Rob Ford Claims He Has Twin Brother

May 18, 2013

ford-crack-051713_lead_media_image_1Toronto mayor Rob Ford has refuted allegations he was caught on tape smoking crack cocaine by claiming he has an identical twin brother.

In an interview this morning with Sun News, the embattled politician affirmed that the video was authentic but insisted that the man doing crack wasn't him.

"I will admit that a man with my appearance is abusing an illegal substance in this video," Ford told AM Agenda anchor Alex Pierson, "but I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that it's not me.

"Few people know this, but I actually have a twin brother named Mike. And Mike and I ... well, we've taken very different paths in life. While I've become the leader of Canada's largest city, he's been battling addiction to all sorts of substances: alcohol, heroin, speed and crack.

"It appears from this video that Mike is back on the pipe. Now I haven't seen my brother in months, so I would just like to say, 'If you're listening Mike, please get help. You have a problem and you need professional care. Just give me or your sister a call. We'll make sure you get into rehab.' "

Magnet for Controversy

Rob Ford has been Toronto's mayor since 2010 and has battled a great number of personal controversies. He was arrested in 1999 in Florida for driving under the influence, thrown out of a Maple Leafs game in 2006 for being too drunk, and accused of racial insensitivity in 2008 by saying, "The Orientals, they're slowly taking over."

Since taking office he's also seen his share of political scandals, including allegations of campaign finance abuse, a lengthy trial for conflict of interest in fundraising, and a bizarre incident where Ford was investigated for placing campaign refrigerator magnets on parked cars.

These latest allegations involve a video seen by the Toronto Star in which Ford is apparently smoking a crack pipe and using homophobic slurs to refer to Liberal leader Justin Trudeau.

The video has been also been shown to Gawker, a U.S. gossip website, which is currently trying to raise money to purchase the tape and release it to the public.

Magic Mike

In a press conference yesterday Ford called the crack video accusations "ridiculous" but offered little in the way explanation. And today's twin brother defense is failing to quell skeptics, since no record of such a person actually exists.

"Mr. Ford, we've done extensive research on your family in preparation for this interview," said anchor Alex Pierson, "and we found no record of any twin brother. No birth certificate, no Social Insurance number, no school records.

"Mr. Ford, do you actually have a twin brother, or is this some elaborate plot to avoid responsibility for your drug use?"

"Quite frankly I am outraged that you would question my sincerity," Ford responded. "This whole controversy is just the Toronto Star trying to use my brother's misfortunes in life against me. It's disgusting. It's pathetic. And when we find Mike and get him into treatment, I expect a personal apology from each and every member of the media.

"I've got a missing brother on drugs who could be God knows where right now. And all these so-called journalists are doing is exploiting family tragedy for their gain."

A spokesperson for the Star said they stand by their reporting and have no plans to apologize.

  • hhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………wait….wait, i’m not done. hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahaahahahaahahahaa;sdkjfaowejfpasdkcjpawdcaod

  • Sigh. People are reporting this as if it were news instead of parody.

  • I think Mike may have been filling in in Council for the last couple months…

  • RevChuck
  • good to see he cared before if true

  • Goes to show just how stupid and easily lead the people of Toronto really are. if people of Toronto believe this twin brother story and don’t kick this guy to the curb than Toronto has to delcared the most stupid city on the planet.

  • RobFordtheLaughingSow

    Give it Rob Ford!!! Quit while your crack pipe is still smoking… Mike did his research and you don’t have a twin… Nice touch with the fake twitter account of your “twin brothers name”… You are a disgrace to Toronto and Canada… If you have a twin, then I’m Madonna and Cher’s twin… LOL

  • RobFordtheLaughingSow

    Let me guess Rob Ford… It was your alleged twin brother that beat your wife, sexually harassed females, made homophobic remarks, and is a drunken train wreck in the photo’s too??? Give it up… Your day’s are numbered…

  • me

    in other breaking news Mike was actually the one who won the election and Rob gave his bro $40 for crack if he’d let him be the mayor….Mike accepted

  • Rob Ford’s career has always been miscategorised as news instead of satire.

  • ALB

    So…you guys all get that this is satire, right?

  • Just wondering how a drug-addicted, “missing” twin has a Twitter account – LOL!

  • Sandi Madison

    this is just embarrassing. seriously. Why is he still in office?

  • booo

    If you can’t see that this website is satirical, then you’re no better.

  • MSDragonSlayer

    When did they create the rule that men running for public office had to have an IQ of less than 20?
    Take heart Mr. Ford! If you ever get kicked out of that office, you could become an MS Neuro like Freedman and Murray or a CEO like Savoie. Some days it is so hard to tell you mental midgets apart.

  • Mel

    Daily Currant and The Onion always remind me of Poe’s Law… that on the internet a parody of extremism and actual extremism can be hard to tell apart without an explicit message saying it’s parody, or if you don’t explore further. See: the Landover Baptist Church website versus actual groups with extreme beliefs. I’d say especially so when the parody passes through social media. 😛

    Except for fake news replace “extremism” with “the ridiculousness of real life” or “the media circus” (or both). Well played, Daily Currant — well played. I LOL’d! >:D

  • Mel
  • [email protected]

    U piece of crap … are an embarrassed to Toronto… LOOSER… quit if you have any pride left…..

  • Coolcooker

    Does this guy ever stop? Gotta give him a couple of points for creativity, though.

  • where is the video

  • jayydee92

    Yes Rick, we’re all f**king idiots up here. Glad your excellent deduction skills are being put to great use.

  • I wonder what Dougie has to say about this, haha

  • andthereyago

    way too many of these dumb satirical sites. then there’s way too many sensational journalism sites. on top of that the world is getting crazier. it is hard to know what is “real” or a “joke” these days.

  • 0-}=fet=Knight=>

    Famly additions…drugs, or power which is worse. Fords addiction has sold everything the city of Toronto owned for the suburbs. Tried to intorduce organized crime by promoting a casino, and has no regard for the laws he has been sworn in by. So just who has hurt more people?

  • zeitgeist333

    “Tried to introduce organized crime” … really? You think “organized crime” hasn’t and won’t continue to exist before and after this joke of a politician is gone? People are so naive… Canada is not immune to organized crime, hello!!! Wake UP, this guy is clearly an idiot but he’s just ONE extremely well-publicized idiot, the issue here is larger.

  • Damnit, Rick. You are a dull boy.

  • SP

    He is the youngest of four. He states to his “twin brother MIKE” to call him or his sister (Kathy). At Doug Ford Holdings he (Rob) serves as one of the directors along with his 2 brothers Doug and Randy and their mother Diane. Well folks (Rob, Doug, Randy, Kathy) that makes four. Hmmmmmmmm wonder which one is nick named “Mike”????

  • Colbster

    He’s a phoney. Hey everybody, this guy’s a phoney! A great big phoney!

  • richard

    When it comes to Rob Ford, it’s legitimately hard to tell.

  • Morgon

    Easy to prove, ask to see the mayor’s birth certificate. The long form always says if it was a single or multiple birth

  • Leia

    How has there been no follow up to the “I have an identical twin” claim?! I’d love to that lie well and truly dismantled by some investigative journalism and have Ford well and truly shamed for his brazen lying.

  • Leia

    *to see that lie… (Whoops! Typo.)

  • torontosucks

    Hey stupid this is satire, yeah toronto is filled with retards like you

  • lakesidesunrise

    Mike? from Canmore?