Politics

 

Militia-ManA band of self-described American patriots has taken over the community of Crimea, Louisiana, in order to defend it from Russian invasion.

The eight heavily-armed Americans drove into the community on motorcycles and in trucks around 10:45 a.m. today and declared it occupied by the United States at around 10:52 a.m., according to witnesses.... Read More →

 

admin-ajax-(1)The controversial Westboro Baptist Church has asked the public not to picket the funeral of its founder, Pastor Fred Phelps, who died this week at 84, and "have a little decency and respect" for his family and friends.

In a statement posted on its website, the Topeka, Kan.-based church – home to America’s most hated family – claimed members of the public have threatened to protest Phelps’ funeral just as the church protested the funerals of others.... Read More →

 

palinSarah Palin claimed today that Malaysia Flight 370 may have vanished because it mistakenly flew too high and ended up in heaven.

During an appearance on Fox News last night, Sean Hannity asked the former vice-presidential candidate for her thoughts about the aircraft, which has been missing for nearly two weeks.... Read More →

 

111112_fns_feinstein_640California Sen. Dianne Feinstein has fled the United States and is seeking political asylum in another country, claiming she fears retribution for criticizing U.S. intelligence agencies.

In a conference call with reporters, Feinstein, who is hiding in an undisclosed location, said she was afraid of what the U.S. government would do to her after she said the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) may have broke several laws when it spied on the Senate intelligence committee.... Read More →

 

putin500 Russia’s President Vladimir Putin is an early favorite among Republican voters to become the party’s presidential nominee in 2016, a new poll has found.

Since the crisis in Ukraine began, Putin has earned unexpected support from right-wing pundits who see him as a more respected leader than President Barack Obama.... Read More →

 

UkraineGayUkraine is planning to march large numbers of gay men into Crimea in hopes of scaring off Russian soldiers currently occupying the territory.

According to local reports this “gay army” will be unarmed and its mission will be to act as flamboyantly homosexual as possible, causing the deeply prejudiced occupying force to flee back to its homeland.... Read More →

 

PalinUkraineThe United Nations has appointed Sarah Palin as a special envoy to Ukraine, hoping she can help mediate a solution to the growing geopolitical crisis in that country.

According to sources close to the situation, Palin and a team of international crisis experts will fly to Kiev tonight to meet with Ukrainian officials before moving on to Moscow to negotiate a final settlement with Russia’s President Vladimir Putin over the fate of the disputed Crimea region.... Read More →

 

TinMintsWeedGirl Scouts in Colorado have begun incorporating marijuana into their cookies in an effort to boost sales.

According to a report in the Rocky Mountain News, Sara Little of Boulder has sold more than $50,000 of marijuana-infused Thin Mint cookies in the last seven days and is on track to do more than $700,000 in sales this season.... Read More →

 

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President Obama nominated Oprah Winfrey to serve as ambassador to Russia today.

In a written statement, the White House said the veteran broadcaster has been selected to replace Russian policy expert Michael McFaul, who announced last week that he was stepping down after little more than a year on the job.... Read More →

 

image00Russia awarded former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum an honorary gold medal today for his work in combating “gay propaganda” around the world.

In a surprise ceremony this morning president Vladimir Putin bestowed America’s most ardent opponent of gay rights with a special edition of Russia's Order of St. Catherine the Great Martyr, which celebrates achievements in cultural preservation.... Read More →

 

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Conservative commentator Todd Starnes was arrested this morning for vandalizing the Washington Monument in protest of a Latin phrase inscribed on top.

The Fox News contributor and monolingual English speaker was stopped by police around 5:30 a.m. after he reportedly was caught spray painting the words “Praise be to God” on the side of the Washington Monument, with an arrow pointing up toward the phrase “Laus deo,” which is inscribed on the eastern side of the apex.... Read More →

 

coltercokecorrectConservative commentator Ann Coulter provoked controversy today by calling for the public execution of Coca-Cola's CEO.

In an interview with Fox News this morning, the bombastic author claimed that the company's Turkish-American leader Muhtar A. Kent should be hung for treason over Coke's Super Bowl commercial celebrating diversity.... Read More →