Paul Ryan Thrown Out of Easter Mass For Views On Poverty

Mar 31, 2013

0812-paul-ryan-video-1Congressman Paul Ryan was thrown out of Easter Mass today at his hometown Catholic Church because of his "unchristian" stance towards the poor.

A spokesperson for St. John Vianney's church in Janesville, Wis. says it was enforcing a new papal order barring uncharitable politicians from participating in Catholic rites when it refused communion to Ryan and asked him to leave the building. 

Ryan reportedly declined to move at first, and was escorted out by several large male parishioners and taken to his car, where he waited for his wife and children to finish the service.

In a statement released to the media shortly after the incident Ryan came out swinging against the Church and its anti-poverty views.

"The Catholic Church believes it is society's responsibility to care for the poor. I believe the poor are invariably lazy and should be left cold and starving until they acquire a decent work ethic. What's the matter? We can't even have a debate about this? It's almost as if this new pope thinks he's infallible or something!"

Love Thy Neighbor

Although the Catholic Church's social positions are extremely conservative, its stance on economic issues is further left than most Democrats in the United States. The church explicitly opposes high levels of income inequality, favors an increased minimum wage, supports universal health care and has called for a global government body to regulate the financial industry.

The church's commitment to the poor strengthened with the ascension of Pope Francis I to the papacy, who while a bishop in his native Argentina was known for his deep devotion to fighting poverty.

Despite his Catholic faith, Paul Ryan is the author of a budget plan that directly contradicts these core values, tearing up the existing social safety net America has built for the poor. Last year the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops called Ryan's budget "unjustified" and "wrong."

In an exclusive interview, Ryan says he rejects the bishop's criticisms and argues his viewpoint should be allowed within the Church.

"I'm a big fan of the Old Testament," Ryan says. "I like the parts where God is punishing people with plagues and locusts, and killing people's first born children. The verses where he sanctions rape and genocide are just brilliant.

"But I'm not really big on this hippie New Testament thing. Too much peace and love, not enough hatred and violence. But hey, it's all God's word. So I don't see why I am excluded from Catholic services just because I like some parts better than others."

Ryan represents Wisconsin's 1st Congressional District in the U.S. House of Representatives. He was his party's losing vice presidential candidate in the 2012 election.

  • A3Kr0n

    Ha! I live in Janesville!

  • This is RICH!!! If it is true, it really did happen, this might just redefine my religious views.

  • RR

    If the church wants to dabble in politics, it ought to pay it’s fair share. All the money goes to the churches and yet they pay no tax. If you want a say in politics you need to pay taxes too. St. John’s Vianney. Shame on the St. John’s Vianney’s !!


  • you know the story is just pretend, right?

  • I think the best part is they think its real, and still defend the person, sometimes the comments here are funnier than the stories, in a sad sad way.

  • Guest

    Another church that will face judgement for false doctrine. Trading the Good News and substituting a social humanist gospel. It was written that In the end of days even the elect will be deceived. To commit such a sin on this the Holiest of Christian Days is very sad. Even Jesus didn’t deny Judas communion at the last supper.

  • sadly, yes. It would be awesome if it were true. Hey, maybe Francis will make it so. 🙂

  • Oh how I wish this was true, I am so disappointed.

  • jane

    You moron, it’s a joke.

  • Is this true?

  • So when the church inserts itself into the legislative process in terms of marriage equality and abortion, you’re in favor of taxing them. Right?

  • There was no Communion to deny, dumbass.

  • Let the Church say Amen

  • That’s the way the Constitution was written…

    Separation of Church and State, and all that gibberish…

  • Ummm…no

  • You know the Catholic Church is the one, true church,right? Only Christian Church in the Bible. Must be true.

  • RockyLanding

    The Daily Currant stinks. Its attempts at satire are absolutely pedestrian. It simply takes someone like Ryan, ups his rhetoric, and calls it parody. Lame. Then, people are left wondering if the story is real or not, because there is no creative hook. No comedy. Nothing to inspire the reader to think beyond the ordinary. C’mon, guys, it takes more than that.

