Michele Bachmann Accidentally Embarks on Gay Cruise

Mar 25, 2013

marcus-and-michelle-bachmannCongresswoman Michelle Bachmann and her husband, Marcus, accidentally set sail on a gay cruise today following a misunderstanding with a travel agency.

The six day jaunt on the all-gay Atlantis Cruise Lines was mistakenly booked after Marcus Bachmann visited a Minneapolis travel agent who assumed he was gay.

Although the couple has reportedly requested to leave the ship, it won't reach its next port in The Bahamas for another three days. The pair are currently holed up in their suite waiting to disembark and return to Miami by air.

Phillip Jennings, a partner at North Star Travel agency in Minnesota, is deeply apologetic over the incident and explains how the mishap occurred.

"Mr. Bachmann came into our office three weeks ago," Jennings says. "He said he wanted to book a cruise for himself and his partner 'Michele'.

"From his demeanor, I assumed that Mr. Bachmann was gay and that 'Michel' was a man who pronounced his name in the French way. So I booked them on one of our finest all-gay cruises in the Caribbean.

"In retrospect it was unprofessional of me to assume his sexual orientation. I am very sorry for the inconvenience this misunderstanding has caused and we have offered to fully refund the cost of the Bachmanns' trip."

Marcus the Bear

The unexpected detour for the Bachmanns during Congress' recess is especially ironic given their stated opposition to the "homosexual lifestyle."

Michele has vociferously opposed same-sex marriage from her perch in the U.S. House of Representatives, and Marcus operates a counseling center which advocates "pray the gay away" reparative therapy.

The duo's anti-gay positions don't seem to be causing any animosity aboard the Rainbow Warrior, however. A source on board the vessel says Marcus has attracted the attention of the passengers and was even voted "cutest bear" on the ship's traditional Bear vs. Twink night.

"I think he's absolutely delicious," says Albert Goldman, a sous chef from Palm Beach, Fla. "I just want to pour truffle oil on top and eat him up!"

Michele for her part is having difficulty adjusting to not being the center of attention. But in an exclusive interview from the ship's satellite phone the Christian firebrand explains that the experience is not all bad.

"Obviously I don't agree with 95 percent of what's been happening around me," she says, "but they do have a fantastic hair salon, and some really nice shoe shops. So I'm trying to make the best of it."


  • Audio7

    Doesn’t her honeymoon count?

  • miguel ruiz

    Why should they have to leave, it was legitimately booked…if the gays are uncomfortable they can have one element of their trip outside their comfort zone. Why should they want to leave? Is someone going to attack them? The Bachman’s have an opportunity to show themselves to be larger than the issue which would do her reputation tremendous good just to show she has the courage and commitment. And who knows, maybe everyone’s eyes would open up a bit.

  • mhbmd

    Miguel, its a joke…..

  • David

    A. it is fake.
    B. You have zero critical reading skills. The Bachmanns are the ones that want to leave because they are uncomfortable with the gay community. Not because the people on board are asking them to leave; as infered by this statement “The duo’s anti-gay positions don’t seem to be causing any animosity aboard the Rainbow Warrior”

  • http://www.facebook.com/Hiyokah Mark Brewster

    OHH, the POETIC JUSTICE….I’m gonna laugh about this the rest of the YEAR!

  • bb

    I don’t know who proof read this, but that is not how you spell “totally intentionally embarks on a gay cruise”….

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000106333199 Lena Just-Lena

    lol.. how funny.. Poor Michele.. I know how it feels to have a man that the gays just lust over.. happened to me in the 70′s in New Orleans.. He was straight as an arrow but the gay’s loved him anyway.. something about his nice aaaaaa.. um, yeah.. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/jazkitten Rebecca Downs

    mmm, I think in his first sentence at least, Miguel was being ironic. Very funny!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.d.mahoney Michael David Mahoney

    That’s hilarious ! How stupid can you be .? Oh wait ,we are talking about Michelle Bachmann right ? LMAO

  • Gene Warneke

    it’s called homophobia

  • baerenjunge

    This is a Hollywood screenplay waiting to happen. I’m serious. Cast Kristen Wiig and the fat gay dad on “Modern Family” and you’ve got your leads!

  • http://www.facebook.com/juli.jacobs.9 Juli Jacobs

    Karma baby! Enjoy your trip, I’m sure it will be fabulous!

  • ceebee

    You can’t tell me that if either Miz Bachman or her husband had paid the slightest attention when they were boarding the ship they would have noticed the guys getting on with them. They could have turned around right then. This smells.

  • LindaP

    AAAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAAA…. DEAD

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Trachtenberg/563721001 Sarah Trachtenberg

    If only this story were true…

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    I can picture Michele and her wife doing this.

  • ROBERT DELROSSO

    You reailize this is a fake story, right?
    Fake, but I could see how it might happen for real one day!

  • antonio cristovao

    We have here a very strong anti-gay spray.Full and trusty efficience.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.cain.31 Mark Cain

    I would have started throwing the sinners overboard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.cain.31 Mark Cain

    Fake liberal jerkoff story.

  • sn

    Might be a fake story, but check out the movie “Boat Trip”

  • samalamadingdong

    LOL, gotta love the gullible tweeters

  • kkjjxl

    um, it already is a movie. Boat Trip starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

  • Rudy

    Such a fake story… A Travel Agent assuming a person is gay and sending him on a gay cruise without reconfirming with the clients first? I don’t know, this might have happened but I guess it was a plan for popularity relating to the “bad” incident they had to “face”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-McPartlin/1732720284 Joe McPartlin

    Nothing is an accident in politics. But I’ll bet Michelle looked better than any guy on the ship.

  • gtrfqq

    Damn – if you were going to throw the sinners overboard – would you not have to be first in line? Or do you not also consider yourself a “gasp” – sinner????????? lame

  • Kevin Samuel Coleman

    Yay for killing people for being gay. Heil Cain! Heil Cain!

  • dotw

    wasn’t Cuba Gooding in that movie?

  • TJ

    I know I would want off board rather than spend time with those people, meaning Michelle and Mr. Michelle.

  • MargaretEDavis

    Who Michele and Marcus. Yep we all would. Maybe hold back on Marcus but definitely Michele Bachman

  • rejco

    I heard Marcus was taking full advantage of the Lido Deck’s Bathhouse of the Atlantis glory-holes & leather slings….

  • JB

    While obviously a fake story, nonetheless hilarious! But what does “Marcus the Bear” mean? I guess I’m not fully informed on the lingo of the gay community

  • KaintGetRight

    Hahahaha!!! It could be worse. They could get booked on a totally bigoted, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, hate mongering cruise. Which basically is having a teabagger rally on a boat.

  • meatmann50

    Such a fake story…anyone who believes this story is a dumb-ass….

  • Sandy Simms

    They should leave their cabin and talk to the very people hate .Maybe the would learn a thing or to if the just talked and found out that inside we are all the same.

  • Mohammed

    Quite funny. :~)

  • MARTinNJ

    Yeah sort of a Boys-in-the-Band meets A-Clockwork-Orange.