roseeczemaFormer Chicago Bulls 2008 first round draft pick Derrick Rose has retired from the National Basketball League (NBA) due to a recent eczema diagnosis.

“My skin becomes a little irritated and I can’t play no more. I want my skin looking good when I’m in my kids’ graduation photos and making a business presentation,” Rose told CSN Chicago’s Dave Kaplan. “How am I suppose to play ball when I’m itchy?”... Read More →

 

SarahPalinOceanSarah Palin said today that illegal immigrants from Mexico should be put on boats and sent back across the ocean to their home country.

In an interview with Fox News tonight, the former Alaskan governor was asked about President Obama’s new plan to partially legalize some of the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants in America. Palin dismissed the president's idea as “amnesty” and offered an  unconventional solution of her own.... Read More →

 

Climate Change And Global Pollution To Be Discussed At Copenhagen SummitThe state of North Dakota has named a new publicly-owned landfill after President Barack Obama.

In an overwhelming 35-10 vote, the state Senate advanced a bill naming a 650-acre site currently under construction after the nation’s 44th president. Governor Jack Dalrymple is expected to sign the measure into law Tuesday.... Read More →

 

LouHoltzESPN analyst Lou Holtz claimed today that Notre Dame is the best college football team in the country, despite falling to 7-3 on the season with a loss to Northwestern at home.

In a broadcast of ESPN College Football Final, Holtz -- a former head coach of Notre Dame -- argued that Mississippi State’s loss to Alabama this week opens up a spot for Notre Dame's Fighting Irish at the top of the College Playoff standings. The Irish lost in overtime 43-40 to Northwestern Wildcats, who came in as 17 point underdogs.... Read More →

 

kanyekimKanye West claimed today that he has a better looking butt than his wife Kim Kardashian.

In an interview this morning on Chicago rap station WGYN, the singer was asked about Kim's recent photoshoot for Paper magazine that highlighted her famous backside. His response revealed a clear annoyance about losing the spotlight to his media-savvy spouse.... Read More →

 

Premiere Of DreamWorks' "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen" - ArrivalsKim Kardashian earned $67 million for her nude butt photos that appeared in Paper magazine.

According to a source close to the situation, $7 million was paid up front to the actress with the remaining $60 million being paid out over the next 10 years. The enormous sum of money is being paid for just one day of photography.... Read More →

 

Jaenschwalde Coal-Fired Power PlantGlobal warming and climate change are harming God’s creations and preventing the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, a study released this week has found.

The study, authored by respected Christian non-scientists at Liberty and Bob Jones universities, found that while God still controls the weather, humans are interfering with his work and causing global warming and climate change through sinful, destructive activities. In addition, the study found humans are also committing a sin by ignoring the deadly effects.... Read More →

 

photo-range-3After sweeping the midterm elections, Republican Mitch McConnell of Kentucky announced today the construction of a 2,000-square-foot gun range in the basement of the Capitol building in Washington, D.C.

In a speech to the National Rifle Association this morning, the next Senate majority leader told the crowd that the new project -- which will cost taxpayers $37 million -- will help secure America's Second Amendment rights.... Read More →

 

507215061 (1)An active member of Al-Qaeda has been elected to a California city council in an election that saw a record low voter turnout.

Sidi Baba “Bob” Al-Booey, who campaigned  under the slogan “Call me Bob” for an open city council seat in Agrestic in Los Angeles County with a tough-on-crime, family values platform that includes enacting Sharia law, received 54 percent. Only 21.5 percent of registered voters in the suburb of 5,300 voted in the election, keeping in line with low voter turnout in other communities throughout the region.... Read More →

 

undereatunnellssCalifornia voters have overwhelmingly approved plans for a high-speed rail link to Hawaii.

According to election officials, Proposition 49 -- which would use public money to build a 2,600-mile-long undersea rail tunnel between Honolulu and Los Angeles -- passed with a resounding 78 percent of the vote.... Read More →

 

President Obama Holds A News Conference At The White HouseIn response to the Republican takeover of the Senate, President Barack Obama has announced he will tour the country on a golfing trip until the end of his presidency.

“If this election has taught me one thing, it’s that I’ve grown deeply out of touch with the American people and what is going on in this country,” Obama said at a press conference as news poured in of Democratic losses. “Therefore, I’ve decided to leave the bubble of Washington and travel around this great country of ours, meeting with the people and getting back to my roots: as an avid golfer.”... Read More →

 

John McCain Accepts The Republican Party NominationKansas Gov. Sam Brownback has pledged to make his unpopular conservative economic policies succeed – by forcibly expelling all poor and lower middle-class people from the state.

Despite hurting Kansas’ economy with his deep tax cuts for the rich and budget cuts on education and social services, Brownback survived a tough reelection challenge in the reliably conservative state from Democrat Paul Davis, who had the backing of state Republicans opposed to Brownback’s policies. In his second term, Brownback, a darling of the Christian right, pledged to continue his agenda.... Read More →