softballstrightA college softball player from the University of Texas shocked the sports world today by coming out as a heterosexual.

In an emotional press conference this morning, Jennifer Ryan, 23, announced that she was a “proud member” of the opposite-sex community. The senior shortstop is believed to be the first and only openly straight women’s softball player in the history of NCAA athletics.... Read More →


Militia-ManA band of self-described American patriots has taken over the community of Crimea, Louisiana, in order to defend it from Russian invasion.

The eight heavily-armed Americans drove into the community on motorcycles and in trucks around 10:45 a.m. today and declared it occupied by the United States at around 10:52 a.m., according to witnesses.... Read More →


cnn370Malaysian investigators now believe the American news network CNN may have ordered the downing of Malaysia Air Flight 370 in an effort to boost its flagging ratings.

At a press conference today in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said that police were looking into the theory that executives at world’s first cable news channel may have somehow influenced someone on board the aircraft during its fateful flight.... Read More →


HobbyLobbyStowOhioHobby Lobby fired an employee yesterday for divorcing her husband without company approval.

33-year old Jennifer Silverton of Scottsdale, Ariz., spent seven years as a cashier at the arts and crafts retail giant and was promoted to assistant manager just two weeks ago.... Read More →


turkeytwitterThe son of Turkish Prime Minister Recep Erdogan launched a new social media startup today that hopes to compete with Twitter, which was recently blocked in the country.

Cıvıltı, which means “chirp” in Turkish, looks and functions almost exactly like Twitter. It allows users to post messages of up to 140 characters in length, share photos and videos, and follow other users’ activity in their home feeds.... Read More →



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The Mozilla Foundation released a new version of their flagship Firefox web browser today that automatically blocks access to all websites affiliated with the gay rights movement.

Firefox Family, which is still in beta testing, was developed for the "traditional values" market in the United States as well as for use in emerging markets such as Saudi Arabia and Uganda, which have strict laws against homosexuality.... Read More →


VodkabanAs the United States tightens economic sanctions against Russia, the Obama administration announced today an import ban on Russian vodka effective immediately.

In a press conference today, Secretary of State John Kerry told reporters that he decided on the move to punish Moscow for its invasion of Crimea.... Read More →



Comedian and TV host Nick Cannon defended his decision to dress up in white face from accusations of racism by claiming he has a white best friend.

“Look, people, how can I possibly be racist when one of my best friends is white?” Cannon told Entertainment Tonight when asked about the controversy. “He’s totally cool with me dressing up as a white guy. We tight like that.”

... Read More →


KimBracketNorth Korea announced today that its leader Kim Jung-Un has a perfect NCAA tournament bracket going into the third round of the prestigious collegiate basketball competition.

According to a report by state-owned KCTV news, Arizona’s crushing victory over Gonzaga last night means Kim has accurately predicted every member of the Sweet Sixteen. The 31-year-old dictator is believed to be the only person in the world to have achieved this feat.... Read More →


admin-ajax-(1)The controversial Westboro Baptist Church has asked the public not to picket the funeral of its founder, Pastor Fred Phelps, who died this week at 84, and "have a little decency and respect" for his family and friends.

In a statement posted on its website, the Topeka, Kan.-based church – home to America’s most hated family – claimed members of the public have threatened to protest Phelps’ funeral just as the church protested the funerals of others.... Read More →


palinSarah Palin claimed today that Malaysia Flight 370 may have vanished because it mistakenly flew too high and ended up in heaven.

During an appearance on Fox News last night, Sean Hannity asked the former vice-presidential candidate for her thoughts about the aircraft, which has been missing for nearly two weeks.... Read More →


knighthoaxThe man who started the Internet hoax that Seinfeld star Wayne Knight had died was himself found dead in his Atlanta apartment this morning.

46-year-old Dylan Murphy posted a fake news report last week on his website which claimed that Knight -- who played Newman on the venerable 1990s sitcom -- had been killed in a car accident.... Read More →