Selena Gomez Says Bieber Has ‘Tiny, Weird Penis’

Apr 09, 2013

selena-gomez-extra-interview

Actress Selena Gomez said today that ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber has a "ridiculously small" penis.

In an interview with E! Entertainment News outside a charity event in New York, Gomez explained how the tween sex idol is under-equipped for the job.

"We're here with Selena Gomez," started the reporter. "Wow Selena, you look amazing tonight! I bet that's the kind of outfit that would just drive Justin Bieber wild when you were together huh?"

"I dunno ... It's hard to tell when Justin's excited because his dick is so small," Gomez answered.

"Sometimes I would try to initiate sex by doing a strip-tease for him. And I couldn't tell if he was horny or not. It changes like 2 millimeters from flaccid to fully erect."

Beauty and a Beat

The E! reporter, realizing she had an opportunity to make headlines, decided to goad Gomez into further disparaging Bieber.

"How small are we talking?" she asked. "Smaller than an average-sized cucumber?"

"Honestly, I've seen pieces of penne pasta bigger than Justin Bieber's cock," Gomez replied, "and the pasta's usually stiffer too.

"I find it hilarious that there are all these millions of girls who dream about dating Justin Bieber and think that he's like some sort of sex god.

"Ladies, unless you're an Asian midget with a correspondingly miniature vagina - he won't be able to satisfy you. Sorry.

"And don't even get me started on the weird shape. His dick bends so much, it looks like someone attached the letter L to his crotch.

"You know those breakfast cereals with pieces shaped like letters of the alphabet? That's exactly what Justin Bieber's penis looks like. A minature L from an Alpha-Bits cereal box."

Selena Gomez is an actress best known for her work on the Disney series Wizards of Waverly Place and the recent Harmony Korine film Spring Breakers. This week she released a single from her forthcoming debut record album.

  • Guest

    Not a Bieber fan, but it sounds like Selena might be a bit angry that she’s no longer his gf??

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ralph-Dudley/529888223 Ralph Dudley

    ya that must be it

  • Shimb

    Definitely sounds like that to me. His career is still blowing up. Her career is going to last maybe 1 more year.

  • JoelinPDX

    You do know that this isn’t a true story? If not, you do now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ae.neuman.1 Ae Neuman

    they belong together.
    beeber is a douchebag supreme.
    gomez is a talentless little fathead who should go back to the mouse

  • wuwu

    WoW! Did she say this for real??? Well as they say, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

  • guest

    sorry, I don’t buy this story for one second. Selena is a lady, a lady who never would talk like that. try something else

  • v

    Where did you hear that she was a lady?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brian.dorton.3 Brian Dorton

    fake

  • George

    You idiot it’s on daily currant!!! It’s COMPLETE satire. Just a fucking joke! Wow stupid fucking people.
    “The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide – now including South Sudan.

    Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence – which presses forward.

    Q. Are your news stories real?

    A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world”

  • Rdnv

    Fake

  • ROBERT DELROSSO

    They say: “Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence – which presses forward.”

    Hmmm. I wonder where they got their “Mission Statement”?

    On the Table of Contents of The Economist Newspaper, we see these words: “First published in Sep 1843 to take part in a severe contest between intelligence, which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress”.

    That’s very original, Daily Currant. But you do write some pretty good satire.

  • Fanalogy

    Well, At Least Jaden Smith Didn’t Complain About Anything Right? >:D http://www.fanalogy.com/m/videos/view/Justin-Bieber-ft-Jaden-Smith-Thinking-About-You-COVER

  • Schnauzer

    How would she know ???

  • Lucky

    I dont believe this story, she wouldn’t do that…never..

  • alibab

    I would have thought he had none what so ever!

  • deadsit

    Wow!!! This disgruntled ex is just vicious.

  • Joe

    She did say that she was only a non-Virgin the first inch.

  • fustian24

    Those other Currant articles are clearly satire.

    But this one rings true.

  • alittleunwell

    Damn dude, a simple “this is satire” would of sufficed, you didn’t have to get a mad on!

  • Jaws

    It’s sheer brilliance that the Daily Currant would project the metric system onto Selena Gomez.

