Santorum Blames ‘Homosexuals’ For Government Shutdown

Oct 10, 2013

darksantorumFormer Senator Rick Santorum fingered gay men today as the cause of the ongoing federal government shutdown.

In an interview with the Christian broadcaster CBN News, the Pennsylvania Republican argued that risky sexual practices of male homosexuals stoked the rise in health care costs that prompted Obamacare.

In the studio to discuss his recent documentary on how Oscar Wilde masterminded the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, Santorum also shared his thoughts on the ongoing shutdown of the U.S. federal government.

"I don't think Republicans are to blame here," he claimed. "This shutdown is clearly the work of homosexuals. First it was San Francisco, then marriage and now this. The gays just can't stop screwing things up for the rest of us."

"I'm sorry, I don't quite understand," host Chuck Anderson responded. "Gays have certainly ruined marriage. But how are they to blame for the government shutdown?"

"Chuck, it's simple," Santorum continued. "Gay sex gone wrong is the number one cause of emergency room visits in this country. I have a friend who works in the ER, and he tells me all the horror stories: dildos stuck inside rectums, accidental condom inhalations, broken light bulbs up the anus.

"I mean it's sickening. It really is sickening. But more than that it's also extremely expensive. Can you imagine what it costs to remove a Nintendo Wii remote from someone's colon?

"Gays are single-handedly responsible for the rise in health care costs in this country, which set the stage for Obamacare and thus the shutdown. The media needs to stop blaming the GOP and look at the real problem."

Brokeback Nation

The federal government has been shut down since Oct. 1, after Republicans in the House of Representatives refused to pass any spending bills until President Obama agrees to repeal the Affordable Care Act, popularly known as Obamacare.

Recent polls suggest that more Americans blame Republicans for the shutdown than Democrats, and Santorum appears to be the first to suggest gay sex as a root cause.

"Frankly I think the (Human Rights Campaign) and other so-called gay rights groups should apologize," he blasted. "Why should the rest of us hard-working taxpayers be subsidizing their lifestyle?

"Think of the message we're sending America's youth: 'Go ahead and have sex. Do it however you like, however hard you like, with whoever you like ... and when you're in the hospital with a bottle of Tabasco sauce lodged inside your rectum, don't worry: Obamacare's got you covered.' Is this the America we want to live in?"

Santorum served as a U.S. senator from Pennsylvania from 1995 to 2007. He finished second to Mitt Romney in the 2012 Republican presidential primaries.

  • Guest

    Gays are not the only ones who end up in the ER. He is just focusing on gays because he is disapproving of the gay lifestyle. This just sounds like an ignorant man promoting a ridiculous idea. The comment that the Human Rights Campaign and other gay-rights groups should apologize is absurd; they don’t owe him, or anyone, an apology. The apology needs to come from him for making those idiotic statements!

  • Ian Hayden Parker

    “Rick Santorum fingered gay men today” love it!

  • Mike

    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2011/12/rick-santorum-says-ill-daughter-inspires-him-to-stay-the-course/

    I am thankful that we have health insurance to cover all of God’s people. The gays of San Francisco and Mr. Santorum’s 7 children, especially his daughter who is so ill. I pray for her and his family every day. Where Mr. Santorum’s hatred comes from, I do not know. Is he angry at God due to his daughter’s illness, or his unfulfilled political ambitions? I just hope God will help Mr. Santorum with his hate campaign and help him live a full and loving life.

  • Eric

    Guy, it’s a satire article. You should always source check your articles.

  • alan s

    IS this satire or real? I can’t tell anymore…

  • Poe

    This site is a satirical news site. But since it’s not clearly identified as such, Poe’s Law http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law applies.

  • Charles Hranek

    Totally agree and makes more sense because Obama is Gay too

  • texasaggie

    Neither. It’s prognostication.