  • You scummy moron.

  • Delia

    That’s what I love about this site. There’s always some fool who thinks the story’s for real.

  • this is just a satire piece no such church this did not happen unfortunatly

  • Hello this is just a satire u know a joke u know something to laugh about

  • no it is a satire piece

  • 1. There is no “Separation of Church and State” in the Constitution
    2. This is satire, a completely false story, dressed up to look believeable.

  • pie

    I think it’s an April Fool’s joke

  • justmeliz

    Are you so full of hatred that you cannot even realize a JOKE…you know a funny…a ha ha….something that makes you laugh.

  • Jane

    There is such a church.

  • it’s funny because it’s totally plausible.


  • You need to talk to your imaginary friend about the possibility of getting a brain retrofitted.

  • thinkingperson

    Patrick Elze – there may not be that wording in the constitution, but there IS a separation of church and state in the BIBLE! Jesus said “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s”.

  • If only.

  • Una

    sounds like a sociopath to me…

  • April 1st. Lots of stories aren’t true today.

  • JoelinPDX

    This story will appear and be quoted as fact in the next couple of days in Huffington Post, Media Matters and Daily Koz which will give it a place on BSDNC and the DNC Nightly News with Brian Williams.. It will be on Obozo’s media briefing tomorrow morning.

  • JoelinPDX

    Yeah The Daily Currant is straight news the other 364 days a year, it has stories about dried grapes.

  • Acastus

    You should really put a 4/1 dateline on a column like this.

  • Guest

    what a tool

  • ThatGuy

    Hey look at that, you were wrong.

  • Ryan Sucks

  • JoelinPDX

    Maybe this time, but if you check the record you’ll find a lot of other Daily Currant stories that made the so-called legitimate news.

  • ThatGuy

    Yeah, remeber when “Paul Krugman Declares Personal Bankruptcy” Breitbart.com looked really foolish for not bothering to check the facts on that one. Makes you wonder how much of their content is also devoid of facts.

    I didn’t see where any of the media outlets you mentioned fucked up as bad a Breitbart.

    Hey did Breitbart ever issue a correction, or were they just going to stand pat on their lack of integrity?

  • JoelinPDX

    Yeah, the integrity of MMfA and Daily Koz is pure as the driven snow. Of course, they always own up to their mistakes. #sarcasm

  • ThatGuy

    You sure, because you’ve been wrong about this kind of thing before.

  • JoelinPDX

    Really? I have?

    Was I more wrong than when WaPo posted the Daily Currant story about Sarah Palin joining al-Jazeera and called it fact? And while we’re asking questions: Which was worse? A website like Breitbart being fooled or a “legitimate” news organization of long standing, such as the Boston Globe, being fooled with the same story?

    Of course, good little liberals that they are at the Globe they blamed someone else.

  • ThatGuy

    You’ve been wrong before. See your original post. Gain some self-awareness.

  • Gee someone was wrong.

  • Denial!

  • Guest


  • Is this story on P. ryan real? or a joke?

  • IF it is real….God bless the Pope!!!!!

  • OKOKOK I Get IT a joke…..but all said in joke except being thrown out I believe to be true

  • Thank goodness it’s only satire.

  • Now that I know this site is satire I can really enjoy it.

  • Paul Ryan is no Catholic…he wants the votes and doesn’t care about the people….he is an Ayn Rand follower. That says it all!

  • Please notice the judo twist of the mind, here it is step by step:

    1. A news organization made an inaccurate report
    2. The news organization did not correct their story to the satisfaction of the reader.
    3. Alleged low journalistic standards prove left wing bias.

    didn’t see it? Ok, I’ll do it again, watch my hands…..

  • AmWiser

    Sounds like something a liberal church would do.