  • D Umbo

    Guess serena dusnt like barber much now hees doing gomez. Theyre kids and shoodnt be having show me yours partys anyway. Hahaha. Mind you I dont show my barber my penis. Specially wen he has his razur out. Maybe thats wy serenas barbers penis is so small. because of the razor. hahahah. But also wy is a chick have a barber? America huh

  • http://www.facebook.com/RetiredSceneQueen Emmali Lucia

    Well this whole website is complete satire. Sooo… The fact that you believed any of this is pretty bad.

  • jessica

    I love dicks can i see it

  • Guest

    D umbo thats not how you spell bieber that iss

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashley.lalumondiere.1 Ashley Lalumondiere

    Ok, i know this is fake but that was funny
    F

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashley.lalumondiere.1 Ashley Lalumondiere

    Unny :P

  • Truth

    Sir, there aren’t even 190 counties. There’s approximately 136, dumbass.

  • John of Indiana

    She wasn’t kidding when she told Letterman “That makes two of us” when Dave said he made the Beaber cry… This probably is more truth than satire.

  • Anonymous

    There are 193.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alan.nix.jr Alan Nix

    LOLOLOL

  • cole sprouse

    REALLY SELENA

  • teddy duncan

    she so nice

  • chowdhuery

    i never belev it…lolz………………she just screwed up in jealousy……….sorry 4 u babe!!!!!

  • belladona

    Pretty mean thing to say about an ex boyfriend by the way but hey! He might be gay and not getting a hard-one because she is a woman.

    If he is I hope he doesn’t wait as long as George Michael to come out the closet.

    I’m so happy I’m not a celebrity with people going crazy over gossip, such a sad world we live in.

  • StayGutta

    Alpha-Bits commercial

  • EducationWerks

    Your comment just gave me cancer.

  • Veronica

    If she has said that, i will remove her from being my favorite girl. Even if it true you don’t say that, not even when you’re angry.

  • Ern

    What do you call a guy with a tiny penis? Answer: Just-in Bieber!

  • sdf

    why not?

  • YaBoyBillNye
  • http://4ftphotoz.postach.io/post/a-childhood-memory 4ftPhotoz

    this is really funny

  • Abhinab

    yes, mail me to see mine

  • Abhinab
  • looniebinn

    “Ladies, unless you’re an Asian midget with a correspondingly miniature vagina – he won’t be able to satisfy you. Sorry.” rofl!

  • JohnQknowitall

    x

  • BTaylor

    It is clear that the Bieber got the better of Selena. Offering that kind of unsolicited information to a reporter tells me that Selena was really burned and needs to grow up. Regardless of whether it is true or false. It’s a complete douchebag act to insult someone in that way. Tactless & tasteless.

  • Sciencefreak

    She said it smells like a truck stop urinal too.

  • ivan

    Anyone who thinks this is true needs a brain transplant. This is a false inteview. She would never say that; why does she keep going back to him if he is that tiny? Furthermore, other video and picture evidence indicates the opposite.

  • The DOTKU

    I love her now! :D

  • Rob

    Why do you people get so mad when people don’t get it? If you get it be happy that you have some sense and shut the fuck up.

  • andrew dude

    Yes you can see mine

  • Yuri Kondratyuk

    Lady, that tiny weird organ on Mr. Bieber is called a clitoris

  • Shinigami

    reading the comments, i fail to comprehend how ppl are so blunt to not realize tat this is a satirical news site and not the real news!

  • AA

    Maybe this is reason why he called it Jerry =’DD

  • Arw Koppen

    Is probably because she don’t excite. Her whole story covers it: it stays small and weak, because it doesn’t grow and bends. I too prefer real women, not her. Both of you look for another.

  • UAlloy

    Shame, you shouldn’t have said that!

  • MadiG

    She might’ve said this cuz she stuck the middle finger up so she might’ve said it or it but its to different for her to say cuz she was on Disney

  • emmy

    guyz sexz are there just 4 the moment but best thing is relationship so be cool

  • exoraluna
  • Rebecca

    Well this is eventually how Disney stars turn out, just ask Miley Cyrus and Vanessa hudgens

  • Inquisitor

    197…

  • RICARDO

    she is lying to scare the ladies

  • B

    A lady who turned into a bitter B@#&h because she got dumped or cheated on!

  • gazza

    Hahaha! No wonder he’s so mad

  • Ryan

    198 now.

  • rylaami

    Umm wow

  • Armywife0704

    This is so fake. Selena is way better than that.

