Science

 

plannetbachmannsuitableA group of scientists has discovered an extra-solar planet capable of supporting Michele Bachmann, should world leaders decide to banish her from the Earth.

According to a study published today in Nature Astroscience, researchers at the University of Minnesota analyzed data from NASA’s Kepler mission and detected an Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone around the star Tau Ceti.... Read More →

 

casualsexobamacareA new study published today finds that casual sex has increased 83% since Obamacare took effect in January.

Writing in the prestigious Nature Harlotology researchers from Stanford University demonstrated that better access to contraception has made women much more likely to have multiple, short-term sexual partners.... Read More →

 

grits-with-butterScientists at Stanford University released a study today showing that men who regularly eat grits are 70 percent more likely to have gay children.

The prospective cohort study, published in Nature Medicine, followed 15,000 volunteers for 30 years to determine the influence of parental diet on the development of childhood illnesses.... Read More →

 

pongopeteScientists at Harvard University have successfully taught a monkey to understand the theory of evolution.

According to a new paper published today in Nature, a team of primatologists used basic sign language and symbols to teach an orangutan named “Pongo Pete” that humans and other primates shared a common ancestor.... Read More →

 

sharknadoAs of last week, most Americans may associate the word "Sharknado" with a silly, so-bad-it's-good television movie.

Not so fast, say scientists who warn that real-life "sharknadoes" as depicted in the movie have already been reported – a few times, in fact.... Read More →

 

mars-rover-landing-sequence-landed_57831_600x450NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.

According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.... Read More →

 

342407_005Christian minister Ray Comfort claimed today that the existence of pineapple disproves the Big Bang theory.

In a video uploaded to his official YouTube channel, the New Zealand-born leader of The Way of the Master ministry said that the spiny fruit could only exist in a universe created by God.... Read More →

 

elizabeth-eckfordPeople who believe in their own racial supremacy tend to be a very poor representation of their race, a new study has found.

Researchers at the University of North Haverbrook spent a year studying the lives of about 5,000 people who espoused white supremacist views, visiting isolated communities in the American Midwest, central Russia, eastern Germany and rural South Africa.... Read More →

 

the-marble-cathedral-of-general-carrera-lake-L-7qhVulResearchers from Stanford University today announced the discovery of a cave in South America full of colorless green ideas.

An entire colony of colorless green ideas, or CGIDs as scientists have dubbed them, was found sleeping furiously in the vicinity of Lake General Carrera in the Patagonian south of Chile. ... Read More →

 

imagesResearchers at Harvard University announced today that they have found what appears to be a message from God written inside the human genome.

In a little-explored section of non-coding DNA, a team of top geneticists discovered a 22-word snippet of ancient Aramaic in which God confirms his existence and his role in creating life on Earth.... Read More →

 

4301542879_82e597f8dd_zScientists at NASA discovered overnight a relatively large asteroid which will collide with Earth tomorrow around noon Eastern Standard Time.

Emergency preparations are being made at the highest level of the U.S. government for the impact of the object, which measures nearly 1/2 a kilometer long and is predicted to land somewhere in either Europe, North America, or the northern Atlantic Ocean. ... Read More →

 

The international particle physics laboratory CERN was bombed today by radical terrorists from a rival school of theoretical physics.

The Calabi-Yau Martyr Squadron, an extremist group associated with string theory claimed responsibility for the attack, which caused no injuries but severely damaged CERN's particle accelerator - the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) .... Read More →

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