Ann Coulter Shoots Black Cat on Neighborhood Watch

Jul 18, 2013

Coulter-CarConservative commentator Ann Coulter was arrested by police in Palm Beach, Florida last night after shooting a black cat while on neighborhood watch.

According to local news reports, Coulter thought the feline fit the "profile" of a burglar, and fired a shot in its direction. The bullet grazed the feline's left paw and left superficial damage. It is expected to make a full recovery.

The incident occurred on Coulter's second night of patrolling for her local neighborhood watch, which she joined last week out of solidarity with George Zimmerman.

She is expected to be charged Friday and will face a maximum 3-year prison term and/or $100,000 fine for endangering the welfare of an animal.

"We take animal rights very seriously here in the state of Florida," says Lt. Jack Horner, of the Florida State Police. "You can't just fire a weapon at a black cat and expect to get away with it scot-free."

Cat Scratch Fever

Neighborhood watch programs have been under increased scrutiny since George Zimmerman shot an unarmed black teenager in Sanford, Florida last year.

Zimmerman claimed he acted in self-defense and was acquitted this weekend of all charges. But some say the case illustrates the danger of allowing untrained, armed civilians fight crime.

Coulter appeared to have been inspired by Zimmerman's vigilantism, according to Connie Rubirosa, the local prosecutor.

"After interviewing the suspect, it seems Ms. Coulter joined neighborhood watch specifically to shoot at black things without being punished,"she says. "Little did she know we have very strict animal cruelty laws here in Florida. She will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

In a statement on her official Tumblr page, however, Coulter said she acted in self-defense against a dangerous breed of feline.

"Black cats are more dangerous than white cats," the post reads. "They're more violent, prone to aggressive behavior, and often lick puddles outside of bars hoping to get drunk.

"Don't get me wrong, I've met a few black cats that were well-behaved. My cat at home even has a few black friends. But overall these are dangerous animals, and I believe I acted appropriately.

"What would you do if a drunk black cat leaped out in front of you in the middle of the night? There've been so many burglaries in this area. You can't blame me for protecting myself."

Animal rights groups have hailed the prosecution, saying that violence against animals deserves punishment. Some civil rights groups, however, seem perplexed that Coulter could be facing more time than Zimmerman.

"I think what Coulter did was terrible and should be prosecuted," says Mona Fredricks, an activist based in Chicago. "But it seems to me that black cats have better legal protections in Florida than black people."

  • Cynthia Piscatelli

    lock the crazy bitch up and throw away the key!

  • Bart

    Obviously.. you think this is a real story…. sad.

  • Nik Edmiidz

    This site isn’t as funny as the Onion, so sometimes it’s hard to tell.

  • http://www.caricatureartonline.com frank marshall davis

    This site appeals to progressive/alinskyites who find any behavior a right and opinion that disagrees with homosexuality special privileges,abortion health,christianity,self defense or sharia, hate speech & bigoted and to be “sophmorically” ridiculed…per alinsky rule,..

  • Grammar Police

    You have a couple typos in this article :-)

  • ralph

    that almost looked like it was going to have a point/make sense

    but then it didn’t

  • DailyCurrant

    Not as silly, rather.

  • D Umbo

    Is it the cat buglar that got away then? MY frends sometimes say Ime a cat. Ime not black but ize a cat..haha. Shes a babe she can try and shoot at me anytyme but ide be too qwik. Pshwing. Pshwing. Yoo missed me baby. butter luck nex time baby… anywone know were she liv?

  • madkow007

    http://www.bradblog.com/?page_id=4019 here’s her voting record papers

  • Stevie K.

    Throw this woman in jail for three years. The fine will mean nothing to her. Ann Coulter does this kind of stuff for attention and publicity. She must have a book coming out.Ann Coulter needs to be made an example of.

  • D Umbo

    Truth is i dont need to now were she livs. If shes intrested she can come find me. I now how to keep chics on tenderhooks. haha

  • Tina Taylor

    what if the cat were white?

  • lisa741

    as Ricky replied I’m surprised that any one can get paid $5332 in 4 weeks on the internet. have you seen this site w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

  • shivabeach

    Hey anne, as a neighborhood watch person you cant shoot a “suspect” without the police being there. Thats not stand your ground. Thats just you being just plain stupid you

    (Just practicing for when she does this for real)

  • http://twitter.com/sylar_5 sylar_5

    Not to mention that black cats bring bad luck when crossing the street from left to right before you.

  • Joe Gould

    its a cat

  • crazybaldhead

    who are you calling rather, Daily?

  • chazmanr

    It is satire. Don’t feel too bad, plenty of politicians (almost all of them R’s) have made the mistake of citing the Daily Currant on the floors of many a state legislature.

    What is it with conservatives and their lack of both the humor and shame gene?

  • fratdawgg23

    “Connie Rubirosa”

    Brilliant!

  • CAPA

    Please Tell me this is True!!! Please give this bitch the maximum punishment!! BTW I thought witches liked black cats?

  • Samantha Thompson

    He’s a warlock, big difference.

  • RICARDO

    crazy bitch hater she mustve had a very bad childhood seriously something bad traumatic happened to her she is evil evil hope she pays for the killing of pets

  • Navybrat

    Do you really believe this story is real??!! Look up the word “satire” in your dictionary.

  • Navybrat

    “Tenderhooks”??? LOL, perhaps you mean “tenterhooks”! I don’t know many “chics” who would be interested in someone who is semi-literate. Your whole comment is a mess. I think your user name suits you.

  • marysrn

    Coulter and Santorum should get together…between them they could buy some brain cells. She needs to be rid of that gun before she shoots someone, and Santorum’s wife will be SO much better off without the likes of him in her house!!!!

  • Diane

    If true, it certainly would be an Ann Counter deed. She is as vile as they come. A rattlesnake is more lovable than this zombie.

  • BRICE TUCHER

    The evil foul meth junkie transsexual COULTER will like prison with other nasty twisted evil males like herself . She can use ALL her foul holes there 24/7

  • heather

    I was looking for anything to tell me this was a fake story. lol!

  • 71MAV

    I’ve been wondering what ever happened to Connie. Glad to know she’s still one of the good guys.

  • disqus_eric

    Was the cat wearing a hoodie and carrying a bag of scattles?

  • FaithInJustice

    Cynthia, I’m at a loss for words for your stupid comment.

  • Davey Jones

    Has this hit Drudge yet? Or is it made up out of thin air?

Close