  • Robert Haugh

    I’m sitting here laughing out loud at this, asking the same question.And you’re right, the Republicans put out so much verbal insanity, That it’s hard to know whats satire, and whats real.(Republican real)

  • douglaspatrickaucoin

    Oh my god, thank you for pointing that out! I missed it!

  • Screwtape

    heh. “Former Senator Rick Santorum fingered gay men today”

  • Mary Balderson

    “All God’s people” live in the US ? WOW !

  • Ian Hayden Parker

    Agreed. Someone sent me this link, from Facebook, and it sounded so ridiculous, even for a republican, I immediately started browsing the site. When I saw an article that Bachmann had been arrested in Iran (only in my dreams) did I realize it was satire and I visited the “about us” page where they clearly label the site as satire.

  • Ian Hayden Parker

    The website’s “about us” page clearly states the site is satire. When in doubt, look for the “about us” link on websites. I had to research because this even sounded unbelievable for a republican.

  • The Bechtloff

    OK at this point I’m thinking Santorum is just a self loathing closet case. The lady doth protest too much methinks.

  • Gary Morvant

    Its the gay blame game..we are not family friendly . Well many families have gay family members . Wake up its 2013..Many gay charity groups help with costs..

  • Ben Tousey

    It fascinates me that, while I know this is satire, Rick Santorum is just insane enough that he might try something like this.
    But I’ve always suspected he like fingering gay men, he was just too afraid to admit it.

  • Larry Arnold

    How do you know he is gay? Did you actually see him doing a gay thing? You sir are an idiot!!!!

  • Jim Dunbar

    Satire or not. ACA will give all the Sanitations of the GOP a vehicle to have their mental faculties checked out at cheap rates. Then we can determine for sure whether Bachmann (aka Miley) is certifiable. We can be rest assured all her guns will be confiscated, she will be deposited in a locked ward, padded cell, where she can lip sync all the Miley songs she wants. Poor dear.

  • Sisi Ville

    Rick, if you are so anti-gay then why are you fingering the gay menz????

  • dominickJ

    OK it’s Satire BUT it’s very sick satire!

  • thejudy64

    They Republicans come up with such Stupid ideas, that I thought this was true also !! LOL !! It is harder and harder to tell the Truth from Lies these days !! Especially if it is about a Republican !!

  • William Beasley

    How can a rational person respond to such a f***ing nut case as this. Sounds like he has A LOT of EXPERIENCE with THINGS UP HIS AS*-probably his HEAD most of the time!!!!!!!!

  • clementinesalmassi321

    my Aunty Elena got a real nice Porsche Boxster by working off of a
    computer… Read Full Report J­a­m­2­0­.­ℂ­o­m

  • SoCalVet

    It’s so close to real you can barely tell it’s satire. Good job.

  • http://jerrypritikin.blogspot.com Jerry Pritikin The Bleacher

    Out of the mouth of Rick Santorum comes the same thing that comes out his other end. He is without a doubt the dumbest person who ever was a Senator of Pennsyvainia!

  • RK

    WoW! This guy is supposed to be educated? He makes a blooming idiot look Sane!

  • Rik Johnston Lives

    I knew there was a good reason the word “Former” was in front of his title. This guy is an embarrassment to human beings everywhere.

  • Den West

    Rick Santorum I think…. Protests to much about GAYS. Maybe it is because he is one in hiding????

  • Marcus Scottus

    That’s the thing though…it’s NOT that ridiculous for a repiglican. It’s the sort of bullshit that exudes from their mouthanuses 24/7

  • Treehugger

    It’s satire people!

  • TazMage

    Sick Rectorum is at it again I see……how gay!

  • Bodom

    I’m with ya.. it sounds eerily imaginable..

  • wtfff
  • BradleyHart

    So is the man who coined the term Party of Personal Responsibility coming out as a gay man

  • Josef

    This obsession is the obvious sign that Santorum is gay

  • Ghostdreams

    EXACTLY! It’s completely plausible that a right wing wack could say this kind of off the wall crap. Then they wonder why the whole planet see’s them as idiots.