  • JenniferEvette

    thats why she constantly keeps going back to him, she cant get enough of the circus show? lol what a stupid article, again

  • Muna

    Her description made me wanna throw-up. I will never be able to eat alphabet serials again :(

  • cashtext4all.com

    lol…wow, I thought that was true..I knew Gomez would never speak like that.

  • kim

    She doesn’t speak that way. She has class.

  • anon

    Lol his penis is tiny but this is so fake LOL!

  • Socko

    The bigger the tunnel, the smaller the truck!!!!!!

  • Abide_with_Me

    Yeah – figured that out, did ya, moron?

  • Abide_with_Me

    We have here a product of our “educational system”, folks. Run-on sentence, anyone?

  • Abide_with_Me

    Because most people these days are freaking idiots, that’s why.

  • Abide_with_Me

    Here’s a clue for ya, moron….The Daily Currant – The Global Satirical Newspaper of Record

  • ivan

    I know it’s satire; there is another satire piece on him regarding Jesus. But there are dummies even here who would believe it. Even though it’s a fake interview, she is not the goody goody girl the media makes her out to be but that is another story.

  • ivan

    The fact people would believe this crap indicates the maliciousness of articles like this; demeaning people with stories nobody would like if they were the target and not the celebrity. Personally I don’t find it funny.

  • James Russel

    Fuck it, there’s like a million.

  • sra

    this is obviously fake. and your all extremely immature.

  • Emily

    How is this article okay to write and publish, true or not? This is what’s wrong with our society today.

  • Michael

    I would love to fuck Selena gomez

  • concerner

    Absolutely agree with you. Even though it’s tend to be a relax and humorours story. But where is the decency? Even though she’s a star, she should not be this low.

  • lemuel852

    like Alice explained I’m amazed that some people can earn $7154 in a few weeks on the internet. this post w­w­w.J­A­M­20.c­o­m

  • Hekate

    That’s not a tiny weird penis, Selina. That’s Justin’s vagina

  • around

    its just oh-my-god.
    if selena was asian, after this interview, she could be known as crazy and pervert woman.

  • Guys

    Sure!

  • khadijah

    I love him he is sexy I can like my poster of him

  • Kylie

    Omg selena Gomez you near death to get over your self ok and don’t wear a bout just Bieber

  • Kylie

    Omg justin Bieber is so hot and South of them to get her they sot are smocking hot

  • Kylie

    Omg selena Gomez you nead to get over your self and don’t wear a don’t justin Bieber if u are not going out then you nead to stop talking a don’t him behind his back and be a nicer girl

  • Kristen

    Glad someone else read this and called bullshit, too.

  • charliemoney3

    I sense a Law Suit;The Reporter for Lying or Gomez for Libel…either-way, anyone need a Lawyer? The Court must see the Evidence.

  • Liz Carroll

    I’m sure she cares…

    It’s satire you dumbass.. None of the articles on here are true

  • Tena

    Selena’s a sweet girl and can’t hardly believe she would use words like in the article and talk about Justin in that way.

  • Mark Gatton

    This was the funniest thing I’ve heard in weeks mainly because of the people that thinks its real.

  • Dawn Martinez

    It’s probably because she’s too loose for BIG Justin….haha

  • Queen of the hop !!

    The boy needs to come out of the Closet. AM sure a nice black boy would like him for a bottom !! Get a grip Queen, everyone knows!!

  • AwesomeBlueFire

    I honestly thought I had stumbled on a good news source with this article, then I read the one about the House impeaching Obama and realized what it was. Made me kinda sad inside for a moment.

  • Kently Ph

    yougals keep dream ok, i knew it is true!

  • guesty

    So are they implying, with this satirical piece (yes, I *do* realize it’s not for real), that Bieber has actually gotten laid?

  • Kay

    hahaha the Currant is like “The Onion” on youtube, mock news stories for pure entertainment.

  • Judy

    I am not Bieber fan nor Gomez fan, but do you really need to tell that in public? It only shows who and what kind of person you are? Is this how you want to promote and publicize your album?

  • Tam Fisher

    It can’t be too small Selena you was with him for 5 yrs so something was right!!!!!! Stop being like all these other girls oit here trying too destroy someone!!!!! Fuck you and all thos bieber haters out there, no bieber fever but the kid does good stuff cut him a break damn!!!!

  • Fried Chicken

    but she sucked it anyways

  • dbarto667

    The Internet is well on its way to hell.God help all of us.

