Politics

 

SanFranciscoStrightMarriageThe City of San Francisco banned straight marriage today on the grounds that heterosexual behavior is unnatural and a threat to same-sex relationships.

In a close vote the city’s Board of Supervisors passed a resolution this morning barring opposite sex couples in the city from marrying one another effective immediately. All existing unions between one man and one woman will also be nullified.... Read More →

 

474455397India celebrated the installation of the country’s 100th toilet today.

In a posh ceremony outside Mumbai this afternoon, Prime Minister Narendra Modi unveiled a state-of-the-art dual-gender outhouse, which will serve a crowded government office building on the outskirts of the city.... Read More →

 

WashingtonMonumentBallsThe National Park Service announced plans today for a new visitors’ center at the Washington Monument.

In a press conference this morning, officials unveiled the final design for the long-delayed project. The new addition -- in the shape of two large spheres attached to the monument's base -- hopes to increase revenue generation from the historic site.... Read More →

 

176869786Thanks to the viral success of the ice bucket challenge, which has raised $95 million for the ALS Association, Congress has pledged to slash $1 billion previously budgeted for life-saving medical research.

The $95 million is a drop in the bucket compared to Congress’ budget cuts to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the government agency that spends billions of dollars a year funding medical research on causes such as ALS, cancer, mental health, diabetes, drug abuse, and strokes.... Read More →

 

georgiavendingmachinesGeorgia has become the first state in the union to legalize handgun vending machines.

In a ceremony today in Atlanta, Gov. Nathan Deal signed the Firearms Freedom and Accessibility Act (FFAA), which allows the sale of handguns in automated machines that accept cash, credit and debit cards.... Read More →

 

Screen-Shot-2014-08-15-at-4.01.27-PM-1280x730Police in Ferguson, Missouri beheaded an American journalist today.

According to multiple reports, Edward Baxter was working on a story inside a local McDonald's when police approached and asked him to hand over his laptop.... Read More →

 

477850221The urban myth of the “brown note” - a noise which causes uncontrollable bowel movements - has became reality in Ferguson, Missouri.

Today police used a device called the B-Note 300XS to disperse protesters gathered for the killing of unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown. It creates a frequency of 5 to 9 Hz and was successful in causing unsuspecting protesters to defecate themselves in public.... Read More →

 

458307445Russia has seen a massive drop in obesity rates and related diseases since it banned food imports from the United States and Europe.

Moscow has halted imports of sodas, candy, junk food and other processed food from the West in retaliation for economic sanctions on its oil and banking sectors.... Read More →

 

icebucketchallengeLocal authorities in California are handing out massive fines to anyone participating in the "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge" fundraiser on the grounds they are wasting water.

In Los Angeles, which is living through its worst drought in generations, the Department of Water & Power and the Police Department have long been cracking down on unnecessary water usage.... Read More →

 

Coulter_3Ann Coulter suggested today that America should infect migrant children with ebola in order to discourage illegal immigration.

In an interview this morning on Fox News, the controversial conservative commentator was asked how she would handle the growing humanitarian crisis caused by the arrival of thousands of unaccompanied children from Central America.... Read More →

 

99847538The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia announced today that it is leaning toward finally allowing its female population to use forks.

The highly anticipated move comes as the autocratic Islamic regime faces ongoing criticism around the world for its record on women’s rights, which critics say is among the worst in the word.... Read More →

 

radicalathiestbombingA group of radical atheists claimed responsibility for a suicide bombing in Iraq today.

This morning the normally peaceful southern town of Al-Lamkan was rocked by a powerful explosion in a crowded fruit market that killed 29 people and injured over 50.... Read More →

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