  • Zep’s Dad

    Gay men appreciated it, but ask that perhaps next time, instead of giving lip service, he just lie back and let them show him the magic.

  • Doug

    If I had to guess, I’d say that Mr. Hranek left out the tag.

  • Doug

    …the sarcasm tag.

  • Doug

    “Rick Santorum is just insane enough that he might try something like this.” That’s the hallmark of good satire. :)

  • John Hersey

    It’s like an African Newspaper on April 1st – you can’t tell the difference between the news and the satire.

  • pdm

    omg he’s right I had my gay gallbladder out last year

  • Bruce Kogan

    This has to be some kind of joke.

  • Reshell

    I have been researching and have not found one credible link of a real interview with CBN news. I think y’all should check facts before believing everything you read.

  • Alexander

    Closet gays are usually the meanest going. Guess Rick is in the category. He should come out and leave the hate in the closet. Most people would like him a lot better.

  • adamj2013

    I don’t know what is funnier: the satire or the stupidity.

  • P Smith

    Why is Santorum so obsessed with homosexuals? He has said this on so many occasions, one would think that he might be a self-hating closeted homosexual.

  • DD

    Sounds to me like Santorum wants something up his @ss. I mean who else constantly thinks of having something jammed up the @ss but someone who wants it? I don’t give a damn what gay men do in the privacy of their bedrooms. But I certainly don’t want to know what Santorum want’s up @ss!! Come on out of the closet Santorum, we all know. Funny thing is, that no body would care. This is way too close to being a fact instead of satire.

  • Patriotic Veteran

    Are you saying that Rick Santorum and Barack Obama frequented the same gay bars and gay bathhouses. Or were they very close friends in Reverend Wrights, “Down Low Club”.

  • Patriotic Veteran

    It is only blind, mentally ill sheep that believe all the crap they read or hear on the media. Don’t blindly follow but do your own research to separate the BS from the truth. Can anyone honestly say that they seen this interview? Or is this the fabrication of someone’s sick mind to politically destroy a fellow human being? I am neither a Democrat or Republican, I research the candidates and will vote for the lesser of the evils. I resent being called a racist because I didn’t vote for Obama. I didn’t vote for him after doing my research and found out even when he was the Junior Senator in Illinois he tried to bully people to get what he wanted. Research his political career he doesn’t seem to really care about what the majority of Americans want from their Government. One important thing I learned in life never generalize from the specific.

  • DL

    “Former Senator Rick Santorum fingered gay men today as the cause of the ongoing federal government shutdown”. I think I am going to get a bumper sticker that says this.

  • Josef

    The opposite o love is not hatred, but indifference. Santorum is clerlry not not indifferent to gays, since he talks about them incessantly. This is not the case for Obama.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    If it’s not real, it wouldn’t surprise me. Gays get blamed for every thing from Hurricanes to earthquakes to tornadoes. A wingnut like this one is reason people are so screwed up anyways.

  • bobo

    What is sad is that soo many people believe this to be true. On top of it all they still believe it after being told its satire. You know nothing like when liberals teach things like to throw up, pee on yourself and act gross to avoid rape…..

  • Cody Griffith

    IT’S SATIRE DIPSHITS!! Click on “The DAILY CURRANT” and go to the home page. you will see page after page of ridiculous “stories” about DEMOCRATS & REPUBLICANS!! Those flying off the handle probably think the “WEEKEND UPDATE” on SNL is real or the daily show or Colbert report are 100% on the level as well. THE DAILY CURRANT IS “MAD MAGAZINE” FOR POLITICS!!! You people crack me up!

  • 322 Skull

    Obama’s CHRISTMAS Present for you…..

    My….My….My……

    Take a look ……………….””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””’

    youtube.com/watch?v=b-CwV02WxdY&feature=c4-overview&list=UU5x29V6BgAs7dK4qwi-ys5Q

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