Real estate mogul Donald Trump filed a civil lawsuit against President Barack Obama today, seeking damages of $316 million for the pain and suffering caused by his "terrible presidency."
In a statement issued through his lawyer, Trump says the suit filed in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia is a way of holding Obama personally responsible for his "pathetic failures as a Socialist leader."
The precise figure, Trump says, is calculated to represent one dollar for every man, woman, and child in America and he promises to donate the proceeds to charity.
"Barack Hussien Obama has been the worst president this nation has ever had," the statement reads. "He has unleashed upon this country a worse economy than Franklin Roosevelt, crazier Iranians than Jimmy Carter, and more hurricanes and snowstorms than Lyndon B. Johnson and John Kennedy combined.
"The only way we can stop this monster from further destroying America is to hold him financially accountable for his actions. That's why we want to force him to use his personal bank account to pay one dollar per American in damages."
Trump the Troll
Trump explains that in addition to the monetary claims, the suit also seeks for force Obama to give a televised apology to the entire nation for his "crimes," including:
- "The cover up of ACORN's deadly attack on the American consulate in Benghazi."
- "Former adviser Van Jones' murder of conservative blogger Andrew Brietbart."
- "The ballooning budget deficit - caused primarily by giving away free money to black people who refuse to work."
Despite the explosive charges in the suit, legal experts are skeptical that Trump's suit has a chance at success.
"This is the most ridiculous lawsuit I have ever seen," says David Boies, a constitutional lawyer. "There is no provision in the law that would allow anyone to sue the president in civil court for damages done in the course of his professional duties."
However, not all legal scholars agree that Trump's case is entirely without merit.
"Oddly enough, people are allowed to sue the president while still in office," explains a constitutional law professor at Georgetown. "This was established by the Supreme Court in the 1990s when Paula Jones wanted to sue Clinton.
"But I don't think the court's ever looked at whether you can sue a president personally for doing a bad job. It's not likely, but there is a small chance this could work."
In an exclusive interview with The Daily Currant, Trump says he's willing to take the case all the way to the Supreme Court if he has to.
"I got millions in the bank, I can keep this dusky bastard tied up in litigation for years," he says.
Trump is a multi-millionaire who inherited most of his fortune from his father's real estate empire. He is a vocal critic of President Obama, and recently sued comedian Bill Maher for failing to make good on a bet to prove Trump is not an orangutan.