NASA Says Washington D.C. Once Hosted Intelligent Life

Oct 17, 2013
Press Release Blasts Congress for Shutdown

shuttle037b_1334689201One government agency is letting the world know it isn't happy with the way Congress has handled the government shutdown.

On its first day back to work today, NASA issued a press release claiming its scientists have found that Washington, D.C. once supported intelligent life.

"While on mandatory furlough some of our employees were looking for a new project," reads a statement posted to its website. "These researchers had been looking for intelligent life on other planets, and decided to turn their attention to the situation in Washington.

"According to their preliminary research, the area around the Potomac River once supported intelligent creatures capable of compromise, maturity and foresight. These beings created a great civilization with fantastic achievements in civil rights, social welfare, science, the arts and technology.

"Unfortunately this enlightened species seems to have died out slowly over the past few decades, and more primitive lifeforms have taken their place. We are unable to determine the cause of this extinction at this time."

To Boldly Go

Republicans in the House of Representatives shutdown the U.S. government on Oct. 1 in an effort to defund the Affordable Care Act, President Obama's signature health care reform popularly known has Obamacare.

The 17-day government shutdown is estimated to have cost the American economy $24 billion as government agencies closed up and contractors cut wages and laid off employees.

NASA, America's space agency, was more affected than most with 97 percent of its 18,250 employees placed on mandatory furlough and several important research projects halted.

Yet despite widespread anger in the organization, a spokesperson said that today's press release was an accident and did not reflect the views of the agency.

"Today's press release was the work of a few rogue employees. The leadership of NASA has the utmost respect for Congress and admires its extraordinarily wise decision to shut down the government."

  • Gembre

    respect the “wise decision to close the government.” lol

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  • Tom Billings

    “Republicans in the House of Representatives shutdown the U.S. government
    on Oct. 1 in an effort to defund the Affordable Care Act, President Obama’s signature health care reform popularly known has Obamacare.”

    Interesting attempt at propaganda, but no more. In fact, the Reps in the House funded everything in the government *except* the Obamacare, which program has already got millions of citizens notices that their health insurance is ending by January, and millions more that it has become more expensive, sometimes by as much as 3 times. It’s done that in less than 4 weeks. Just think what joys await us in the future from it.

    BTW, in *none* of the last 17 similar incidents in recent decades did the vast majority of NASA employees get furloughed. This time was entirely the choice of the WH.

    I didn’t know the Daily Currant was a progressive propaganda rag. I will take that into consideration in the future

  • Einstein

    The higher priced policies are going to those who can afford them. I guessing you think Social Security should be privatized as well?

    Health insurance policies normally need to be renewed every January. Been that way for at least 15 years. And the prices have gone up like crazy in that time period.

  • Rob Dotzler

    Hey Tom, you know this is a fake “news” website. What a shame so many of you folks don’t realize this. It’s not like they try to hide it. May God bless your idiocy, I see it spills over to your politics. Such a shame, I hope you get better. Next thing you know, you’ll be believing it was the Dems that shut down government with a sequester. Seriously, please get better soon.

  • Tom Billings

    Thanks for the info about this site. I do remember who suggested the sequester as part of an earlier compromise that was then accepted by both Reps and Dems. It was the occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., as I recall.

    BTW, the standard progressive trope that everyone who disagrees with them is an idiot is, …substantially strained when compared to opinions in groups like Intertel’s Top 1 e-mail list. The desire to belong, and to get good grades, in humanities and social science courses, often leads people to adopt these progressive tropes. Do not be a captive of your desires long after they were ever useful.

  • Rob Dotzler

    What a f*cking idiot. That’s right, bow to your corporate masters, they may give you a few scraps and let you rub your own tummy. I belong or bow to no man or entity. But feel free to let the Koch’s tell you how to live.

  • Tom Billings

    Rob? You’re pulling my leg, …right? I haven’t met anyone in decades that was *that* much a caricature of a class bigot. The Kochs and I have had many views in common since the 1960s. If I *had* been able to follow their path, I’d be a *lot* better off today.