Suicide Valentines

Photo: Thinkstock

Retailers are reporting a 2,000% spike in sales of nylon rope in the three days leading up to Valentine’s Day.

“We always see a spike in rope sales because of the depressing nature of Valentines Day for many single adults,” said reporter Rudolph Zachery. “And with the addition of the 50 Shades Of Gray film release, ropes sales are sailing to new heights not seen since the New England shipyards of the 1800s.”... Read More →


valentines-day-lawsuitA woman from Des Moines, Iowa is suing greeting card company Hallmark for creating Valentine's Day, the pressure from which she claims led to her divorce last year.

Alexandra Richmond, 36, is suing for $126 million in mental and physical damages stemming from her separation from her longtime husband. ... Read More →


uber_pricing_new_years_satireThe car transportation service Uber is requiring its riders to pay a minimum of $175 per ride on New Year's Eve.

Chief Operating Officer Travis Kalanick told Business Insider, “It’s just supply and demand.”

Uber uses a cell phone application to determine your location and have their drivers pick you up. The passenger then automatically pays through the Uber app, which needs a credit or debit card attached. It’s a seamless and efficient transaction which has led to the company being valued at over $40 billion.... Read More →


glen_beck_christmas_tree_fireTelevision personality Glenn Beck rallied his followers to buy his branded “Patriot Star” Christmas tree ornament and light it simultaneously on Christmas Eve to shine to the heavens and “show the world Christmas is stronger than ever and you’ll never be able to take us down.”

However, millions of the poorly made “Patriot Stars” were defective and caught the Christmas trees on fire during the Christmas Eve lighting.... Read More →


baby_airline_china_sedatedChinese airline Joy Air now requires babies under the age of 6 to be sedated with the anesthetic propofol prior to boarding, in an effort to reduce levels of child-related noise on its aircraft.

In China, drugs are only allowed when they are deemed to benefit the public, but they are rarely used outside of medical procedures. Crying babies are deemed to be an exception. Parent’s of children under 12 but over 6 will have the option of sedation.... Read More →


vitarettesTobacco company Marlboro has introduced vitamin-infused cigarettes called Vitarettes.

The company says it’s targeting the health-conscious smoker as the safer, more nutritious way to smoke.... Read More →


lootcandlestoreShoppers in Bakersfield, California looted local boutique candle store Candlez yesterday after the store refused to open on Thanksgiving Day

The disgruntled shoppers became enraged the boutique candle shop was closed and expressed their anger by looting the store, leaving only broken glass and empty shelves in their wake. Police say they caused over $100,000 in damage.... Read More →


477759639In wake of another tragedy involving a Malaysia Airlines flight, the company has decided to incorporate an interfaith prayer segment into its pre-flight safety instruction video.

In an interview with the Eastern Times, the company said the 90-second video will ask passengers to pray to whatever god they believe in and ask that the aircraft arrive safely at its destination.... Read More →


458682625Managers at a Hobby Lobby store in Arkansas stoned to death an employee today for being gay.

According to a report in the Ozark Post-Gazette, the store’s management decided to execute Jeremy Gleason, 43, in an alley behind the store in accordance with the Biblical verse Leviticus 20:13, which commands believers to kill homosexual men.... Read More →


HobbyLobbyStowOhioHobby Lobby fired an employee yesterday for divorcing her husband without company approval.

33-year old Jennifer Silverton of Scottsdale, Ariz., spent seven years as a cashier at the arts and crafts retail giant and was promoted to assistant manager just two weeks ago.... Read More →


DimonMexicoAs the rhetoric in Washington, D.C. moves toward addressing income inequality, super wealthy Americans are expressing interest in moving out -- and going south of the border.

Mexican immigration officials reported that their website saw a massive surge in visitor traffic in the weeks following President Obama's executive order to raise the minimum wage. Data provided by the National Security Agency (NSA) showed that most online visitors originated from the United States' wealthiest Zip codes.... Read More →


walmart_5Walmart announced plans today to create its own payday loan business to support its financially strapped employees.

In a press release posted on its website, the nation's largest retailer said that it decided to launch the service after hearing complaints that workers often have trouble paying their monthly bills.... Read More →