Rand Paul Says Chris Christie’s Wife Is A ‘Fat Slut’, Has Cooties

Aug 20, 2013

Rand-Paul-on-Fox-News-Hannity-ScreenshotSen. Rand Paul dramatically escalated his feud with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today by blasting his longtime wife in a highly personal attack.

In an interview with a local Louisville television station, the Kentucky libertarian unloaded on Mary Pat Christie, a well-regarded former bond trader and charity organizer.

The incident began this morning when WHAS anchor Bruce Nolan asked Paul why Christie refused to accept his offer to end their weeks-long argument over a pint of beer.

"I think Chris Christie has just been in a bad mood lately," Paul replied, "and I don't blame him. If my wife were a fat slut, I'd be pretty irritable too. Everyone in Washington hears the stories. Bob Menendez has told me some wild ones.

"Let's just say the only girl I know sluttier than Chris Christie's wife works a street corner outside a prison housing sex offenders. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm a libertarian and I believe in legalizing prostitution. But he must be going though some real hell at home right now.

"But this isn't just about his personal life. It also affects his readiness to be commander-in-chief. How can Chris Christie be expected to face down terrorists when he can't even keep his own wife in line?"

Blue State, Red Light

Paul and Christie have been engaged in a highly visible spat over the past few weeks, with each blasting the other's views on foreign policy, taxation, Obamacare and other issues in the national media.

Many have noted the row represents a growing divide in the Republican Party, with Paul representing the insurgent libertarians and Christie the establishment conservatives.

The argument has seen several low blows, including Christie invoking the families of Sept. 11 victims to blast Paul over his isolationist foreign policy stance. But in going after a political rival's spouse today Paul has set a new low, and Nolan felt compelled to challenge him over his unnecessary attack.

"Why do you characterize Christie's wife in such highly provocative terms?" he demanded. "Everything I've heard about her has been glowingly positive. She seems like an devoted wife and mother. What proof do you have of these charges?'

"Well, Bruce, I have it on good authority that Mary Pat Christie has tested positive for cooties," Paul responded, "and everyone knows you can only get cooties by kissing boys. I've also heard she smells yucky and has showed her underwear on the jungle gym, but those are unconfirmed reports at this stage."

Paul has served as Kentucky's junior senator since 2011. He is the son of libertarian icon and former Texas congressman Ron Paul.

  • Pat Driscoll

    DISGUSTING.

  • Wrenchound

    and you will vote for this guy I am sure …..lol

  • debS14

    He should be ashamed to show his face in public.

  • newsalt1

    This man needs to be taught some manners

  • Elaine Steskal

    IT is a stupid joke.

  • Zoel Kennedy

    his wife just might be a fat slut…maybe he is telling the truth…

  • Marc Kessler

    Good one

  • Quebee

    For once and for all (referencing Wikipedia)….
    “The Daily Currant is an American satirical news blog that focuses on politics, technology, and entertainment. A number of its satirical stories have been taken for true news reports by press and members of the public.”
    Get a grip… this is where I’d expect FOX to get its “Breaking News”!

  • Jorge Deneira

    Hey Rand do you mind saying that to Chris Christie’s face?

  • Peter Franzi

    It’s satire, folks. Lighten up.

  • Paul Milo

    The confusion stems from the fact that The Daily Currant is not funny. I don’t mean it’s offensive, I mean you can almost hear the crickets chirping after they try and make a “joke.” There’s no wit or cleverness here; shocking is not the same thing as satirical. Where’s the humor in Ron Paul slinging a third-grade-level insult at the wife of Chris Christie?
    The DC is like a lobotomized version of The Onion or The Daily Show.

  • Jason

    It’s not about being funny it’s about being stupid. the only thing is republicans can’t recognize the joke in reaching so far out there that it seems stupid b/c their party spokespeople do the same exact thing every single day. insanity is the republican party these days. If i could give equal parts of my brain to each of you republicans, the country and world would be fixed.

