largeSatan denied school shooter Adam Lanza entry into hell today, saying the recently deceased 20-year-old is "too screwed up" to be admitted to his lair.

The perpetrator of one of the worst mass-murders in American history will be locked in purgatory until the Devil can arrange for him to go someplace else.... Read More →


t1larg.iranian.presidentThe Iranian government announced Thursday that it plans to legalize marijuana for both medical and personal use, according to state media.

Iran’s parliament approved a bill that would allow Iranian citizens to purchase up to 2 ounces of marijuana from private, state-licensed stores and cafés.

The proposed law taxes marijuana up to 25 percent. Commercial marijuana growers would need to apply for a permit from the Iranian Ministry of Agriculture.... Read More →


schwimmerFriends star David Schwimmer was nominated for a Golden Globe today, cementing his long-awaited comeback after more than a decade spent outside the public eye.

Best known for playing Ross on the biggest sitcom of the 1990's, the now-struggling actor snagged the nom for his performance as "Young Thark Warrior #3" in John Carter.... Read More →


bachmann_rect-460x307Michele Bachmann's 2012 presidential bid may have gone down in flames, but the Minnesota congresswoman appears poised to rise from the ashes in 2013.

Sources close to the Tea Party darling say that when the new Congress begins in January she will challenge Speaker John Boehner for leadership of the House Republicans.... Read More →


In an effort to reach out to minority communities, the Republican National Committee released an iPhone and Android application today that helps its members find new black and Latino friends.

The new app - named Darkbuddy - accesses your Facebook social graph and searches friends-of-friends and their friends for minorities. It then presents a list of potential new "buddies" to the user and encourages them to make contact. ... Read More →


U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is under fire today for controversial statements regarding LGBT rights.

In a speech to the conservative Federalist Society, the aging judicial firebrand claimed that homosexuality was 'unnatural' and 'unamerican' and suggested states should have the right to ban it under the 10th amendment.... Read More →


Speaker of the House John Boehner walked out on fiscal cliff negotiations with President Obama today after the president refused to join Boehner in a prayer honoring Ronald Reagan.

Sources say the pair had been making considerable progress in resolving the looming fiscal crisis until Bohner abruptly demanded that Obama join hands and praise '"The King of Kings, the Captain of Salvation, The Alpha and the Omega, our Lord and Savior- Ronald Reagan." ... Read More →


Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard said today that she will strip two local radio hosts of their citizenship and deport them to Britain immediately after a prank call that left an English nurse dead.

Mel Greig and Michael Christian, from Sydney's 2Day FM radio station, have faced a barrage of criticism in recent days after the victim of one their prank calls was found dead of an apparent suicide.... Read More →


Former Pennsylvania senator and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum claimed today that vaccinations sponsored by the United Nations are the "underlying cause" of homosexuality.

In an interview with Newsmax the conservative politician said that the current "epidemic" of homosexual behavior is a side effect of the Measles-Mumps-Rubella (MMR) vaccine, distributed globally by the World Health Organization in an attempt to suppress Christian morality.... Read More →


li-boehner-620-01043246Republican lawmakers have responded to President Obama's call to increase federal revenues by proposing a punishing new tax on tampons, contraception and other womens' health products.

In an interview with his hometown newspaper, Speaker of the House John Boehner ruled out raising taxes on the wealthiest 2% of Americans to help avert the fiscal cliff, but suggested there were some products Republicans were willing to start taxing:... Read More →


Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi has declared himself dictator for life, scuppering hopes that Egypt's revolution will lead to a flowering new democracy.

During a live interview with BBC Arabic Television, the United States-educated engineer says he is canceling the writing of a new constitution and will remain in office indefinitely to "protect the integrity of the revolution."... Read More →


Angus T. Jones, one of the stars of the hit CBS show Two and a Half Man has courted more controversy today by claiming that the entire cast of rival comedy Modern Family will 'burn in hell' for participating in the 'satan-loving' series.

In an interview with KKLA Christian radio in Los Angeles the child actor says that although he's sorry for calling his own show 'ungodly filth' last week, he's not shy about speaking out against other programs that violate his Christian faith.... Read More →