Charlie Sheen Calls for Rob Ford’s Resignation

Nov 13, 2013

gallery_enlarged-charlie-sheen-booger-011Charlie Sheen called for Rob Ford's resignation today, saying the Toronto mayor's struggles with substance abuse make him unfit to lead Canada's largest city.

Sheen has been in Toronto for the past two weeks shooting the sixth Scary Movie film and was caught outside his hotel today by a reporter for La Presse newspaper.

"Charlie, any thoughts on the mayor here in Toronto?" the correspondent asked. "As someone who's battled with drug abuse himself, do you think the mayor should resign and go into treatment?"

"Ah man, that's a tough question," Sheen responded. "I hate to pass judgement on anybody, especially given my history. But I've been seeing those videos on the news, and I think it's fair to say that Rob Ford parties too much. I can honestly tell you I've never been that high.

"There was this one time in Vegas when I took four Victoria's Secret models and did one gram off each of their bodies within like 45 minutes. I declared myself King of Vegas and decided to remodel my hotel room with my bare hands to resemble King Louis XIV's bedroom at Versailles. Knocked down two entire walls, and later had four knuckle surgeries. Still wasn't as high as Rob Ford.

"This guy needs help. I'm not saying he needs counseling or AA or rehab or anything like that. Everyone gets better in different ways. But yeah I think he should at least resign and figure out what kind of help is right for him. It's one thing if you're an actor, but public servants should be held to a higher standard."

Spin City 

Rob Ford has been Toronto's mayor since 2010 and has battled a great number of personal controversies. He was arrested in 1999 in Florida for driving under the influence, thrown out of a Maple Leafs game in 2006 for being too drunk, and accused of racial insensitivity in 2008 by saying, "The Orientals, they're slowly taking over."

Since taking office he's also seen his share of political scandals, including allegations of campaign finance abuse, a lengthy trial for conflict of interest in fundraising and a bizarre incident where Ford was investigated for placing campaign refrigerator magnets on parked cars.

Lately, Ford has faced allegations of substance abuse, mostly because videos have surfaced of him smoking crack cocaine and threatening violence while appearing to be high.

Sheen survived a similar situation in 2011 when a drug-induced meltdown caused him to be fired from Two and a Half Men. Sheen has since quit hard drugs and rebounded professionally with a new show, Anger Management.

"I don't know what it's like being a mayor," Sheen admitted, "but I did play one on television. And I think if you have any big job -- whether in acting or politics or whatever -- you owe it to the people who depend on you to show up to work every day 100 percent focused on the job. I don't think Mayor Ford can do that now, and that's a problem. Get some help dude."

  • Kaouthia

    When Charlie Sheen is telling you to clean up, you know you got a problem. 🙂

  • media bullies

    this is a bogus report. read charlie sheens response http://www.twitlonger.com/show/munecv

  • Justin

    what a shlock POS paper … this is straight bullshit. Liable suit coming your way!

  • Jon

    *face palms*
    you can’t sue someone for having an opinion genius.

  • holden

    this site fails at satire and most importantly…humor

  • Guest

    you fail at life.

  • Jon

    only because it’s so believable.

  • holden

    you fail at trolling

  • timrobson

    I’ve read and enjoyed the Onion for years, but never heard of this site until now. No wonder.

  • Sanyok

    You all fail… because… because… I said so! 🙂

  • Nate Mantle

    Can I call for the resignation of all parties involved in making ANOTHER scary movie? Fuck man, the first one was ok and the rest were crap. Stop it.

  • Carmen


  • RajenBull

    I know this is satire but the logic is sound: horses for courses. If Rob was a high profile Hollywood actor, it’d be fine. Everybody would be over the trauma of the discovery, but he’s the Mayor of Toronto! If he had been the President of the United States, they would have had a whinge in the Government and several vital issues would have been pushed aside to clear some space in the media for this issue; Fox would invariably compare it with the apocalypse or slavery or something, and after the failed impeachment, everything would be back on an even keel. But this is in the cultural capital of the country with the most laid back people in the world-it’s a tie with Switzerland, but only because they market themselves as such. His real crime was getting caught. He has no choice but to resign and buy into a car dealership in Ottawa, where there are politicians (do Canadian politicians even lie?).

  • William Harper

    Are you better?

  • alted1

    Everybody wins! 😉 Now have some Jello ©

  • Johnny Wilson

    You hold’en Holden?

  • LL

    dear Mayor Rob Ford,

    the only truth or correct reporting in today’s

    repulsive story regarding

    my alleged comments about you,

    is the accurate spelling of your great city.

    your personal life is and never would be,

    any of my business.

    I’m sorry for any grief this may have caused.

    if I can be of any assistance

    in any capacity in this

    media cesspool,

    please accept the noble offer of my steady

    hand and compassionate heart.


    charlie sheen.

  • steve

    Google ‘tdotshirts’ – some pretty funny Rob Ford Tees

  • Nikta

    You fail at Jello.