  • Quinn

    OH NOEZ SHE WONT B U R FAVRT GURL NO MOAR OH NOEZ

  • Wiley Koyote

    Maybe she’s been humping some big guys coz she is “liberated” and she simply outgrew him…

  • Aya
  • DC

    There are around 200 countries in the world.. and that # changes from time to time, FYI.

  • Vedeka

    Hey, calling Justin Bieber a woman is degrading to women.

  • http://nhieekhieetah0721.tumblr.com/ Nikkita Piandong

    just don’t think that Selena would talk about that thing so straight-forward. though it’s very funny.

  • wat

    Ha!

  • jess

    who ant she slept with and said that about the guy ..hey girl u boobs are to small i think u need fake boobs like the rest of woman like u

  • http://virtualstone.us emeleste

    Well. That was about the most tacky, idiotic waste of reading time I’ve encountered since reading “May contain nuts” on a package of peanuts served to me on an airplane. SMH. This isn’t “satire”. It’s just silly and sophomoric.

  • Pastor Randy Edgar

    I can’t stand Bieber but I sure wish she would have shown more class than that.

  • blueeyes23

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHALMAO! Best comment ever!

  • txazpa

    you are a real azz

  • Marxist

    But yet you read it Em!

  • http://virtualstone.us emeleste

    Ah..you got me there! But in my defense, I’d never even heard of “The Daily Currant”. Someone on my FB newsfeed posted the link to this article and, silly me, I was curious what Ms. Selena might have said about the Biebs. Found out The Currant probably isn’t my cup ‘o tea humor-wise. That’s okay. At least next time I see a link going to it, I’ll know what rag it is!

  • Reverend Wingnut

    “Buwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!”

  • Wayne R Harrison

    ROTFLMFaOOOoOOOOLMFBOOOO,Selena would know about,justin Bieber,s Dick,since she,s made the mistake of going out with him

  • Kevin O’connor

    Hello.Before you continue to comment,please go look up the word satire.The Daily Currant is a humor site.None of the content is real.It’s a joke.If you seem to believe it,people will think that you are not smart.

  • Amaru Yuma

    Justine Bieber is a Boy ? I thinked ever shes a Girl !

  • Steve Frank

    jewish media keeping non jews entertained with stupid stuff so they never wake up to what’s happening in the real world.

  • 1-877-929-7168

    better lower insurance

  • jimarn

    way to spread hate daily currant..a lot of people are not aware of satire or what it even means. so they take for gospel what you write and start hating on people because you wanted to make something of nothing. and no one reads the little things you put up there to make them realise its not true, they just see the person the story and then off they go to spread your hate, well done daily currant

  • Guest

    ^This guys post got approval when he’s advertising and I can’t voice my opinion? Bullshit site man :p Almost as bullshit as this news.

  • moop

    Seems legit

  • johnnyfreemanking

    how crass, not for me.

  • Rex Rod

    Grow up and get a sense of humor.

  • dafuq

    dafuq

  • jizzman

    bieber fuck you
    small coocher

  • Your Everything

    guess the daily currant wants to be sued. Hope they do. Clearly this is fake

  • Thisiscnn

    In other news…water is wet.

  • kayla

    did she actually say all of that?

  • A. van Nerel
  • Catherine Patten

    wow while I don’t believe this to be true; if it is how unclassy is this beach?

  • Diane Papke

    this is so disgusting whether its true or not

  • Name

    199 and counting…

  • Ralff Ing

    Tiny Bieber!

  • misterioso

    Too late. It takes intelligence.

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    Poor Justin… maybe he could get some pointer’s from Bill Clinton on working with a disjointed johnson.

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    BWAAAAHAAHA

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    Justin-case might have both ‘needful things’… could be true!

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    Get a grip you idiot… this is The Daily Currant, not The New York Times. Why do they let liberals read this stuff?

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    No, you’re both wrong… there are 196 countries in our world today.

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    Damn right… and maybe even two million on some days!

  • Eric Haulenbeek

    God bless you jessica!

  • Panther13

    You are a disgusting little witch. You and Beiber belong together. You have stooped to the lowest of any in your ranks to talk this way. You are no role model to my girls and thank God they don’t care anything about you in the first place because their morals are way above yours. You need Jesus.

  • Panther13

    BS,,wake up.. She is no lady, in fact far from it.

  • Messi

    fukc ooff

  • Messi

    urs to