  • Ohjeezareez

    I fell for it, but I thin because I wanted it to be true, loll. sweet

  • Paul Milo

    Uh, I’m not a Republican, I’m a registered Democrat. So feel free to hang on to all your brain’s parts.

  • Herp Derp

    Hey dumbass it’s called satire.

  • Matthew Brown

    It’s fake satire.

  • Matthew Brown

    It’s satire.

  • Matthew Brown

    It’s called satire.

  • Lori Fleener-Powers

    Yes this is satire but what is very telling is that people weren’t sure whether to believe it or not. Doesn’t say much for Mr. Paul.

  • disqus_BhsOhq4q8O

    All I can say is I hope Chris has a sense of Humor , I do not think he will find it funny since the comments were directed toward his family.

  • Marion Miranda-Keane

    What a raciest, sexist creep, you need to have you’re head examined, would not trust you to take care of my dog, never mind my country !

  • hank

    He looks like a Munchkin

  • John Brown

    They should publish a “satire” about Obama saying how he could have been the Australian baseball player. Libs, was that too soon? Was that too hateful? Nothing ever hateful about your satire though (see above)

  • Michelle

    The problem with satire lately is that it could be truth so it’s hard to tell the difference.

  • Burnt Popsicle

    Satire…take a better look at the site…

  • James Russel

    Well. I trust Dr. Paul to know what he’s talking about. I’m sure it’s true.

  • TopAssistant

    Christie is a damn RINO/GOP and I have more respect for a pimp
    than I do him. Come to think of it, a RINO is a pimp!

    The late Alabama governor George Wallace once said, “There’s not a dime’s worth of difference between Republicans and Democrats.” Both Republicans and Democrats agree on taking our money. Where they differ is what to spend it on. A Democrat like Senator Edward Kennedy agrees to
    take our earnings and give them to cities and poor people. A Republican
    like Senator Elizabeth Dole agrees to take our earnings and give them to
    farmers and failing businesses.
    We know the goal of the Democrat Party is to destroy America in every way possible however, the RINO/GOP leadership/followers are close behind.

    “In America, we have a two-party system,” a Republican congressional staffer is supposed to have told a visiting group of Russian legislators some years ago. “There is the stupid party. And there is the evil party. I
    am proud to be a member of the stupid party.” He added: “Periodically, the two parties get together and do something that is both stupid and evil. This is called–bipartisanship.”
    Reference the above piece using this permanent URL: http://www.vdare.com/fulford/miller_etc.htm#stupid

  • anthonymeans

    who is more dumb? the people who believe these articles are real or the jackasses who need to explain to morons that it’s satire?

  • Abide_with_Me

    Apparently you qualify on the second count, jackass.

  • Abide_with_Me

    That is the basis of satire, if you didn’t realize it. Just enough “truth” to make dimbulbs think it’s factual. Stupid is as stupid does.

  • Abide_with_Me

    Seems to me the most ranting is coming from the leeches in the libtard community. But don’t let facts hit you in the a$$.

  • Abide_with_Me

    Are you really that stupid that you’d think he would make a statement like that for the record? It’s satire! The entire site is based on satire! What a bunch of dumbasses – from both parties!

  • filmexec

    Qb, You got it wrong this is the kind of story that MSNBC will report with a “Tingle” up their Leg! MSNBC has been caught many more times fabricating News than Fox. Don’t let you prejudice get the Better of you! LOL!

  • John McCaffery

    I love this. Shows how stupid Americans are buying into a satire site. USA USA USA!

  • John McCaffery

    He would if he ever got away from the buffet, google ‘satire’ dumbass

  • John McCaffery

    Good. Its good you love abortion. If you cant tell satire from real news, you could use one.

  • James Stephens

    This is satire

  • James Stephens

    Satire

  • http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EvidencefortheBible/ Galut1

    how many of the sheeple are lead right to the slaughter house ? … not unlike the third Reich of pre ww2 Germany !

  • http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EvidencefortheBible/ Galut1

    Evil is as Evil does … Baked half truths become internet rumors