרש ממנה שבעה שדים׃

    And when he ROSE FROM THE DEAD ONE SATURDAY

    he appeared first to Mary Magdalene who expelled HER SEVEN DEMONS

    ————————————————————–

    1 Corinthians 16:2 CORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM THE HEBREW!

    ויהי לעת ערב ביום ההוא והוא אחד בשבת כאשר נסגרו דלתות הבית אשר נקבצו שם
    התלמידים מיראת היהודים ויבא ישוע ויעמד ביניהם ויאמר אליהם שלום לכם׃

    And there was evening on that day and is one SATURDAY when the closed
    doors that gathered where students fear of the Jews, and Jesus came and
    stood among them and said to them, Peace be unto you:

    Jesus SHOULD BE TRANSLATED AS YAHUSHUA.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rich.ross.9889 Rich Ross

    <—– planet x is approaching

    Matthew 24:14
    And the GOOD NEWS about the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN will be PREACHED throughout THE WHOLE WORLD, so that ALL NATIONS WILL HEAR IT;

    and then THE END WILL COME.

    GO HERE DO NOT DELAY

    ALMIGHTYWIND*C OM

    Isaiah 49:23 KINGS AND QUEENS WILL SERVE YOU

    and

    CARE FOR ALL YOUR NEEDS.

    They will BOW TO THE EARTH BEFORE YOU and lick the dust from your feet. Then you
    will know that I AM YAHUVEH the LORD.

    Those who TRUST IN ME will NEVER BE PUT TO SHAME."

    Psalm 91:14 The LORD says, " I WILL RESCUE those who love me. I will protect those who TRUST IN MY NAME

    Psalm 91:15 When they CALL ON ME, I WILL ANSWER THEM; I will be with them in trouble. I WILL RESCUE and HONOR THEM.

    Psalm 50:15 Then CALL ON ME WHEN YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, and I WILL RESCUE YOU, and you will GIVE ME GLORY."

  • http://www.facebook.com/rich.ross.9889 Rich Ross

    <<<—-