[Sans titre]In a stunning Pewter Poll, it was revealed today that a majority of American high schoolers think civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr. was president of the United States before his assassination in 1968.

About 3,169 high schoolers from grade 9 through 12 were polled on Jan. 16 in a survey that simply asked if Martin Luther King Jr. was ever the president of the United States. The results shocked Pewter, who reported 67 percent of high schoolers thought King has held that office.... Read More →

 

justin_bieber_hot_terroristTerrorist suspect Hayat Boumediene may not have many friends left in France, but she apparently has a big admirer here on this side of the Atlantic.

Tween pop sensation Justin Bieber reportedly tweeted this morning: “I’d totally bang that hot Paris terrorist chick. Can someone give her my number? lol”... Read More →

 

Photo: Youtube

Photo: Youtube

Atheist militants bombed The Flinstones writers’ offices in Burbank, California this morning because the cartoon’s depiction of prehistoric life contradicts the theory of evolution.

According to local reports, the suspects laid siege to the compound with a series of grenades and IEDs.  They were targeting the creators of the popular cartoon series, but preliminary reports indicate the offices were vacant at the time and no injuries have been reported.... Read More →

 

80379915As he considers yet another run for president in 2016, Mitt Romney revealed today a tattoo of an American flag pin on his chest.

“This time, I'm all in,” Romney told a group of campaign donors in Florida, “and this tattoo proves it. I don't see any other Republican candidates with the flag tattooed on their torso. Maybe they don't love their country as much as I do.”... Read More →

 

macually_culkin_golden_globesFormer child star Macaulay Culkin was accidentally featured in the 72nd annual Golden Globes’ “In Memoriam” segment after a staffer fell prey to a popular Internet death hoax.

The mistake was only seen in the live broadcast. All reruns and online clips of the award ceremony do not feature this error. The memorial segment was jam packed due to an overwhelming amount of celebrity deaths this year, making Culkin’s cameo difficult to catch.... Read More →

 

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Photo: Thinkstock

Comedian Bill Cosby blasted satirical newsmagazine Charlie Hebdo today, saying their choice to publish cartoons critical of Islam was in “poor taste.”

Just days after making jokes about the multiple allegations of rape against himself, the comedy legend told audience members in Gary, Ind., that the French magazine had simply gone too far.... Read More →

 

palin_charlie_brown_muslims

Photo: Thinkstock

A confused Sarah Palin appeared on Fox News this morning and blasted Islamic extremists for killing the cartoonists who draw the Charlie Brown comic strip.

The Fox and Friends crew were baffled by Palin’s diatribe, until they realized she was mistaking Charlie Hebdo -- the French satirical magazine targeted by Al-Qaeda this week -- with the iconic American comic strip character.... Read More →

 

amazon_pipeline_delivery

Photo: Thinkstock

Online retail store Amazon has unveiled plans for a new delivery service that uses pipelines to carry packages directly to consumers across the United States

Unveiled at this year's Consumer Electronic Show (CES), the service -- dubbed  “Tüb Prime” -- combines a system of pneumatic tubes with experimental magnetic levitation technology to float boxes thousands of miles in a matter of minutes.... Read More →

 

missouri_masturbate_permission

Photo: Thinkstock

Effective this year, a bill sponsored by conservative, pro-life women’s advocacy group Give Motherhood A Chance has now made it illegal for men to masturbate without the notarized permission of their sexual partners.

Since State Rep. Rick Brattin’s attempt to require pregnant women seeking abortions to receive notarized consent from the baby’s father, Missouri lawmakers had entered a heated lobby to cement the state’s stance on reproductive rights. ... Read More →

 

republican_congress_landmine_mexico_borderThe Republican House and Senate passed a bill today that would line the Mexican-American border with over 1.2 million PMZ-40 landmines.

The bill, officially named the Patriotic American Protection Act (PAPA), will place three landmines every 10 feet across the entire 1,989-mile Mexican-American border.... Read More →

 

iggy_fried_chicken_wafflesPop-rap artist Iggy Azalea opened a restaurant in Miami yesterday specializing in fried chicken and soul food.

The restaurant, dubbed “Iggy’s Chicken N' Waffles”, offers a variety of African-American inspired delicacies such as fried chicken, waffles, catfish, black eyed peas, collard greens, and  cornbread.... Read More →

 

obama_cannot_breathe_shirt_congressPresident Obama surprised Congress today when he attended the 114th Congressional swearing-in ceremony wearing an “I Can’t Breathe” T-shirt.

Republican elected officials looked “stunned” as the president entered congressional chambers. Reporters said the Republican congressmen looked breathless and “whiter than usual.”... Read More →