mallatheonionsmallParody newspaper The Onion apologized today after calling 16-year-old human rights activist Malala Yousafzai a "cunt" on its Twitter feed

The Pakistani native was a favorite contender to win a Nobel Prize this year for promoting women's education in Islamic countries. That same work made her a target of the Taliban, which attempted to assassinate her last year with a bullet to the head.... Read More →


darksantorumFormer Senator Rick Santorum fingered gay men today as the cause of the ongoing federal government shutdown.

In an interview with the Christian broadcaster CBN News, the Pennsylvania Republican argued that risky sexual practices of male homosexuals stoked the rise in health care costs that prompted Obamacare.... Read More →


rodman-nobelFormer basketball star Dennis Rodman has received the Nobel Peace Prize for his unlikely and controversial role in promoting international relations with North Korea and "friend for life" dictator Kim Jong-un.

The eccentric sports icon accepted the award via satellite during the ceremony in Norway's capital, Oslo. The prize committee praised Rodman for working to end the simmering conflict between isolated North Korea, the United States and the world community through "basketball diplomacy."... Read More →


sexist-hillary-buttons-479x319The California Republican Party convention that sold sexist campaign buttons attacking Hillary Clinton reportedly had dozens more on sale, according to staff and GOP officials.

A San Francisco Chronicle reporter tweeted a photo of anti-Hillary Clinton buttons, which stated, "KFC Hillary Special 2 Fat Thighs, 2 Small Breasts ...Left-wing," during a three-day convention in Anaheim that focused on recruiting more women and minority voters.... Read More →


Pope_Francis_in_March_2013_b-e1381060022269Pope Francis said today that he favors the right of gays to marry.

In an interview with Lithuanian newspaper Rausva Plunksna, the leader of the Catholic Church explains that since gays are part of God's creation, they deserve the same rights and respect as all human beings. ... Read More →


Republicans in the House of Representatives have offered to start funding the federal government again if President Obama orders an immediate ban on all abortions.

In a lengthy press conference this morning, House Speaker John Boehner hailed the idea as a compromise solution to the ongoing crisis and blasted Democrats for refusing to consider the proposal.... Read More →


770px-President_Reagan_speaking_in_Minneapolis_1982A new poll out today shows that Republicans support all the basic elements of Obamacare by wide majorities if it is simply labeled "Reagancare."

Pollsters at TDC Opinion Research created a hypothetical "conservative alternative" to Obamacare and asked a sample of 2,000 registered Republicans if they approved of the proposal.... Read More →


072913_ted_cruz_640A flight carrying Senator Ted Cruz was cancelled this morning due to the ongoing government shutdown.

The freshman Republican was trying to return to Texas to attend a Tea Party convention in EL Paso, but was stopped at the airport by United Airlines personnel who informed him the next direct flight doesn't leave until Thursday afternoon.

... Read More →


Matt_Groening_3756463875-1-e1380473729599The creator of the iconic cartoon The Simpsons has admitted he doesn't watch his own show anymore and feels it should end.

"I'm surprised The Simpsons is still on TV, frankly. I think we should have ended it years ago," Matt Groening told KBBL-TV in his hometown of Portland, Ore., when asked about the show's 25th season, which premieres Sunday, Sept. 29.... Read More →


kanyebrightRapper Kanye West is under fire today for claiming that he has contributed more to the cause of civil rights than icons Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr.

In an interview with WJLB radio in Detroit this morning, the controversial rapper said that his work in music and fashion design have single-handedly inspired millions to overcome discrimination and poverty.... Read More →


millibandgibraltarEd Miliband offered to sell the British territory of Gibraltar to Spain today.

In an interview this morning on Spanish news channel TVE Internacional, the leader of the Labour Party said that the U.K.'s control over the rock is a relic of imperialism and should be abandoned as soon as possible.... Read More →


images (1)Media morality activist L. Brent Bozell III was arrested for disorderly conduct yesterday after he allegedly went on a profanity-laced tirade and threatened a Washington, D.C. police officer during a parking ticket dispute.

Police said Bozell, a culture warrior who made his career pushing for more regulation and higher fines for "indecent" media content, was taken into custody around 2:30 p.m. yesterday.... Read More →