texas_drops_geographyBeginning in the fall of 2015, the state of Texas will no longer teach geography as a part of its public school curriculum.

The money saved from teaching geography will go to new initiatives to teach youngsters how to hunt and properly use firearms.... Read More →

 

ted_cruz_neaderthal_DNATed Cruz got more than he bargained for when he agreed to make public his genetic data from the popular genomics website 23 and Me.

The Texas senator had the tests done as a political stunt, hoping to burnish his science credentials ahead of the 2016 presidential race. However, the strategy backfired dramatically when the results revealed that Cruz’s DNA is 82 percent Neanderthal.... Read More →

 

459239937Today the Australian government officially named Pope Francis as Australian of the Year.

According to a press release on the Ministry of Arts website, the Holy Father was personally chosen for the 2014 honor by Prime Minister Tony Abbott and has been invited to an awards ceremony in Melbourne on March 17.... Read More →

 

178280934Republicans in Congress have decided to rebrand the controversial Keystone XL oil pipeline as “Freedom Juice Highway.”

The pipeline would take oil from Canadian tar sands and deliver it to multiple locations in the United States. Environmentalists are opposed the construction of such new pipelines, and Obama has vowed to veto the bill when it reaches his desk.... Read More →

 

Photo:  Flickr / Anthony Quintano

Photo: Flickr / Anthony Quintano

In another brilliant decision, Seahawks coach Pete Carroll has booked a flight next week on Malaysia Airlines.

According to a report this morning in the Seattle Star, Carroll had promised to take his wife to London at the conclusion of the NFL season. Rather than fly direct on British Airways, he has chosen to fly though Kuala Lumpur on the world’s most notorious carrier.... Read More →

 

153494454God lost a $100,000 Super Bowl bet to Charles Barkley tonight.

Former National Basketball Association (NBA) champ Charles Barkley was ecstatic about his win. “Always bet on the cheaters,” Barkley told The Boston Times. “You’d be a fool not too.”... Read More →

 

american_sniper_iraq_box_officeThe Hollywood blockbuster film American Sniper failed to gain traction overseas, specifically in Iraq where the film brought in $37.50 on 176 screens. It broke $100 million during its North American release weekend and is up for several Oscar awards.

“The glorification of the invaders sniping our people was not going to go over well,” Iraqi Film Minister Ahad al-Obama told Variety. “I was surprised it was released here to begin with. I don’t know what the distributors were thinking.”

Zero Dark Thirty also failed to make $100 during its three-week run in 2012, making it the biggest bomb in Iraqi history. American Sniper is poised to break that record.... Read More →

 

041414_bachmann_819Michele Bachmann claimed today that Muslims invented global warming in hopes of weakening the American economy before a full-scale jihadi invasion.

In an interview with Fox Business this morning, the former congresswoman from Minnesota was asked her opinion on the recent report that 2014 was the warmest year on record, a fact most scientists believe is linked to human-induced climate change.... Read More →

 

isis_student_debtThe Islamic State (ISIS) is offering to pay 100 percent of student college debt in return for joining their army. The program is aimed at Americans who are disgruntled about their debt load and lack of jobs in their specific fields of study.

ISIS spokesman Haji Mutazz told Al Jazeera, “You become debt free and fight in the name of Allah at the same time. Great deal for everyone. You fight, we pay for your philosophy major.”  ... Read More →

 

fox_news_gays_londonAn expert appeared on Fox News last night and claimed that 85 percent of Londoners are homosexual.

During a segment about the future of gay marriage around the world, Greg Bolton -- the channel’s senior European social policy analyst -- told a stunned panel that rates of homosexuality are rising exponentially across Europe and show no sign of stopping.... Read More →

 

republicans_racisimRepublicans in Congress passed a bill today officially declaring that racism no longer exists in the United States.

Large majorities of conservative lawmakers in both the House and Senate voted for the symbolic measure, which coincided with this year’s Martin Luther King Day holiday.... Read More →

 

milk-sorotity-mlkArizona State University’s Kappa Kappa Gamma (KKG) chapter is getting a lot of backlash after throwing an MLK event this weekend in remembrance of “milk,” as in the beverage.

“No one uses vowels anymore. Of course MLK stands for milk. It’s like a vanity plate,” said sorority president Lisa Henderson in a chapter meeting. “Like how my license plate says, 'PRNCZZ7,’ for Princess 7, obviously.”... Read More →