Michael Douglas Claims Foreplay Causes Heart Disease

Jun 05, 2013

img_18122_behind-the-candelabra-interview-of-michael-douglas-at-le-festival-de-cannes-2105Actor Michael Douglas claimed today that engaging in foreplay before sex is linked to an increased risk of heart disease.

In an interview with French news channel BFM-TV, the 68-year-old Hollywood star said he thoroughly enjoyed foreplay with his wife until he found out it was literally killing him.

"It was my favorite thing to do," he explained. "You know all that kissing, embracing, and slow petting stuff. But I did a little research online, and it turns out it's extremely dangerous.

"Apparently if you engage in foreplay before intercourse your body has trouble making the transition from going slow to going fast. It produces a number of pro-inflammatory substances called cytokines to help cope.

"But a number of these substances - including C Reactive Protein (CRP) - have been linked to the development of atherosclerotic heart disease. So the healthiest option is to jump right into it with no buildup."

STDs Never Sleep

Douglas is an actor and producer best known for his work on Wall Street, The Game, and Traffic. He is also the eldest son of famed acting legend Kirk Douglas.

In recent days, however, Douglas is better known for his comments about oral gratification. In an interview this week he claimed that his throat cancer was caused by performing cunnilingus, presumably upon his wife, actress Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Medical experts have confirmed that the HPV virus can be transmitted orally and has been linked to head in neck cancers in men and cervical cancers in women. Some have urged for the vaccination of men to protect against the disease, which is currently only recommended for women.

But Douglas seems to have found a silver lining in his ordeal: an excuse to focus on healthier, more male-focused activities.

"Thankfully most women are already vaccinated, so performing oral sex upon their partner doesn't pose the same risks," he added, "as long as you wear protection and avoid foreplay, going down, and cuddling - you can have a disease-free pleasure."

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  • vito33

    The cartoon today in the NY Daily News shows a caricature of Douglas with the caption:
    “Me and my big mouth!”

  • Merry Weather

    I guess Mrs. Zeta-Jones will be looking elsewhere for a little excitement!

  • Ima Kidder

    “Don’t eat that the Juice will kill you.” Wise cautions from the past.