Exxon CEO Stranded on Iceberg Off Greenland’s Coast

Jun 10, 2013

800px-Antarctic,_iceberg_(js)_10The CEO of oil giant ExxonMobil is stranded off the coast of Greenland after a company exploration ship hit an iceberg.

According to a press release, Rex Tillerson was on the ship to check up on the development of the firm's Disko Bay oil field when the vessel unexpectedly ran into one of the increasing number of icebergs floating in the area.

Within an hour the exploration ship had sunk, and its fifteen passengers and crew climbed onto the ice where they are waiting to be rescued. Authorities in Greenland say they lack the capability to mount a such an operation, and are appealing to nearby Canada for help.

"Unfortunately we don't have any suitable boats or helicopters," says Lars Sand Videnskab, head of the Greenland Coast Guard. "The Canadians say they're coming, but it looks like Tillerson and his friends are gonna be out there for at least 12 more hours.

"With all this global warming, there are more and more icebergs out there. Something like this was bound to happen eventually."

Cold Hard Truths

Since the early 20th century, global temperatures have been climbing, and the rate at which this warming is occurring has increased in recent decades.

Over 90 percent of scientists agree that climate change is the result of human activities, most notably the burning of fossil fuels which release carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

One of the most visible signs of this effect has been the melting of ice in Greenland and Antarctica, where icebergs have been cleaving off from ice sheets and floating out into sea. Ironically this polar thawing has also allowed oil companies to explore for new resources in areas which had hitherto been under ice cover.

Exxon was hoping to exploit these resources in Greenland, but like other oil majors in the Arctic it appears to have run into some trouble.

"This is bulls**t," Tillerson says in an exclusive interview from his satellite phone. "The number of icebergs isn't increasing. The Earth isn't warming. CO2 isn't rising. It's all a bunch of liberal, environmental bulls**t.

"Yeah, we crashed into an iceberg while looking for oil. So what? There've always been icebergs up here, and there always will be. Global warming my ass it's f**king freezing out here!"

Keith Ashfield, Canadian minister for fisheries and the oceans, says his government is working to rescue the Exxon crew as fast as possible.

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